I need my own personal #fail sound effect. That "wah wah waaaaaaah" from price is right when they fail.
I can't figure Red out. She is definitely one odd duck. One minute I think she's making moves on me. Then the next I think I said something wrong and she barely acknowledges my existence.
I've never expressed an interest in her. I mean I flirt. But I flirt with everyone. A couple of months ago I was talking the usual smack. Nothing overt. Just hints and innuendos. Then one day she tells me she has a new apartment and invites me to go see it over lunch. So I went. Nothing came of it. No moves. Just friends. After, she started telling me all about her fuck buddy etc. etc. Completely unsolicited on my part. Again, I didn't offer, make moves, suggest anything. I just listened and commented from a voyeuristic stand point.
Then nothing. I mean she wouldn't even engage in idle chit chat on some of the public forums we all use here. I figured I must've said something wrong and pissed her off.
Then yesterday she suddenly started chatting me up on the public forum. I can't remember the exact sequence. But essentially I was talking to a guy about work. She chimed in. Long story but the guy was answering 2 people at the same time in different forums. I started throwing questions at him to see if I could get him to get confused and answer random non-sense on the OTHER forum (ah the life of a bored geek... this one time... on forum... it was SOO funny). She threw out answers before he could as fast as I could type them out.
Then she said she was asked all of the same questions on a date once. She surmised the date was looking for a smart girl. To which I replied, "I used to go for gullible and pliable". To which she responded "I'm pliable". Not really responding to anyone in particular, I added "Drunk can be substituted for gullible". Someone else said put a beer in front of Red. Again, responding to no one in particular, just letting the comic in my head out I said "well... drunk has to do since you can't club them any more".
She said "well you could grab my hair"... wait what? Are you talking to me? You want me to grab your hair? Considering how things seem to have gone in the past I backpedaled and left the room.
Later, mostly because I couldn't help myself, I posted "I'm looking for beer and a club" and tagged Red. To which she began chatting with me. I, of course, was flirting but not necessarily being overt. She said something about grabbing her hair again. Another long story but she doesn't own a couch. I teased her about it constantly previously. So I said, "grab hair and drag to a couch.. oh wait.. no couch.. bummer". She said "I have a bed"
Ok, now at this point, it seems obvious to me she's implying I should grab her by the hair and drag her to her bed. But, I opted for the flirtatious yet safe route by saying "Well that's a novel idea". She added "Or kitchen table". Ok... this is definitely getting intense.
Then she said "damn it I guess I'm going to have to text fuck buddy now"
Cue the wah wah waaaaahhh
Yeah baby.. story of my life. Mrs asleep on the couch. Hot red head talking shit. And I send her off to her fuck buddy.
