As we were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, I pulled the blanket over my head and began to tunnel my way from Mrs feet upwards to her belly. I pulled up her shirt and began to plant little kisses on her stomach. Occasionally, I let the hair on my chin tickle her skin ever so lightly. Then the commercial ended. "The show is back on" she said. Which was my cue to return to my original position at the opposite end of the couch. I have been snubbed by Mrs in lieu of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". I think this may traumatize me for a while. You know how there are moments in a relationship that are defining moments? Guys may or not consciously know what I'm talking about. But deep down they know what I mean. Moments like, when you know you should buy flowers or a gift, or even just make a compliment, but let it go. Either we're too lazy or just not interested or uncomfortable for whatever reason. You know that became a defining moment. No matter what you do from then on out, that moment will be forever ingrained in the "history". It will come back again and again. EVEN if you do the right thing from then on out. That one moment, then lapse of sensitivity overshadows all others. This may be history for a while at least. Or at least until she sticks my dick in her mouth. Face it, men are creatures without long term memory.

Ah... back at work. I'm not sure why I'm so happy to be back here. I really can't stand the place. I think it's because this is where I can spend the most time without interruption. Alone. Working on whatever I want. Don't get me wrong. I love being with my family. But I think work time has become a refuge of sorts. Not that I actually work much i.e. this blog.

We are going to a New Years party tomorrow night. This is usually a pretty good shindig. One of our friends usually hosts it at a clubhouse in the neighborhood where she lives. I'm not sure what to expect this year. In the past, it has ended up a drunken, rowdy, party with people passing out. Generally it was a blast. Now, everyone has kids. Or are married. There aren't many single people left. Those that are, tend to feel out of place and leave early. It's a damned shame. I miss the old days.

The motorcycle trip I mentioned earlier is starting to take on a life of it's own. Originally, I mentioned it to my Dad thinking he wouldn't be interested. When I told him about it, he pretty much said he had a big job coming and wouldn't be able to take the time. Then, a few days later I get a call from him to start looking out for a motorcycle. Apparently, his hasn't moved in around 5 years. He only paid $500 for it in the first place so it isn't worth rebuilding the carbs etc. I guess he started thinking about it and decided life's too short to put off things like that. So I've been keeping my eyes open for something for him. In the meantime, he has been asking all his buddies to watch out for a deal too. It turns out, every person he talks to thinks the trip is an awesome idea and is interested in going. We don't even have a "trip" yet. Just an idea. But there are about 15 people who want to tag along now. The list seems to keep growing.

Holiday action has been slim to none. I think Mrs. and I had uneventful sex either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Actually, it was Christmas day. I bought her the old standby Victoria's Secret gift. Whenever I run out of ideas I just get her lingerie. She wore it. This is how I remember I got laid. Not because of mindblowing sex. But because she wore a thong for the second time ever in her life. Our sex life has settled. As in, we have sex maybe once a week. Sometimes once every other week. There are times when we get crazy and have mind altering sex. But mostly it's get it over with sex. Mrs. usually initiates. So I don't feel like she's putting out because I pressure her to. It's more of a case of she feels like she has to put out or I'll stray. Like a weekly checklist of things for her to get done. Clean kitchen.. check. Wash clothes.... check. Fuck hubby... check. Whenever we have unusually good sex, I either initiate it or I push beyond straight me on top pump away sex. I don't know if she prefers me on top pumping away or not. But often times, we kinda get started. Then I start to move down her body so I can pleasure her with my tongue. She'll grab my head and pull me on top of her instead of letting me go. This is when I feel like it's duty. Like she just wants to get it over with. I'll try to go slow to make it last. To make sure she cums. But she'll kind of rock her hips and grab my ass to make me go faster. Again, like she wants to get it over with. Maybe I read too much into this. She's not adventurous sexually. Maybe she has the vanilla view of sex and love and to her this is the best. Maybe she doesn't feel the need to orgasm every time we have sex. As a male, I have a hard time understanding this. I know we are goal oriented as a gender and women aren't that way. Knowing it doesn't mean I understand it. I think, though, if I were to ever try to push the envelope, say introduce a toy. She'd freak. She would really start grilling me as to where the hell I came up with that idea. Her insecurities would start to come out. Maybe I picked it up from someone else etc.. ARGHGH!!

Other than sexually, we had a beautiful holiday. C was adorable as only a 2 yr old discovering Christmas can be. It was an absolute thrill watching her discover the toys Santa left for her. She is starting to turn into such a beautiful little girl. I'm in awe that something so precious came from me.

Home with C today. Mrs. has to work 1 day before the end of the year. She didn't quite have enough vacation to take all of this week off. C is out of school and I had said I would watch her before I realized MY schedule was screwed up too.

I'm also on-call at work. So I'm juggling C and work. I'll get back to regular blogging tommorrow when I'm back to a normal routine.

Merry Belated Christmas!!

I survived the holiday with Mrs family!! C was adorable as were both of my nieces. I sank into the oblivion of Christmas DVD gifts (the Sopranos 4th Season Thank You Mrs and C!!). I'll have better recap later. Right now I'm just checking e-mail etc. making sure nothing earthshattering has gone on in cyberworld. Until then, have an enjoyable day after.

I had to rearrange my holiday schedule. I was planning to work up until Christmas Eve, then take all of the following week off. However, I discovered I was on-call that week. So I am now off this week and will work most of next.

We had a make up observation day Fri. morning at the school where C decided to go berserk. I decided to take C because she knows crying with me will not get her anywhere and I knew we would make it through it. We went to my office while waiting for the appointed time. While there, C was in a really good mood. I had a lot of goodies my coworkers brought for the holidays. So we loaded up on candy and cookies etc. Basically, I had her hopped up on sugar. She was really giggly by the time we got to the school. Mrs. met us there so we could tag team if necessary. C was a little nervous and acted like she wanted to freak. So Mrs. just picked her up and whisked her into the room. C immediately spied a few toys she liked and started playing immediately. I watched through a 2 way mirror outside the classroom. C was playing with an older lady there. Our contact at the school came up to me and looked in. She said "Oh look, she's playing with X. She's the Director of Admissions". I thought to myself "You GO C!!! Skip those underlings and go right to the head honcho!!!". The observation went well. Afterwards, we went to visit our friend and say thank you for being patient with us etc. C was wound up tight. The sugar was in full swing. She jumped up on a couch in her office and started rolling around making goofy noises and faces. She NEVER does this. It usually takes her about an hour to warm up to a place. We were shocked that she just charged in and went nuts.

I left C with Mrs. and went back to work. Apparently, she went back to Mrs' office and went nuts there. She laid on her back and spun around like break dancers do, ran up and down the halls, squealed a lot. Generally wreaked havoc. Ah sugar.

We've been doing the Christmas party circuit almost every night this weekend. I used to be in a band. I play bass guitar. One of my musician friends had a party Sat. night. We've jammed a little off and on since my band broke up. We've toyed with the idea of starting something. The party was a Christmas party and jam. So I took my bass. Apparently, my friend had put a little band together and this was in fact a party AND a rehearsal. They apparently have a gig on New Years Eve at a really great club downtown. The "jam" never happened. I was a little bit miffed I didn't get a chance to jam a little bit. It's kind of like going to play basketball and never getting chosen. Sitting on the sidelines hoping you'll get a chance to jump in. The bass player they had wasn't all that great either. He was a guitar playing hacking at bass. I'm not saying I would've been any better. I haven't picked up my bass since the summer. And I've only played it a few times before that. It would've taken me a while to knock the rust off. But to set up a band to play a gig, you'd think they'd want someone more seasoned. Oh well. Maybe I'll start looking to hook up with a band after the new year.

My entries will probably be a little sporadic until next week. I usually blog at work. I have to find time to myself to sit down and write. Until then, Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Feliz Navidad etc. etc.

Last night was Mrs' annual Christmas girls night out. All of the girls in the crowd we hang out with get together at a really swanky restaurant downtown. I got a chance to do some shopping. The first "real" shopping I've done this year. I did most of mine on-line. This was my first venture to an actual store.

Mrs came home around 10:30 (yeah it was a raucous night!!). I decided to go to bed early. Mrs came to bed. I rolled over and put my arms around her. She had her back to me so my chin was next to her shoulder. I have facial hair and I know it drives her wild when I let the hairs on my chin lightly brush along the back of her neck and along her shoulders. She leaned back into me. I could feel the goose bumps begin to rise on her arms. She leaned back and stretched her legs in an obvious sign she wanted more. I ran my hands along her side, to her nipples. She moaned and stretched her legs even more. I ran my hands down from her nipples, along her stomach, down to her waiting pussy. She was soaking wet. I began to tease her clit. I could feel her legs begin to tense. I moved from behind her and took her nipples in my mouth. Sucking and nibbling. Letting my beard tickle them. Biting them lightly. I ran my tongue where my hands had been. Down her stomach to her pussy. She responded immediately, thrusting her pussy to my mouth. She grabbed my hand and pushed it downwards. She really likes for me to use my tongue on her clit and my finger simultaneously. It didn't take long for her to cum. She grabbed the back of my head and forced me to grind my tongue on her clit while she shook violently. As the aftershocks subsided, I moved between her legs. She grabbed me and pulled me to her. Her hands went to my ass and pulled as I buried myself into her. We held each other like that. Her feeling me deep inside her. Me feeling her warmth. She began to grind into me, wanting me to fuck her silly. I stayed still. Pinning her beneath me. Allowing only a small amount of movement. She grunted, grabbed my ass and forced me to begin to fuck her hard. I love it when she begs. It didn't take long for us to explode.

We lay there for only a few moments afterwards before I heard her snore. I thought it was only the guys that feel asleep immediately after.

Ah pool night. A, the smoking hot girl from previous posts, was there last night. She really knows how to play men. She walked in, came over to our table gave everyone big hugs. Later, she had to move to let one of the guys out. She came over to me, leaned back against me so that her head rested on my shoulder. Her perfume was intoxicating. I wrapped my arms around her and we sat like that a talked for a while. My cheek pressed against her neck. Brushing the amazingly smooth skin of her neck just below her jaw line as I spoke. She eventually went back to the seat with her friends. Later, she came over again. She was cold and had borrowed a jacket. This time she walked up, leaned into me pressing her beautifully sculptured breasts against me. I put my arms around her waist under the jacket. I said "this is the best". She said, "No it's better naked". I said "I'm sure, but I wouldn't know". She replied "Not yet". "Yet?" I asked. "You're married" was her answer. ARGHGHG!!!! "You're almost married" I retorted. She said "But WE have an understanding. You get a note from your wife, and I'll fuck your brains out". ARGHGHGH!!!!!!

I should clarify something here. I have never cheated on my wife. I never cheated on my ex-wife. At least, not while we were together. Once we separated I had sex with a few people. This was after the ex and I had "decided whether or not to work things out". So while technically married, we were living separately in every sense of the word. She had her own place. We had separate finances. My State has this archaic law that you must be separated for a year before you can divorce. I never cheated on her while committed to the marriage. I thought about it a few times. I had opportunity once. It would've taken a little initiative on either party and it would have been on. A simple kiss would've been all it would have taken. But I didn't. I really wanted to. But I held my urges in check. Yeah I know, big whoop. I'm only giving background here.

People used to ask me if I cheated or would ever cheat on my wife. My answer is always no. I have to be honest though, if someone phenomenal came along, and the situation were just right, I don't know. If one night, A were to come up to me and say "I'm really horny, I want to you fuck me long and hard" I think I might. Because she is smoking hot. And all she wants is sex.

If anybody actually reads this, I know I'm a low life dog. But I have to be honest.

I had a great post written earlier in the day. Apparently, blogger went down sometime while composing and I lost it all. Sigh.. technology.

It's just as well. I'm pretty sure it was self serving drivell anyway. I went on and on about my fantasies. What I think when I meet or see beautiful women etc. The possibility that my recent sex addiction could be simply insecurities etc. My life in general is pretty boring and these ramblings are the only excitement I've had in a while.

Tonight is pool night. Who knows, maybe something interesting will happen to write about.

Last night Mrs. and I had it out over the botched observation day. She was really upset I felt like she let C push her around and the botch was her fault. I can't help it. I see how C cries or screams when she wants or doesn't want something and Mrs. responds to it. C has always been shy and in some cases anti-social. So I know as soon as she didn't like the situation, she started pitching a fit and Mrs. caved. I did not get the entire story when we spoke yesterday morning. We have a friend in admissions at AH. She suggested we try again Fri. morning. I was under the impression C pitched a fit and Mrs. just left. The exit wasn't as dramatic as I was led to believe.

Still, the situation was brought on by a screaming child. She only does this to Mrs. because she knows Mrs. will do whatever to make her stop. For example, she was sitting in her chair eating the other day. Our rule is, she doesn't have to eat. We're not going to force her. But she has to sit there for 15 minutes. Dinner time is dinner time and no other. She started crying after only 30 sec. Mrs. immediately ran over asking "What's wrong? Do you want out?". I couldn't believe it. She completely ignored our rule and reinforced with C that crying gets you what you want. I walked over and pulled her away and told Cameron it was ok and to eat. After about 5 minutes, she started eating and was as happy as could be. Our rule isn't to force her to eat. Our rule is to establish dinner time as when we eat. You don't graze all night. You don't get up then down etc. to eat a bite here and there. You eat at dinner or not. C knows this. She deals with this 90% of the time. When she eats, she can have dessert. If not, we let her down without a fuss after she's sat for dinner for 15 minutes. We don't scold her. She can't have any treats. But we don't make a big deal of it.

I look at instances like this, then I hear about what happened yesterday. You have to conclude Mrs. set herself up for that behavior. I know 2 yr olds will have bad days. But the difference is her pitching a fit, or simply clinging to Mommy. I would have no problem with her sitting in Mommy's lap for the duration of the observation. 2 yr olds do that. But to not even make it in the room is inexcusable. Your child is not in charge.

I don't know whether we resolved anything or not. I essentially quit arguing and told her what she wanted to hear because it was pointless. Unfair or not, these are the facts. She wouldn't see it. It's like the people I know at work who really need etiquette lessons. We've actually had consultants come to give classes to people. The ones who need it most are always the ones who say how stupid it is and who don't want to go to the classes. This is similar. I see it. She won't.

On a different subject, I'm going fucking crazy?!?! Maybe it's the holidays. Maybe it's the fight we had. I'm ready to climb the walls to get laid. I don't mean by Mrs. either. Hell we did it this morning. I am, in fact, baffled by it. Everywhere I turn there is sex sex sex. ARGHGHGH!!!

Ok I feel much better now.

Just implemented comments via Haloscan.

One Wed. night, my friends and I were shooting pool at a bar. After a while, we decided to head to a different place. We walked in and immediately ran into a girl I work with. As mentioned before, I work in the IT field. The girl is one of the 3rd shift operators. She has a notorious reputation as a slut. There have been several times I was awakened at 3am with a problem at work. Many of those times, she takes the opportunity to try to get somewhere. I've spoken with several of my cohorts and I'm not alone. I can tell you, at 3am, after having been asleep, I am not interested in anything other than clearing the cobwebs, solving the problem, and getting back to sleep. This particular Wed. night, it was apparent she was wasted. She came running up and gave be a big ol' hug. The next words out of her mouth were "I don't usually act like this. Don't tell anyone at work". I just laughed it off and went to shoot pool. After a while, there was a commotion on the dance floor. I looked over and saw a crowd of people, guys mostly, grouped around a girl. Guess who? She was standing there, lifting her dress, pulling her panties aside and letting everyone look at her pussy. She also pulled her dress top and bra aside to show them her tits too. This went on for a good while. She did it over and over. At one point I saw guys fingering her, groping her tits. Two of the girls (form previous posts) came running up to the table and said "ya'll, this girl just showed me her pussy. I was just walking by and she yelled at me and flashed it!!". She eventually moved off the dance floor over to a back corner. Of course the action continued over there.

Fri. night, my office had our Christmas party. They held it at one of those private members only clubs downtown. This club has the air of the one from Trading Places. You know, the high society snobs with Ivy Leaque educations and ooolld money. The upper crust of local society belong to this place. It's very exclusive.

Guess who was there? She was in rare form too. Her dress was this electric blue sequined thing. It was way too tight and short for her physique. It showed off every bulge she had (there were plenty) as well as her massive cleavage. Again, she was wasted. One of my colleagues made the mistake of walking too close to her. She grabbed his arm and started talking to him. Her "date" was a friend of hers who was her "decimated driver". At one point, she was staggering in the lobby jumping in every picture taken. I noticed the Vice President standing there taking the whole thing in. I have no idea how it ended. I cannot imagine it ended well

The party was a great glimpse into the lives of a lot of people I work with. I was shocked at the number who really let their hair down. More so because of the setting. This place isn't exactly one that inspires pictures of naked women dancing on the tables next to the poached salmon.

This morning, my daughter had an observation at a private school where were are trying to get her accepted. This school is one of the top schools in town. It offers 2 yr through 12th grade and is an all girls school. A lot of the downtown girls go to this school. We really want C to go there because it is the best and because she can go through 12th grade. The rest of the private schools around here with programs for her age only go through kindergarten. Public schools here suck. So we've committed to giving her the best education possible. That being said, Mrs. fucked up the observation today. I am so pissed off about it. My wife has NEVER disciplined our daughter. And my daughter knows how to manipulate her. So they go into the room for her observation, my daughter freaks out. She freaks because she knows my wife will cave in. Then end result, my child screaming, my wife leaving, no admittance. I'm FURIOUS! To the point I'm having a hard time writing this. My wife called me crying saying this was a "sign from God". She is ready to accept a mediocre or substandard education for our girl. There is one other possibility. Unfortunately, it is way more expensive than this school, and therefore out of my reach. PG is number 1, this school was number 2. The thing is, she goes to a school now. She interacts. She does everything they do at AH. If they had just taken her and observed her, she would've been fine. But instead, my wife had to go with her. And she took that weakness and went for it. I can't write anymore.

I have a friend I have known since college. B was pretty much a horndog. If he wasn't screwing, he was jerking off. He told me of times where he jerked off when he woke up, his girlfriend came over and they fucked, then he jerked off later after she left. His college career was a short one. Go figure. His life has pretty much revolved around sex in one way or another since. He married a girl about 8 or 9 years ago. They have experimented with a lot of things, swinging, voyuerism etc. In a recent conversation he admitted he was having an affair. Now this is mean to say, but I can't really blame him. His wife doesn't really have a lot going for her. Physically she isn't overly attractive. Mostly she's a clingy bitch. I don't usually pass judgment on people, though I seem to a lot in here. She drives me crazy. On the surface, she's a holy roller. It's an epidemic in the south. Holier than thou born again Christians. She doesn't let B out of her site. I'm sure Veruca Salt was her idol as a child (and no, I'm not talking about the damned band. I mean the brat in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory). She is also determined to "change" him. Which is a REAL pet peeve of mine. If you don't like the was someone is, move on. You can't change or mold people into YOUR image. You will change them, but not the way you want them to end up.

The girlfriend is apparently the opposite. She is petite, has an awesome body. She is married also. The thing that never ceases to amaze me isn't the fact that he's screwing around. Looking at his past it's inevitable. But that he's having an affair. As in, they've been seeing each other for years. They BOTH have TONS to lose if caught. And they apparently fuck once a day at lunch. So the odds are astronomically against them as far as keeping it a secret. Eventually, someone will slip up. A spouse will become suspicious. A friend of one of the spouses will spot them together. Somewhere down the line, it will happen. I love the guy, but he's not that clever to keep it secret forever.

The worst thing is, he has this notion they will both leave their spouses and be together. I'm sure they both believe that will happen. However, they aren't taking into account the one thing this relationship has their others don't, and that is the thrill of the affair itself. What happens when the fallout is over, they both go through messy divorces and they finally have each other. They are living together 24/7. They don't have to sneak off to be with each other. Everything is out in the open. I speak from experience here. I dated a married woman after I divorced my first wife (many stories later on that). I really didn't want to go out with her. She was pretty forceful. She was also smoking hot so eventually, being the male of the species that I am, I caved. It was awesome for a year or so. We fucked everywhere. In her office, in her van in a parking garage. We worked on the same things at the office so we went to conferences and snuck to each other's room. Watched pornos and reenacted. It was awesome.

Eventually the relationship started turning to the "what can we do to be together all the time" phase. I.e. she wanted to divorce her husband. And eventually she did. The we were together. And it sucked. She felt guilty about the divorce. So SHE became a holier than thou born again etc. Once we could be together all the time we realized we were the same people as we were in our previous relationships. The thrill was the affair. It ended badly. I was really in love with her. She was in love with the affair. The last conversation we had was her judging me as an immoral person because I wouldn't go to church with her and me telling her to piss off. The end result was a lot of miserable people.

I've tried to counsel my friend that this will happen. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there are exceptions and people can live happily ever after from these circumstances. But I challenge that the odds are astronomically against it.

Our conversations recently have been revolving around the trip bubbling in the cauldron (or cesspool) of my brain. Initially he and I were discussing a weekend camping trip. He reenacts (you know, the civil war buffs) and wants me to try it. So maybe we would do that one weekend. Eventually we ended up on the girlfriend and both of our obsessions with sex. He now wants to take a weekend and take "cover trips". As in me finding someone to fuck and taking a trip. He would do the same with his girlfriend and we'd "cover" for each other. We were bouncing around the end of Jan. for the trip when we first started talking about it.

So the dilemma is, I know the perils of affairs. I also think the odds are almost as big that no woman exists who wants to fuck just for the sake of fucking. One time sex. I would say the one night stand but I don't really want to commit to a night. Just an encounter. Ok maybe the "cover" weekend. But never beyond that. I don't think these women really exist. I think they are the marketing machine of the sex industry fueling my bored imagination. I believe after it was over, they would want more. Maybe I give myself too much credit. But I believe women tend to want the emotions of sex more than the act and therefore couldn't leave it at that. Yet I constantly fantasize about the proverbial "strange".

I think my friend will be disappointed come Jan.

While scanning my morning blogs I came across a dissertation by Phillip of Hot Action dealing with sex blogs. I thought I should take a moment to clarify what this blog is to me. This, to me, is a place for me to think out loud. Lay out issues in my life. Which, admittedly, is pretty boring. Maybe this is a way for me to add a little excitement to it. As of late, I have focused on sex. This blog is not intended to be a sex blog. I enjoy sex a lot. I've been preoccupied with it recently in previous posts and will probably continue to do so as it reflects my daily thoughts. My writings on sexual events are me reliving them. My writing style when it comes to sexual encounters is amateurish and probably boring. I'm telling things like they are on this blog. So it will come across that way. Not to mention I'm new at writing about such intimate details of my life and have a hard time committing words like "cock" and "dick" to the big electric cloud of the internet knowing I'm talking about me and someone I'm very close to. I have set this blog up to be as anonymous as I can make it because Mrs. would be horrified if she knew I was talking about her in such a public manner. While I'm sure it would take an astronomical set of circumstances for her to stumble across this site, or anyone else for that matter, I cringe at the thought of her reading about how she "sucked my cock" etc. So I feel really self conscious writing it. If she were to come across this site, it wouldn't be hard to figure out who I was and who I was talking about.

Enough on that.

Last night was my night out. I hang out at this bar and shoot pool. There are a few women who hang out there who I always have a good time with. One, A, is smoking hot. The first time I met her she started laying out the sexual innuendos right off the bat. We've had several conversations where I got home and lay awake for a long time fantasizing about what we would do. She and her fiance have an open relationship. From our conversations, I believe she would be amazing in the sack and has hinted at us hooking up on occasion. She had her tits done and loves to show them off. There have been several times where she offered to show them to us if one of us one a game. She delivered every time we did. MAGNIFICENT!

E, is another woman I run into frequently. She and I flirt a lot. In fact, I can't really help it when she gets around. She's older than me, has a nice body etc. I only flirt with her because I think if the situation were right, we were alone, had a few drinks, and I pushed her, she would probably lose all inhibitions. However, I'm not really interested in having sex with her. But I can see it in her eyes that she would. I think the only reason she resists is because I'm married. When we flirt, she always makes comments on how I'm tempting her, how it's not fair etc. I don't know why, but I feel compelled to push her. Flirt with her until she caves. I only find her somewhat attractive. She is older. Her body is nice, but not in shape. The total package doesn't really do it for me. I tell her all the time I would never have sex with her. But I push her anyway. I even tell her I'm just talking shit just for the fun of it. I don't think she believes me. I know if my heart if we were alone, and I was talking shit, and she leaned over to kiss me or initiated in some way I'd stop her.

K has been after me from the first time we met. She's a sweet heart. But she's not my type at all. I am not physically attracted to her in any way. The first couple of nights I saw her, I flirted with her because when I get out and have a few drinks I do that. Then I realized she was serious and wanted to hook up pretty bad and I backed off. Since then, she makes not so subtle comments every time she can. To the point one of the guys will say things like "I though it was only Mr. you wanted to fuck?" whenever she talks about guys. The bad thing is, she always says "hell yeah" and I know she means it.

B, is a young girl on the team. She just turned 21. She has no job, lives with her boyfriend, a 40 something yr old dentist, and is generally a brat. There are not many women that get on my nerves. She's one of them. She thinks the whole brat thing is cute. It's not. In fact, I believe everyone else cringes every time she starts in on something. The bad thing is, she's pretty smart. We'll have political discussions and she really knows her history etc. She just needs some worldly experience to make her bearable. Here's a classic example. She had a baby via her 40 yr old dentist. Most of us on the team have had children. We've all experienced all aspects of the child birthing and post birth care. Such as breast feeding. We've all had wives who leaked, had to feed in public, you name it. For some reason, she thought she needed to share her leaky tits with everyone. Clearly no one but her had ever experienced lactation. So every chance she got, she'd whip out the nursing pads in her bras to show everyone. Or show us her blouse where she had leaked through. Or tell us about episiotomies or whatever she felt like sharing with us. If ever anyone needed a good grudge fucking it would be her. But not with my dick.

In the past Wed. nights have been wild. Girls showing off their tits. People trying hard to hook up. The bar is one of those where occasionally a fight breaks out. In fact, I missed last week because of Mrs' Grandmother. Apparently a fight broke out that ended up one of those brawls like you see on TV. I'm not prone to violence. But an occasional fight is good to get out any pent up aggression. A few months ago the bouncer was busted for dealing out of the bar. Since then, business has seriously dropped off. Last night, by 11:00 we were the only people there. The manager decided to close early. So I was home by 11:30. What a let down. I think I look forward to Wed. night so much because something interesting usually happens. I keep hoping one night, A will make me an offer I can't refuse.

Sadly, it wasn't last night. .

So I've been contemplating a trip. I have a motorcycle. An Uncle I have who lives on the west coast casually suggested he meet me on his bike somewhere in the middle of the country during our twice a year phone call during the holidays. I laughed and said "Yeah" in one of those, "sure I say I'll do it but I know I won't kind of ways". After I hung up, the thought kept popping up. I'd find myself daydreaming about riding the open road. Staying in unusual places. Being nomadic for a week or two and letting adventures happen as they will.

I don't think I'm ready for that long of a trip yet. My bike is more of a.. bad ass than a comfort bike. A production version of one of those you see on Discovery. Not a Harley or even American. They call it a "powercruiser". Anyway, it's built for speed and looks and not for long distance. I could make it comfortable, but it would take more $$ than I'm willing to spend in the next few months. So maybe a short "warm-up" trip is in order. A buddy told me about a trip he took to Biloxi Miss. to the casinos. It sounded intriguing to me.

Perhaps a plan is beginning to form...

Our morning routine is generally a well timed/well oiled machine. Mrs. usually gets up around 6am, then wakes me up when she's out of the shower so I can get in. When I get out, I go and wake up C. C likes to cuddle a bit after she wakes up. She kinda needs to ease into the waking world. Mrs. fixes her a sippy cup and breakfast. Usually by this time, C is awake and ready to eat. So I put her in her chair and let her eat and watch the Disney channel while both Mrs. and I get dressed. I, being a male of the species, am usually dressed in a bout 10 minutes. So while Mrs. continues to get dressed, I get C out of her chair, change diaper, dress her, and wash her face. Mrs. usually has her clothes laid out for me by the time C wakes up. There is no way I'll pick clothes for a 2 yr old girl. I have enough problems picking clothes for myself and C's closet has twice as many clothes as mine and Mrs. combined. Once C is dressed, I pass her off to Mrs. and I leave. Total time to shower, shave, dress myself, dress C, feed C, cuddle with C etc.. 1 hr.

This morning I was ironing my shirt while C was in her chair eating. Mrs. came up to me, knelt down, pulled my boxers down and proceeded to give me head. After a few minutes of this, she pushed me down on the bed and took me in her mouth again. After a few minutes of this, I pushed her on her back and began to suck and nibble her nipples. She reached down and pulled me like she was ready. So I obliged. After a few minutes she rolled over so I could fuck her from behind. What a way to get ready for work.

As I generally blog at work, I must now get to it. However, I have more to say later.

Much better today. This is the third time this year I've had some kind of stomach bug. It's a pretty big change from past years. I would say I've gone about 12 years without any kind of illness other than a head cold. Before that, it was probably another 4 or 5 years that I can remember. I generally just don't get sick. The child changed all of that. Actually, daycare changed all of that. We were all a healthy family until she started daycare. Then we started passing bugs around. C caught one particularly nasty one. Then Mrs. got it. Then I got it. In the span of about 24 hours we were all incapacitated to the point we had to call the Mrs-in-law to come help. Then SHE got it. Passed it to 2 of her sisters. That was probably the most sick I've been since elementary school. And not the flu etc. This had us all nauseous to the point we couldn't stand. It was like that yesterday but not nearly so severe.

Today must be the misery report. There's not a whole lot other than pain to talk about today. My wife's Grandmother passed away yesterday morning. She had not been expected to last long off of life support. To everyone's surprise and dismay she hung in there for a really long time. Services will be today and tomorrow

Today I am home sick. I either ate a bad pizza or caught whatever bug my little girl had last week. I always hate catching these damn things on a Mon. Especially after I had already been out on Fri. Looks like I'm after a 4 day weekend. But let me tell you, I'd take work anyday over the nausea etc.

Kind of hard to discuss much else. I'll write more later. Or tommorrow.

I watched The Italian Job again last night. Let me just say.... Charlize Theron.

I was extremely cold yesterday afternoon. We just moved into a new house and the heat needs adjusting. Some parts of the house are really cold and others are really hot. We're getting it fixed next week. Anyway, when Mrs. got home, I decided to take a really hot bath to see if I couldn't warm up. I stripped down while talking to Mrs. The next thing I know, she walks over and pushes me down on the bed and gives me an amazing blow job. Call me a pig, but if only I had watched Charlize first. While blow jobs are an amazing thing and something one should never take for granted, I can't help but to occasionally fantasize about other women while getting one. How do some guys respond when asked if they cheat on their wife? "Only when I close my eyes".

Today I get to spend the whole day with my little girl. She came down with some kind of bug yesterday afternoon and was sent home from school. Mrs took care of her yesterday. Circumstances being what they are, it's my turn today.

The timing really sucks in light of Mrs' Grandmother's condition. The family decided to take her off of life support. The last we had heard she was hanging in there but was labored and not expected to last the night. We haven't had a status today.

I love spending time with my girl. However, my company has ridiculous sick policies and I am damned near out of vacation. It would be best if I could go to work. Oh well. Family comes first.

I saw a post on one of the other blogs I read, I can't remember which, that was a long discussion of married men professing their love for someone other than their spouse. I have to say, the author has some serious misconceptions about men. And the cheater really fueled them. See, I think men essentially are always on the lookout for the proverbial strange. Sure there are guys who have never considered cheating on their wife or even fantasize about it. But most guys look at beautiful women and wonder what it would be like to fuck their brains out. As a man, I don't know if I truly understand why that is. Some say it's the ancient hunter coming out. Some say it's insecurities and men have to validate their manhood by their sexual conquests. The reason can be debated forever. For me, I just like to have sex. I think it's the newness of someone I've never slept with before. The excitement of the first time. Different smells. The feel of different skin. Exploring the differences in body parts. The way people react differently to sex. That being said, I've never cheated on my wife, or my ex-wife either. My ex always thought I did. And I had opportunities. At one point, the only thing preventing it was lack of initiative on both parties. There was opportunity, desire. If one or the other of us had even so much as touched the other, it would have been on. But alas I didn't and she didn't and I remained tested, but faithful. If opportunity were to arise now, I'm not sure how I would react. I still have fantasies. Not of leaving my wife. I love my wife. But of hooking up with a stranger. I often see beautiful women and I imagine fucking them. It's pretty cliched. But true nonetheless.

Back to the post I saw. The woman went into the relationship with the cheater under the notion that he would leave his wife. The cheater, fueled this by telling her this sad tale of how miserable he was and how he wanted out. He told her he would leave his wife and be with the new girl. Ladies, listen carefully, the guy was full of shit from the get go. The only thing he was unhappy with was his raging boner. The woman was flat out naive. The guy knew exactly what would get him in her pants, and he did it. The great injustice here is that this woman is now seriously jaded against men. She may think she's not. But her post had it written (ha!) all over it in her tone etc. The guy, reinforced by his success, is going to do it again.

I have a good friend of mine who did this. He met a woman through one of his hobbies. She was in another southern town. He told her he was miserable in his marriage. He would leave his wife for her etc. etc. I know the guy pretty well. And can tell you he had NO intention of leaving his wife at all. His only interest was in fucking this girl silly. And he did. A lot. Eventually, she started pressuring him to follow through on his promise. At this point he dropped her. And I mean fast too. The woman knew a lot about him. So she went and searched the on-line directory where he worked and sent e-mails to every person who looked like they were female to tell them what a dog he was. The end result was, he had to fess up to his wife. Who promptly left him. They reconciled for a bit. One of the demands was for him to move back with her to her home town to be near her family. So he quit his job (a very high position) and went with her. Eventually, they split for good. Which left him in a small town without a real job. His original job had long since been filled. He ended up having to start all over again career wise and family wise.

I don't really have any opinion one way or another about cheating itself. I mean, I admittedly fantasize about it and may, if the situation arose, do it. But I would definitely not tell someone I was going to leave my wife. It's just plain mean. Not to mention it leaves a possibly vindictive woman out there.

Now, I recognize the contradiction. Don't lie to someone you are going to cheat with. But the term cheat is in itself a lie. It's one to wrestle with for sure. I guess the really pure would never fantasize about other women to begin with. The reality is, I do.

So having said that. The question is, are there women who are really just into sex? I mean, you see it all the time. Even on several blogs I read. But most of them are in the sex industry. Are they really that into it or is it all part of the business. Are there women who just want to have really good sex then go on their way?

Last night, my Wife found out her Grandmother's health took a very bad turn. She is very very old by any standard and was in extrodinary health for her age. She suffered an aneurism. The word was she was on life support and the family was to decide whether or not to continue it. Later, word came the hospital had decided to transfer her to a larger facility where a neurologist would examine her and give a more accurate status of things. Last night was my regular night out during the week. My wife has one night she goes and hangs out with the girls. I have a night I go out and hang with my buds etc. She had an event she had to do for work last night and couldn't back out at the last minute. The in-law was to keep our child. Things being what they were, that all had to change. So I missed my night out to watch my girl. Which was fine by me. Family is family and this was definitely a situation that this was the right thing to do. My girl is really fun to hang out with right now too.

The evening, eventually ended and we all pretty much crashed. It was strange watching her work. She has a very public job. It requires she use diplomacy, be "on" all the time, essentially be a public persona. Considering how close she was to her grandmother and how shocked and distraught she was to hear the news, she turned off her pain (or at least buried it very well) and became the public persona when the event started. She had a very successful night. I don't think I could have pulled that off. I, being the raised in the south boy that I am where you say what's on your mind, would have probably been a wreck and the evening would have been a disaster. Sometimes, she is definitely the stronger person.

Continuing my post from yesterday....

This morning I leaned over to "cuddle" with my wife. She is very much into physical contact. I believe it's reassurance she seeks most of the time. Physical contact seems to affirm our relationship. I enjoy it. Sometimes she wants to cuddle more than I can handle. All in all, we have healthy "cuddle time". Considering family events, I initiated a cuddle session. I was pretty sure she could use it. So there we were, cuddling in the dark just before sunrise. She reached down and began to stroke me. I was very surprised. My interest was purely in comforting her and being supportive. She was clearly interested in more than that. In fact, much to my surprise, she rolled over and assumed the doggy position. More to my surprise, from that position, she fucked me!

It's possible she woke up horny as hell in spite of an exhausting evening and grief. Maybe, in the fog of waking, she was just horny and last night's events had not bubbled to her conscious yet. Maybe she wanted to feel alive due to the situation. Maybe this was her way of dealing with grief. The release of endorphins to dull the ache etc. No matter what, the missing passion I spoke of yesterday was definitely there this morning. Maybe it is a circumstantial thing.

Unfortunately, I am not a morning person when it comes to sex. Additionally, I did not expect to "fuck". I didn't even expect to have sex at all. And when she initiated it I was expecting "love making". In fact, I was caught a little off guard. So my performance wasn't exactly earth shattering.

Boy do I feel like I'm full of shit after my posting yesterday.

Today is the first day of my blog. I'm sure this will go through growing pains etc. Here are some initial details and thoughts.

I am a married male living in the deep south. In fact, a city renowned for it's beauty and history. I work as in the tech field. In fact, I'm a geek. Yet I have, until now, shied away from the "cyber lifestyle". I've never chatted for reasons other than work, I've only developed one web page in my life. But I've run a variety of systems. I've held positions doing everything from developing to project management. So on one hand, I'm a seasoned geek. On the other, I'm a newbie.

I have a beautiful daughter. The absolute love of my life. She is 2 and at that age where everything is wonderment. My wife is beautiful. She is a wonderful mother. We've been married 2 1/2 years (those of you who are clever can do the math on this). I love her.

I have several interests from indoor sports (billiards), outdoor sports (fishing and hunting), to movies. I have a home movie theater. It sounds more impressive than it is. It's mostly just a big TV with surround speakers in it's own room. Nothing like what say... Tommy Lee or anyone remotely wealthy has. No special chairs, remote control curtains, wood paneling, stages, fake marquees with mahogany french door entrances or anything like that. Just a spare bedroom with the equipment and a love seat.

My sex life is so so. Recently I've been having these urges to be with someone else. No one in particular. And certainly not more than once. In the south we call this "Strange". Except it's pronounced Straihnge!! It's not that I don't love my wife. I just feel like everything is.... the same. I'm sure most guys feel this way at some point so people are going to roll their eyes at this. My wife and I have so so sex. We both work and our 2 yr old wears us out. So mostly sex is on the weekend, during naptime. Usually quick so we can get back to whatever we need to do while the child is sleeping and therefore not undoing whatever it was we just did. Occasionally, a wild hair overcomes us and we go beyond the quickie. And at night even. The thing is, even when we get crazy, I just feel like I've missed something. My wife, bless her, tries to be sexy and adventurous. But the bottom line is, she's not really. And she's a real sweetheart. Born and raised in the south. Went to private school. She's a little bit naive when it comes to sex. It would, I believe, break her heart to think that I don't enjoy sex with her. It's not that I don't enjoy it. It's just... the same. And if I told her that, she would find fault in herself. She does that a lot. Takes any criticism to be a personal failure. Even if it is painstakingly worded to be constructive. Her perception would be that I didn't enjoy it no matter how hard I tried to explain it otherwise.

To complicate matters, the last relationship I was in before my wife was extremely sexual. We had sex on a daily basis for at least 2 years before I broke it off (another story altogether). I don't mean going through the motions sex. I mean, knock stuff off the walls, back clawing, making ugly faces, someone calling the cops on us sex. We had so much sex, so passionately, that when we broke up I felt like I was sexed out. Perhaps this is the underlying cause of my issue with it now. I started dating my wife during this phase of my life. I was actually interested in going out on dates and romance etc. more so than the "hook up". My wife, being the refined southern belle that she is, brought up sex on the first couple of dates to tell me that she wouldn't be sleeping with me yet. At the time, I was honestly ok with that. When we did sleep together. She completely initiated it. In fact, if she hadn't, I probably wouldn't have. I find my wife very attractive now and then. Perhaps if I had still been in the sex everyday, sex until you drop mode our sex life might be different today. I think, maybe my sex drive is returning to what it was. Maybe I'm remembering the passion I had once and in a way miss it. Not all the other baggage and stuff that went along with it. It's probably entirely unrealistic to expect that kind of passion in one aspect of your life without the fireworks in other areas.

I'll leave that thought hanging for now.

To be continued...