Is there any one home?
It's been well over a year since I closed up shop. I've been popping in and lurking with a few of my fav peeps and thought I'd drop a line for old times sake.
I hung it up at a weird time in my life. I decided introspection wasn't helping and walked away from the "Pluff" alter ego for good. It was more than just blogging. I had a core shift.
So what has happened in a year+?
I was at a place in my job where I really didn't feel much worth. Coming back from the company from hell put me in a weird void where I didn't have projects or responsibilities. Spending my day blogging didn't help at all. There was a feeling of dread. Like I knew the end of my many years here was about to end if something didn't change. I threw myself into projects and making myself visible and I just had the best review in several years.
Things came to a head with Sandy. One day I just realized all I was doing was feeding whatever little head trip she needed. I told her it was time to move ahead or move on. She ignored me and kept on with the games. So I moved on. We haven't talked in over a year.
Not long after, a friend from high school started chatting with me on facebook. We flirted a little (by my standards a little anyway). Then one day she hit me with "I could easily fall for you". Woah brake time! I told her I didn't feel that way and never intended anything more than flirting. Then for the next three months I spent endless hours telling her to leave me alone and to quit stalking. Finally she quit when I threatened to go to the police.
Then BK popped back in my life. She started chatting with me on facebook. Invited me out to hang with her. Mrs had to leave town for a few days. We went out and got SHIT FACED. She talked about all those times we came close but didn't quite go far enough. All the while looking at me with the seductive smile that always melted me. Telling me how much she had wanted to take that little step all those times in the past We left the bar and stood by our cars like we had so many other nights. She knew Mrs was gone. We leaned in close and played the same game over again. "we mustn't. But we want to. Hold close. Almost kiss" etc. Finally I got in my car and left. It hit me on the way home. I dropped well over $100 getting her fucked up. She knew exactly how to string me along. Say what I wanted to hear and basically get booze out of me. I watched her do it to other guys before. I envisioned a whole stable of guys to pick from whenever she felt like partying. Say the right thing, bat an eye and boom.. night out.
The moment it hit me was the moment the last bit of the Pluff alter ego died. Since then, I had someone hit me up from a Ashley Madison account I opened years ago. I chatted with her briefly. It looked promising. But I just didn't feel anything. No excitement at the prospect. I was just going through motions and let it fade.
My redneck hobby has become more and more a part of my life. My good friend retired himself from running things here and asked me to step in. So now I'm in charge. And I don't mean to toot. But It's like the moment all of the Pluff distractions went away, I transformed into the shooter I wanted to be. The last match I shot I spanked everyone. I even competed "up" in that I used the equivalent of a street car in a funny car race and still won. I'm not the best by far. I'm a mid size fish in a tiny pond here. But I'm happy with where I am.
And that's all there is to say about my year. I'm not sure why I popped back in after all this time. I do miss the blogoverse. I do enjoy reading about people who have the lifestyle I wanted. I guess I just walked away without ever really having closure. I will probably lock the site back down again one day. But I'll leave it out there for a while first.
Surgery Was Successful
5 years ago
