T to the EM to the EYE to the 2zday!

Welcome to TMI Tuesday. Without further fanfare... let's get to it!!

1. Would you stay in a relationship with an physically unfaithful partner?

This was the reason the Ex-Mrs and I split. Back then, I followed the mold when it came to sexuality. Now, I'd be much more open to playing with others as long as there were ground rules.

2. Would you stay in a relationship with an emotionally unfaithful partner?

This was the real issue with the Ex-Mrs. I would not stay with someone who was emotionally unfaithful. The Ex-Mrs wasn't really interested in just having sex. She was lashing out at me, her Dad, who knew who else.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how important is the recognition of birthdays to you (your's, a friend's, a partner's)?

Not at all. I have a thing about getting attention. I don't like it. So I'd just rather skip it. Especially since my 3rd anniversary of an irrelevant birthday is coming up... soon. I try to recognize birthdays for people I care for. But I suck at dates and feel horrible when I miss them, and contrite when I remember them (because I usually have missed others).

4. When you have a "toe-curling" orgasm, do your does curl up, or down?

If you know which way they curl, then I can't see how it was that great. For all I know they make fucking pretzels!!

5. Every one has a pet peeve, tell me one of yours.

At the moment, people turning off the damned coffee machine!! Someone decided the coffee service sucks at work. So they brought in one of those little 1 hitter machines. Except it blows the fuse if you try to run it while the other machine is brewing. So people just turn the other one off... in mid-brew... post brew... whenever it's really convenient for them. Then they don't turn it back on. So the coffee goes tepid. Blech... I'm too cheap to go out and pay $30 for 1 weeks worth of 1 hitters. fuckers.

Bonus (as in optional):Name someone famous who you have no sexual interest in but would have sex with just to brag about it?

Hmm... let's see. I'm a horn dog... so if there's a pulse... I'm interested... Ok let's go with LEAST interested. I guess I could say Britney. But EVERYONE could say that so it's not really bragging. Same with Paris. Charlize Theron is at the top of my list so she doesn't count. I'm still sticking with previous similar answers... Condi Rice... just cause.




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Ladies, if you have been with your man for say... 15... 20 years and one day he says to you "Honey, I'd kinda like to try something... new... different" what would you think? I was having a conversation with Sandy. She was out with a friend shopping and needed to call me back. Later, when she did, she told me she needed to be with the friend because her husband said that and they just KNOW he's cheating.

Personally, I'm thinking "it's this very conversation that makes us not EVER tell you anything!" I mean really! I just know deep in my heart we are so incompatible. For example, her attitude about masturbation and vibrators etc. "Why do you need to?" Same thing with porn. "Why do you need it?" Strip joints... can you guess? She told me about cleaning out the wayward roomate's stuff and finding a bottle of "personal lubricant". Now, I have to agree under these circumstances, Eeew!! However, it started a whole discussion of lubricants. Again, she said "Why do you need it?" I said "You know, sometimes lubrication is just fun". She said "I have sesame oil if XXX (BF) wants to rub my shoulders". I have a feeling the first time we have sex I'll try to flip her for a little doggie style and she'll freak the hell out.

Why am I so attracted to nut cases?

The Mystery Deepens

I'm not sure what the hell to make of the Sandy situation now...

Friday night a bunch of people were to meet at a friends house for dinner. This was the shooting crowd so it included Sandy. Mrs wanted to go and take C too. I was cool with that, but extremely nervous Sandy would slip and say something letting Mrs know I had been over there.

One couple backed out and another was all set to come, but the husband broke his collarbone the night before and they couldn't make it. That just left Charles (the host), Sandy, Mrs, myself, and C. We had a pretty good time. Mrs got a little hammered. We finally left around 11ish (WAY after C's bed time). Sandy managed to not say anything incriminating. Though, she did almost slip up and let the cat out about the broken gun. She's terrified someone will say something to the rightful owner. But she covered quickly. IF Charles picked up on it, he didn't say anything.

My pool team played one of the two tournaments we managed to make it in to. We lost in the last round. Sandy called me while I was driving to the bar saturday afternoon. We chit chatted a little. Then as we were about to hang up she said, "Call me when you're done. You can come over for a glass of wine if you want".

We won that round pretty quickly. The next round wasn't until Sunday morning. A bunch of guys were heading to a bar closer to home to celebrate the win and say goodbye to one of the teammates who is taking another job (and had to leave Sunday). I called Sandy to see what she was up to. It sounded like I woke her up. I told her I didn't mean to wake her up and I'd let her go. She said "I fell asleep on the couch". Then she asked "Well, what are you doing?" I said "Well, I hadn't eaten yet and was calling to see if you wanted to grab a bite, but since I woke you up I don't want to drag you out". She replied "What are you in the mood for?" So I said "Well, I don't really know what's over by you". She said "By ME?!?" I replied "Oh.. you weren't saying you wanted to get something?" Then she rattled off a couple of places. We settled on a Mexican place.

We met at the restaurant and were the only 2 people there. She looked pretty damned good. Clothes, makeup... I mean... DAAAAMN! I ordered drinks for the both of us. While we were looking at the menus I commented as to how good she looked. She said "I smell good too. See" and held her neck for me. I leaned in and did the whole "sniff the perfume letting your nose kinda brush that special spot right below the ear". I pulled away... then I said "that was pretty good... let me smell again" She offered the other side of her neck. Again I did the same thing... long inhale letting my nose just brush slightly against her neck. Not too forward... but definitely with a hint of mischief. The food came quickly.

After I paid, we walked back to our cars. I suggested maybe we could grab a drink somewhere. I expected she would call it a night. Instead, she said "There a bar across the parking lot. We could grab a few drinks there". We hopped in the cars and drove to the other side of the lot.

Inside the bar, I ordered us a couple of drinks. We talked for a while. At one point she asked me how I felt about tattoos on women. I said it depends. She is totally against them. We chatted about a lot of things. Even some sexual preference type stuff. Then we left. She said she was ready for sleep (not bed... sleep). So we parted.

I ended up going to our home bar. I hung out with the going away/celebration briefly. Then wandered to the bar. Sarah was bartending. She flirted pretty seriously. But then said "I have to be careful, Mike might walk in". Mike is the guy who was trash talking. I kinda looked at her. She said "We're sort of dating". I guess his shit talk was for real after all.

Sunday we started the next round at noon. Almost right at noon my phone rang. Sandy. We talked for just a few minutes. She said she might need some help vacating her wayward roomate's stuff.

We won our second round. There was only about an hour between the time we finished and when we were supposed to start the next round. The team went to a restaurant and grabbed a quick bite. The last round ended up starting an hour and a half late. I called her to let her know. She said her stepdad was helping her and not to sweat it.

This morning, I had a ton of work to do. I hit it pretty hard and didn't even think about Sandy. Then my phone rang around 9ish. She sounded pretty stopped up, but I didn't say anything. She told me she had just come from her ENT doctor (she had some sinus surgery a while back). He did some really nasty things to her and she wanted to talk to someone to take her mind off of the after pain. So we chit chatted a little bit.

The competition gun I ordered a couple of weeks ago is ready. My Dad is going to pick it up for me (long story). We have been trying to figure out when and how to meet etc. It looks like I may need to make a road trip this weekend to meet him. It will only be about 2 hours there. So it's not like an overnight trip or anything. So I asked Sandy "So you wanna take a road trip to get my gun?" She said "Sure. When". I told her it would probably be Sunday.. couple of hours there... maybe grab some lunch.. .couple of hours back. Country back roads. It'll be nice. She said "Yeah that sounds like fun".

I have no idea whether or not she will actually go.... hell my Dad is so ADD I don't know if I'LL go then. But we'll see.

So the thing is, I'm still confused as shit. Why would she go to the trouble to make herself up just to come out and meet me Sat night? Especially when she was already asleep. Ok... maybe she wanted help with her roomate's stuff. But then why would she agree to take a road trip?

I wonder if in her mind, she's being "good" by not pursuing a married man. If I made a move would she "be seduced"? If I made a move and was completely rebuffed. Would she quit talking to me?

The mouth says no...

but...

Ok so here's the score on the Sandy front. Saturday we did the shoot in the rain and cold thing (and not the fantasy I would've much rather have done). Sunday I got a call from her. She was in Lowe's looking at a washer/dryer combo. Hers is evidently shredding bras and stuff. I thought I might know what the problem was and I know how much she's hurting for money so I suggest maybe I could fix it. Then she starts asking me to help her with her wireless connection too. This is something we've been working on off and on for the last month or so. Her signal started breaking up and I was only hearing every other word. I told her to call me when she was home and I'd have her check a couple of things with the washer. Then I said I'd have to come by to work on the wireless. She never did call... which was fine because I was obsessing over the gun I bought for Mrs. I got sidetracked doing trigger work and never gave it a second thought.

Sandy called me Monday morning. We chit chatted etc. Then she brought up the washer/dryer and her wireless again. I asked "When do you want me to come over?". She replied "I wanted you to come over last night. But you never called me back. I made us chowder and cookies too". I shot back "I'm sorry I thought you were going to call me. " Then I added "Sweetie if you want me to come over all you have to do is say so". She quickly replied "I always want you over". I said in my best salacious voice "rrRREEAALLY". Then she said "ooh I probably shouldn't have said that". I don't remember what I said next. But she did remind me I'm married. We chatted about other stuff, then the conversation ended.

She called me later Monday night. I had told her Mrs was going out for girls night in the previous conversation as an aside. She was at Wal-mart looking at wireless routers. I helped her pick one. Then she called me later when she got home and tried to set it up. Her provider wasn't giving out DHCP addresses correctly. I told her she would need to call them and tell them X, Y, Z (all the important details).

I called her Tuesday morning to see how it went with the provider. She was pissed. Evidently, they immediately blamed it on the router and forwarded her to the manufacturer. I said "I just need to come over and talk to them myself". We discussed our schedules. Finally I said, I can come over tonight after karate if you don't mind my post-workout stench. We agreed on a time etc.

I went to the early class. Then drove over to her place. I was still wearing my gi and asked if she minded if I changed clothes. She told me I could use her room. I thought it interesting that she offered her room and not the bathroom. I quipped "Hey now I can say I've been naked in your room!" She just giggled. Once I changed my clothes we chit chatted briefly. Then I got my laptop and got to work. In the meantime she started making cookies.

It didn't take me long to get things squared away with the provider. By this time the cookies were ready. She offered me one. I said "That'd be great. I'm starving". She said "do you want me to fix you some soup? It would've been better last night, but you didn't come over". I said "I'm sorry. I really thought you were going to call me. For future reference, if you want something, just ask. If I can't comply, I'll let you know." She cocked her eyebrow at me.

She made me a quick bowl of soup while I worked on getting her laptop (in her bedroom btw) to talk to the new router. Once I got it connected, I started surfing a little. Went to yahoo... then gmail. Checked my account. Showed her the pics of my new gun that the smith sent. I stood up to let her surf a little and eat my soup.

The next thing I knew, she was sending e-mails out to mutual friends on MY contact list from MY account pretending to be me. I yelled "WAIT A MINUTE!!" And tried to pull her away from the key board. Wrestling ensued.. and giggling. A few minutes later she jumped up to run check on the next batch of cookies. She had logged onto her e-mail account. I thought "turnabout..." and started sending e-mails as her. She realized she had left herself logged on (my maniacal laughter might've had something to do with the realization) and came running in. More wrestling and giggling ensued.

That was pretty much it for the night. A lot of laughing. Smack talk etc.

Yesterday she called me around 11 and said "I forgot I changed the locks on the house and the maid service can't get in (the locks are a long story involving an ex-boyfriend and a wayward roomate). I'm already out, so let's do lunch". We met, talked.. laughed.. had a great time.

Let's recap the week. Fri night, drinks, cleaned her gun. Saturday, drove to mid-state city to shoot. Sun called me. Wanted me to come over and I missed that one. Mon called me late when she knew Mrs was out for help over the phone. Tues, went over to help.. changing in her bedroom, wrestling, giggling. Wed we went to lunch.

So here's my question... ladies... Am I just a surrogate husband? Someone who fixes shit? Or is she laying it out there for me to make a move? Is she just coming up with shit to get me over to her house? Or does she really need this stuff done and is using her feminine wiles to get me to do them for her?


EDIT --

I forgot. Her BF called from state far away while I was at her house. She put me on speaker with him at one point because she was giving me a hard time about the borrowed gun breaking. Then they started talking about weekend trips or something. I opted to leave the room and work on the router. Then much later we were talking about schedules for shooting etc. I mentioned the BF. She said "IF we're still together". She has said stuff like that for over 6 months now. So is that for my benefit?

EEtay Emmay Eye... ayy(?) OOsdaytay!

Today we dig deep into the bowels of the pubescent Mr as he examines his budding sexuality and subsequent years of therapy... it's TMI Tuesday time!!

1. What was your favorite book as a kid?

I was a book geek. It's why I have to read a book now to be able to fall asleep. The only book I really remember reading was The Lord of the Rings. I must've read it something like 5 times in Jr. High and High School. I know I'm a geek. That explains why it took so long for me to ever get laid.

2. If you were stranded on that proverbial desert island (again!), what book or books (up to 5) would you want to have with you?

Survival on a Proverbial Desert Island Volume 1
Survival on a Proverbial Desert Island Volume 2
Survival... ah you get the idea

I don't know.. that's hard to say. I guess I would probably go with my old standby of LTR. Give me a couple of Dean Koontz books... may a few non-fiction about WWII or Vietnam.

3. What was the first "naughty" book you read and in what way was it naughty?

Ooohhh.. this is a good one. I can't remember which came first. So I'll list them both. My Dad had a book that could only be described as pure erotica. I couldn't tell you the name. But basically it was about some missionaries who were captured in the african jungle and forced to do all kinds of naughty things. Then second I remember vividly because my Mom totally busted me with it (after the fact... and it was HER book). It was The Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander.

I think both of them are self-explanatory in what way they were naughty.

4. If you were to publish your autobiography today, what would be the title?

Mr and His Penis... hell I don't know. I suck at titles.

5. Would you rather look at nude pictures/pornography or read erotic fiction and why?

Read erotica. Pictures are two dimensional. They can't describe sensations or emotions. With words you get much more intimate details.

Bonus (as in optional):Do you know the whereabouts today of the first person with whom you had sex?

Nope. I wish I did because, like Mrs, she was a real sweet heart. Not a mean bone in her body and while it didn't work out between us, I wish we were still friends.

What to do when it's rain/sleeting

It all started Friday night. We met for a few drinks at a bar not far from her house. She brought along a much older cousin (it's a long story but they rode together to work). We started off having a few beers. Somewhere along the line we ordered appetizers. The cousin's boyfriend showed up making it a foursome. Out of nowhere, she asked "How long does it take for guys to... recover?" The conversation went downhill from there (or uphill from my point of view).

A couple of hours and several drinks went by. She is borrowing a gun (to play in my redneck sport) from a mutual friend who practically invented obsessive compulsive. He has been letting her use it for about a year now. While she is a decent shot, she has no clue how to deal with the minor details of the sport like.. maitenance. The gun has not been cleaned since she's had it. I'm sure if our friend knew this he would faint on the spot. A fact she brought up. I said "Let's go to your place and I'll clean it for you". Tabs were paid... and away we went.... ALL of us.. damnit!

I got to her house, she ordered pizza, I took the gun to her garage. It was probably not a wise idea to handle it after a few beers but I figured it would be better to do it right away so I could have more later. I scrubbed... the pizza showed up... the cousin and BF showed up... damnit!

Not much else can be said about Friday night. We ate.. we drank... we ended up watching this really horrible sci-fi show about vampires. The cousin and BF were REALLY into it... I mean REALLY into it. It was getting late. I was supposed to drive to mid-state city to shoot a match the next day. As I was getting up to leave she said "I suppose you're going to pick me up to go to this match tomorrow since you DID clean my gun..." Who am I to argue with that? I really didn't expect her to actually get up in the morning. The forecast was calling for rain and sleet all day. The only reason I was going to go is because I'm considering upgrading my own gun. One of the guys in mid-state city has one of each of the guns I'm considering and offered to let me shoot them. As much money as these things cost I'm not buying one without a test drive first. I was going anyway. It's only a little bit out of my way to get her. So I agreed.

The forecasters had it right. It was pouring and cold when I left my house at the butt crack of dawn the next day. Her house looked dark when I pulled into the driveway. Hmmm... I guess she backed out. I knocked tentatively. From the back of the house I heard a faint "Come on in". As I closed the door behind me, I could see dim light coming from the bedroom towards the back of the house. "Come on back.. I'm almost ready". Surprised that she seemed to be ready to go, I walked down the hall.

I stopped in the doorway of her bedroom. Evidently she was in the bathroom. I started to make idle chit chat. I stopped in mid-sentence. She stepped from the bathroom wearing a silk, floral print robe... open, and a thong. Walking towards me she said "I don't know what makes you think I'm going outside in this weather. I have a much better idea". I'm sure I looked like a complete idiot standing there slack jawed unable to take my eyes off of her body to look her in the eye.

The spell was broken when she reached up and kissed me. My hands slid inside her robe around her waist. She pressed her body to mine. We kissed deeply. My mind spun into a thousand directions. Was this really happening? I had desperately wanted to do this for so long. We did a kind of slow dance in the general direction of her bed. She has one of those four poster beds you have to climb up to get in. My hands slid to her ass lifting her to the mattress. She let herself fall back. My mouth naturally slid from her mouth to her throat to her chest to her belly, her robe falling completely open revealing her body in the grey light filtering through the curtains. My hands slid to the top of her thighs. Her hands ran to my hair. I kissed my way down her belly to the soft folds of her pussy through the sheer fabric of the thong. Her body quivered. My fingers hooked the thin little band of her thong. I felt a flood of wetness spread through the fabric. I let my tongue slide up her slit to skin just above the waistband. Sliding it over her thighs, I followed the thong with my tongue dipping it into the soft folds of her waiting pussy. From the day I met her I imagined what this moment would be like. She pressed herself upwards to meet my mouth. Almost immediately she began to quiver. The flood of juices from her pussy told me she was close to cumming. I paused for just a moment. She gave a frustrated little "hmph". I slowly slid the thong further down her thighs. Impatiently, she scissored her legs trying to quickly push the thong the rest of the way off. Taking my cue, as soon as the thong fell to the floor I thrust my tongue deep in her soaked pussy. She threw her legs over my shoulders, her hands gripping my hair crushing my mouth against her. I quickly attacked her clit. Her body stiffened, her breath caught in her throat. I feeble cry escaped her lips as she came in a flood of wetness. She continued to shake as the pushed me away. Her hands attacked my clothes. In an awkward flurry of tugging, throwing, hopping on one leg, almost falling my clothes and her robe were tossed haphazardly throughout the room. She scooted further up the bed.. I followed climbing onto the mattress pressing her thighs apart with my hands... my cock slid to her pussy. Her legs wrapped around my waist pulling me inside the incredible softness of her folds. She buried her face into the crook of my neck and almost immediately began to shake. This had been building for so long.. the tension between us.. the teasing.. the flirting.. I pumped my cock with an urgency, as if the moment would end. We fucked desperately afraid it would all slip away at any second. We both came clutching each other's body trying to melt into one another.

The morning disappeared in a blur of fucking, napping, love making, each time a new experience as if we were seeing each other for the first time again and again.

Unfortunately, everything above is true up to the point I stood in her doorway. Much to my disappointment (or rather my fertile imagination's) she appeared from her bathroom fully clothes cursing me for making her go out in the miserable weather. I suggested we could find better things to do. She just giggled and handed me her gun bag.

We drove to mid-state city in the pouring rain. We were the only idiots other than the "staff" who bothered to show up. I told my friend I would be perfectly happy to call it a day. I had another stop I needed to make while I was there. Instead he said "Hell, we're here... we set up... let's burn some powder". And we did.

Sandy walked to the line to shoot the first stage. I said jokingly "You know, I did clean that thing last night. I hope it doesn't come flying apart the first time you pull the trigger". Everything went just fine. I got to try one of my buddy's gun. We moved onto the next stage. Sandy went up to the line to shoot. The timer went off. Bang.. bang... then a collective "STOOOOOPP!!!!" I stood there completely slack jawed as I watched, in slow motion, a piece of the damned gun go flying off. I pictured our friend actually going into arrest if he saw this happening to his gun. Fortunately for me, the part actually broke and was one I had nothing to do with during the cleaning. Sandy on the other hand was shitting bricks because it still broke under her "watch". It should be an easy fix.

We only shot a few stages. I got to try both guns. I was amazed at the difference they make. Afterwards, Sandy and I went to a burger joint to grab a bite. Then we went to the mother of all redneck stores. I think I might've actually walked around with a boner the entire time. And I did purchase something. I bought a gun for Mrs. She really wants to come shoot... or maybe she wants to come out and keep an eye on me... oh yeah and shoot too. Her birthday is coming up. I was going to buy her this particular one for Christmas, but they were out of stock and I didn't make it up to mid-state city and this and that and I just didn't do it. So I decided to get it for her birthday. My reasoning was a) the price there was about 20% lower than anywhere else b) there is a factory rebate PLUS accessories until the end of the month making it almost 35% off. c) I had been saving the money anyway d) my gun buying days are quickly coming to and end... it's now or never.

And just to seal my "gun nut" categorization, I am buying the "upgrade" to my gun. Though, this gun actually costs more than some small cars. I'm not sure "upgrade" counts. I can't believe I'm dropping this much money on the sport. But it's another case of a) things are happening financially making it possible b) they won't happen ever again c) the stars lined up for me d) it really did make a difference saturday. I was right there with the leaders. I was about 1 second off the pace from the leader. Because I was using a borrowed gun and a holster than didn't quite fit right, I was far from aggressive. I'm sure I could've cut that time by a 1/2 second just by being aggressive on the draw. As it was, I was afraid I'd throw the damned thing or drop it. I'm pretty sure I was a good 3 seconds faster than my BEST pace with my current gun.

I spent the rest of the weekend on-line obsessing about both guns. Things I'm going to do to Mrs' to get it "competition ready" before her birthday. Things I need to do for mine. God I'm insane!

de PLANE!!.. de PLAAAAYYYNNNEE!!

Someone I read somewhere sometime mentioned a fantasy discussion. The notion kinda brewed in the back of my head as something to write about. As I have nothing really interesting to write about.. today seems as good as any (dontcha just love the enthusiasm with which I started this post?!).

1. Threesome - yeah duh.. While I kinda did something along these lines in the Dentist Posts, a) there was a dude involved b) while there was a brief mff moment, it was completely unsatisfying as such c) there was a dude d) one of the girls was nuts e) THERE WAS A DUDE!!

2. Go to a sex party/orgy - Lately the thought of a night of complete hedonism has been intriguing. That and I know a couple who have them so it is slightly... oh so slightly in the theoretical realm of possibility.

3. Hook up with a fellow blogger - Oh if geography weren't an issue... sigh.

4. Get a booty call - This one is so simple. but has never actually happened. Just a simple txt message or phone call "I need your cock right now". Use me.. abuse me.. don't even call me in the morning.

5. Visit a pro - Just once. Just cause. I know this will probably cause a collective "blech" amongst some. Whatever.. it's my fantasy. If my pool team makes it to Vegas... I am SO going to the Bunny Ranch or whatever it is in that county.

6. A tee tiny little part of me would want to try a little role play. Nothing like baby diapers or shit like that. Maybe come over to fix someone's computer.. special payment.. Maybe a burglar taking advantage of a helpless... eh you get the idea.

7. Make a video. Only with the stipulation that we watch it after, then burn it. Not that I care who would see it. Just that I would be mortified my pale, pasty, pimply ass would be seen by others (there's a picture hmmm)

TMI

Tuesday. Yup... That's what it is. Too... Much... Information... TEE... EEMM... EYEEE!

1. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?

The Playboy Mansion from The Girls Next Door... duh!

2. If you had a clone, what would you make it do so you could have free time?

Spend time with Mrs so I could cavort about!.. oh and come to work for me so I could cavort about... Go to jury duty for me so I could cavort about... seeing a pattern yet?

3. Who was your best friend when you were 8? When you were 13?

8 - John L... 13 - David S

4. If you could travel anywhere, where would it be & why?

Tonga. Tropical. Remote. What's not to like?

5. Would you hate loosing your sight or hearing most?

I'd hate losing my sight most. There are too many beautiful things in this world to miss (especially C). That and a) I spent a shitload getting lasik b) I could legitimately say "I didn't hear you Mrs" and c) it would save a ton on hearing protection at the gun range.

Bonus (as in optional): Nature or nurture?


Yup. Why it got to be one or the other? I naturally walk around with a boner. But I prefer to be nurtured into one.. or is that the wrong context?

I'd like to thank...

My producers... my director... my penis... W00T!! I got a Piper Award from Piper at Piper's Place now also residing at Babylon Visited with her boyfriend Steve. (Blushing.. grinning... twisting my toe in dirt)... Thanks!

Black Eyed PEEEES in da HAyawse!

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Bun - kO

Last night was one of Mrs nights out with the girls. I spent the evening getting ready for a match tomorrow. Making the necessary supplies etc. One of my buddies gave me one of his old tools to help the process. My tool requires many more steps than his (hehe... TOOOL) and is therefore much MUCH slower. Last night was the first time I tried it out. I'll just say what would normally take several hours only took about 1 leaving me with plenty of free time after C went to bed. I wish I could say I did something really hot.. found some kind of mischief... had really hot discussions with someone via IM.. but we all know I suck at the "online" thing. I didn't even bother to try last night.

Instead, I remembered several bottles of liquor I got for Christmas. I made myself a drink and started flipping between Blazing Saddle's and Men in Black.. neither of which were all that inspiring. I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I've never seen Blazing Saddles. From what I did see... meh... I think it'd be WAY funnier stoned.. or at least more drunk.

I finally crawled into bed around 11:30ish (do I know how to party or what!) and started to read a little. Not 10 seconds after I crawled into bed, Mrs came home. As usual, a little on the tipsy side. Also as usual, really horny. She went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I was just about to nod off so I went ahead and turned out the light. A few seconds later Mrs opened the bathroom door. "uh!! I wanted you to see my nightie!!" she exclaimed. I bought her a nightie for Christmas. It didn't quite fit her in the boob area so she exchanged it. I didn't say anything.

I was waging an internal debate... "I'm horny... but I'm SOOO tired and sleepy..." (see Renee.. this is really what goes on in our heads). The alcohol had me in that drifting oh so comfortably on the edge of sleep state. The debate continued "But sex would be good... but I'm SOOOO sleepy.... but I could use a good blow job... sleepy... horny... sleepy... horny" Picture a white cloud of pillows sitting on one shoulder whispering relaxing thoughts... and a little (or in my mind BIG) penis on the other shouting thoughts of fucking.. slippery parts... moaning...

Mrs settled the debate for me. She climbed in bed, sidled up to me and without warm up or ceremony grabbed my cock. She was a flurry of motion. Her hands flew from my cock to my balls back to my cock in a never ending sensation of rubbing, squeezing, tugging, teasing. She threw back the covers. Her silk nightie slid against my side as she slid her body along mine. She attacked my cock with her mouth. The pillow side of the aforementioned internal debate said "hmm... lay back.. relax... AND get a blowjob".. the penis side simply nodded in agreement.. or maybe it was distracted by what was taking place; the argument long lost to lust.

I suddenly had a desire to taste Mrs pussy. I tried to get her to swing her body around so she was straddling my face. Sadly, I was denied. Instead, she threw her legs over my body and quickly slid herself onto my cock. The pillow whispered "Sit back.. relax... let her ride as much as she wants"... the penis still nodded (or perhaps at this point it was just bouncing along with the bed.. who knows what goes on in the mind of the little shoulder penis). And she did. She rode... and rode... leaning forward using her hips.. sitting up grinding me deeper and deeper... on all fours bouncing up and down... She came once. Then again. After a while she seemed to be tiring. I used the latest trick to get her to cum again. I grabbed her ass and, while sinking my nails into her cheeks, forced her down on my cock. She came again. She leaned back pulling me up to a sitting position while awkwardly springing one leg, then the other from underneath so that she wrapped them around my legs. She held on to my neck and leaned back. I decided to take more control of the situation and rolled her over swinging her from the front to underneath. She tried to fuck me from the bottom fast and furiously. I held her hands over her head forcing her to slow to my pace. I pulled back almost to the point my cock slid out, then plunged slowly until I ground against her clit. I felt her squeeze against my cock. Her body trembled as another orgasm started to build. I pulled back until I almost slipped out. She used her legs to pull me back. We picked up speed her legs driving me faster and faster. I could feel her wetness spread as she got closer to cumming again. Her eyes squeezed shut. She bit her lip and held her breath. Her body shook beneath me. Her head tilted back as the orgasm overwhelmed her body. Watching her cum sent me over the edge. I came as we became a tangle of limbs and sweat and juices.


-------

Whew!

Elsewhere in pluffland. Big shout out to a couple of really smoking babes who have linked back to me. Amorous Rocker and Renee over at Running in Squares. Be sure to check them out in my sidebar. Also be sure to take a peek at Bunny over at Down the Rabbit Hole also in my sidebar.

Today I called the people I was supposed to go to the match with tomorrow. They are all sick and have backed out. So now what to do... what to do... An all day kitchen pass is such a terrible thing to waste!! Sigh...

Sarah never showed up Wed. night at pool. It's not surprising considering the coup her team pulled last week. I shot her a couple of texts seeing how she was doing. Then I asked her if she wanted to go to the mountains. Her response was "I have to think about it". Which in my book, generally means no. But here's hoping for a little mischief next week.

Oh the Power

I had one of man's greatest fantasies in my hands today (sadly not a threesome.. but trust me you will all be able to relate) and instead of acting on it, I took the high road... mostly.

As I was leaving the company from hell, I had fantasies running through my head of ways to fuck them over. Take them down with me so to speak. For example, I knew a group of investors were coming to tour our office my last week there. When I learned of their visit, I knew I was leaving, but I had not given notice. So my fantasy was to wait until the investors were in the office to hand the President my resignation. I don't know if it would've caused any major problems or not. But it was nice to play it out in my head. The group walks in the front door. Idle chit chat, jokes, the usual first few minutes. Right as they are about to get down to brass tacks, I politely interupt and hand the President my letter. She stammers... looks a little flushed. I of course smile smugly. Perhaps the investors sense something isn't quite right and press me for information etc. etc. Come on... you've all fantasized about how to fuck someone somewhere over.

But I didn't follow through because one of my friends continued to work there and really, my beef is with the President, not the company, or my friend(s). Not to mention any legal hot water in which I could've found myself.

Before I went to work for the company, I had been working with someone in my current institution. Technically I shouldn't have supported her. But it's a case of minimal effort for maximum benefit to my department. A little good will so to speak. She started having a lot of personal problems and became more and more scarce. A few days before my last, she returned with more work for me to do. I called her and told her I was leaving any day. We chit chatted about where I was going and the company etc. To my surprise she asked "Are the primary people from the Silicon Valley?" Wow, I was floored. I told her their history. She said "I knew there was a reason this was so familiar. Have you ever heard of XXX" XXX is the State sponsored business development group the company approached for funding in the beginning. While the level of investment was above what they could work with, they DID broker relationships with other venture capital groups. She went on to tell me, one of the reasons she has been so scarce was she accepted a position on XXX's board. Her work with our institution was now part time. She had seen the prospectus on the company. Wow! I was astounded. It just reaffirmed for me, you just never know who you are talking to and should therefore ALWAYS show respect to anyone you meet. I told the people at the new company about our conversation as kind of a heads up that I knew someone there. My intention at the time was if I could help so on and so on.

After I left the company and came back to my old job, I pretty much picked up where I left off with my work with Dr. V. Of course, she was surprised to see me back. We didn't really get into the why's etc.

A few days later, I got an IM from one of the main guys at the company asking who my contact on the board at XXX was. This is where the fantasy hatched. In my head, I saw someone from XXX wanting to tour the office, maybe do some follow up meetings.. Perhaps even my friend Dr. V. The fantasy evolved into Dr. V calling me and asking what happened. Getting and inside scoop on the company and whether or not they should advise their board to invest as well as other outside investors.

Today, the fantasy became reality. Dr. V called and asked me exactly that. I almost shit a brick on the spot. I mean really, how often do you ever have a fantasy become reality EXACTLY as you saw it.

I felt the power course through my veins... I could unleash my anger and frustration and topple them. It was a complete made for TV I'll show them moment. But.... I took the high road. The thought of being in financial ruins because I said the wrong thing, phrased something wrong and it got back to the company popped in my head. I took the high road. Dr. V obviously knew I didn't leave the company on a whim. I don't think she would settle for any BS. I also respect her enough to answer her question in spite of any dangers (as tactfully as I could muster). I simply told her my financial package changed after I got there and I chose to leave for business reasons. I went on to say I firmly believed in what they were accomplishing, that they were doing so in the most professional manner I had seen (which is true). There was no corner cutting (aside from money) in development. They were absolutely not hacking something together. All of their methodologies were grounded in solid software engineering principles and best practice. Most importantly, I firmly believed they would solve one of the toughest problems facing our industry right now. My departure was a business decision based on disagreements financially with 1 person and 1 person only and had nothing to do with whether or not the company would succeed.

a) GOD I really wish I could've fulfilled the fantasy b) GOD I really hope I didn't just fuck myself with what I DID say.

Meh..

Pool night tonight. I guess I'll have a little chit chat with Sarah if she's there and see if she's still up for the trip. All other BS aside it should be a fun time if she wants to go.

Mrs and I are at a "balance" right now. The fight is in the past now. I finally tackled a project I've been putting off since we moved into the house 4 years ago, building some shelves in the garage. Mrs gave me a hand a few times when I ran out of appendages to hold something. We had sex a couple of times too. I wouldn't call it makeup sex. It was good though. The one thing I can say is, sex lately, say over the past 3 or 4 months, has been a little more... intense. I mean it's still the same old formulaic twiddle this... roll over and do that... roll over again.. and done we've always had. But there seems to be a little more... fire.

Anyway, here is another picture from the vacation. Ah to be a seal. ARH!!

2fer Toooosday

Yes ladies and gentlemen... it's that 3rd day of the week (if you count Sun as 1). And today it gets combined into TWO posts. Touch me. Special.

First off... TEEEEE EEEEMMM EEEEYE tttaaaaAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOossssssddaaaaay!


1) Do you have/ever had any dating or sex superstitions? (Wear 'lucky jeans' on first date, always light a vanilla candle, etc.) If so, what are they?

Uh... no. My goal is always to GET lucky. Maybe I should get something to give me "luck" to get lucky since my luck isn't working so good now. Maybe a lucky club! (I kid)

2) If you were stranded on the old deserted island, and a genie appeared who could only grant you one wish -- to bring one of the following people to join you, who would it be?

- your spouse/significant other
- an unrequited love or some person you've had a crush on
- an old/past love
- your best friend

I would guess an unrequited love. Perhaps Sandy.

3) Tell us "weather or not" you're in the mood -- how does rain, snow, sleet, scorching heat, sweltering humidity etc. affect your libido.


Hmmm... let's see:

Sunny - in the mood
Rain - in the mood
Snow - in the mood
Sleet - in the mood
Scorching heat - in the mood
Sweltering humidity - wait for it... in the mood.

4) Are you a crying drunk, an angry drunk, a 'I'm drunk, let's screw' sort of a drinker? (And, if you do not drink -- which one of those things is the reason?)


I'd like to think I'm a happy drunk. Depending on who you ask I'm probably the "I'm drunk, let's screw guy". I know I get more bold about it when I'm drunk.

5) Who turns you on the most & why:

the activist
the author
the care-giver/healer (nurse, doctor, masseuse, herbalist, chiropractor etc.)
the comedian
the educator (professor, teacher, mentor etc.)
the model
the musician
the politician
the scientist

Wow, this is a tough one. Not the activist because it get's old quick and they tend to take it personally if you don't agree. I'd lump politicians into a similar group. Models tend to have WAY too much baggage. Authors... comedians.. musicians... scientists... all seem ok. But my experiences with nurses... at least the ones I've been around... oh yeah. I'd say Nurses.

Bonus (as in optional): Looking back, what's the one thing you've done which was supposed to be erotic, but didn't quite work out?

Wow.. this is a tough one. I can't really think of anything. I guess when I finally got to play with some toys it was sort of like "meh". But I quickly moved on.




Some interesting things came up in pool last week. I've been mulling them over before I mentioned them here.

Last week was the first week in the new session. This is the time where people start to shift around on teams etc. Everything is pretty much the same on my team. Nothing major... yet.

However, there was major drama on Sarah's team. This is the team I was supposed to play for last session. But she chose to get back with her little dickhead boyfriend who pitched a fit because I was on the team. I never even shot 1 ball on that team. Afterwards, every person on that team aside from Sarah and Dickhead came up to me and told me it was a shit deal. A few of them told me they were going to play out the session and quit.

I guess enough of them talked that this session, rather than quit, they basically voted Sarah out. Or rather, told her if she was Captain of the team they all walk. Which REALLY upset her. There was much crying, bitching, storming around.

I won't say it was because of me the whole thing went down. I think I was the beginning of the end. Sarah can be extremely emotional about things. If someone calls her on a rule or if there is an argument about a shot, she gets very upset and cries. I think it was all way too much drama for the team. Oh... and evidently Dickhead made an ass of himself a lot.

That was the first Sarah tidbit. The 2nd really involves me. As I've said I've kinda toyed with her a little bit. I know I could most likely fuck her. I've come close a few times. I'm torn about the whole thing because a) she would definitely meet my mischief criteria but b) she has disaster written all over her. I could see things with her getting really messy.. and not fun at all.

So Wed night, while all the drama was going on, I would occasionally talk to her. Pat her on the back etc. All while going past her to the bar or bathroom. About 1/2 way through the night, she came up and started talking in my general direction. There was another guy on my team, Mike, who was standing right there.

A quick background on Mike. He's huge. Perhaps even bigger than Chester. And he's a shit talked too (how do I find these guys). I couldn't believe I didn't mention this, I even looked through the archives to reference him... but evidently, Mike fucked Taylor. And this is how Mike has started to become the new Chester in my life. He started telling me all this nasty shit about Taylor. At that point, things were done with her so I breathed a big sigh of relief. Mike never knew how close I came... or at least tried to come to fucking her.

So back to Sarah. Sarah starts in again about "Why did they do this to me" blah blah. At which point Mike puts his arm around her. I thought "Hmmm that's weird". Mike has no idea Sarah and I have fooled around and tip toed around getting together. Sarah walked away. He turned to me and said "Sorry about that. She just got dumped by her team" like I have no idea who she is. I just went along with it because discretion is key to mischief for me. Then he said "That girl is a faREAK! Man!! She was my date on New Years. She takes it in the ass, pussy, and mouth!!"

I have to say I was completely stunned. I mean, she's single. I'm married. She knows it's just fun for me. I know she's going to do what she's going to do. But to hear it from a guy like that in such a crude way... On one hand, I should breath a sigh of relief and just have some fun. She's clearly ok with having fun too. On the other, I'm not sure I'm cool with listening to him run his mouth.

After all of our matches were finished, she came over and sat next to me. Mike left long before. We talked about the whole deal with her team. Every time she would start talking she would get more and more worked up. A few times she tried to lean in and kiss me. I was pretty conflicted at the core so I simply turned my cheek and let her kiss me on the cheek every time. But even more so, I can't be kissing her right there in the bar.

So now my problem has changed. I was/am supposed to take Sarah to the mountains. I guess that's still on the table. She clearly is ok with fooling around with me AND Mike. And for the most part, I'm ok with that. After all, for me it's all about fun. If she wants to go away for the weekend and have a lot of sex and leave it at that, then that's cool with me. That Mike is in the picture is almost an affirmation she would leave things at just fun.

On the other hand, Mike running his mouth is a big problem for me. I want to grab him, shake him and say... "Dude.. you're not the only dick in this pond... Think about that before you start running your mouth". But then that would tip him into the fact that I'm out there. Which leads me back to discretion being the key to mischief.

I may or may not see Sarah tomorrow night. I guess it all depends on what happens with her team. I know she has an offer to play on a team on another night. The question is, IF I see her, do I try to make plans for the mountains or not?

"I just wanna SHAKE THE SHIITTT OUTTA HER"

A loose Chris Rock quote. "I won't hit a woman. I WILL NOT hit a woman... but I will SHAKE THE SHIT OUT OF ONE!!!"

I played redneck games Saturday. I had an ok day. Finished 11 out of 30 overall. Not too bad considering I was using a newish toy which was, as yet, untested.

Somewhere about 1/2 way through the day, I looked at my phone. 3 missed calls. ALL of them from Mrs. She told me the day before she and C may come out and watched. I saw the calls and was instantly perturbed. Fortunately, I had the forethought to silence my phone. This sport is kinda like golf. Very internal. Requires a lot of focus. The phone ringing or vibrating is very annoying not just to you, but people around you as well.

I could see Mrs at home. For one reason or another she decided not to come out. But her insecurities started building. She knew Sandy would most likely be there. I envisioned it eating at her.

After the match was over. I immediately began to help tear down. I felt my phone buzz. Mrs again. 5 minutes later. Bzzzz.. again Mrs. I ignored her. All the way home (20 minutes)... bzzzz... bzzzz... bzzzz. I counted 15 calls by the time I walked in the front door. Immediately, she said "Why didn't you answer me?!". I said "Because I was SHOOTING.. duh". Then it started. We went into full on fight mode. Screaming... throwing stuff.

Somewhere in the middle of the fight I realized that while a) I was right in that it is really inappropriate for her to call me over and over b) she probably WAS expressing her insecurities in this way and c) was I really fighting over all of this? Or because she was intruding in to "me" time. And to put a finer point on it, my time away from her.

I've said it here many many times and I'll say it again. I love my wife. I love her because she's the mother of my child... and a good person. But more and more I realize I just don't feel the romantic kind of love she deserves. And really, I think that's what this fight was all about. I wanted to be out running around doing my thing on my own and she was interfering with that. It made me realize, I don't know how long I can go on. I don't want to leave her because I'm committed to being with C for better or for worse. But at some point, Mrs is going to realize things aren't all honky dory with us. I feel like a fraud and a phony all the time.

The rest of the weekend we spent tip toeing around each other. We took down the christmas tree in mostly silence. Once the tree was down, I tried to retreat to the bed room. She followed me. We fought some more.. except this time without the screaming. I'm not really sure we resolved anything. She wanted to move on and put it behind us. I was fine with that... but I couldn't bring myself to be all chipper and bouncy. She accused me of holding on to the issue.

How can I explain to her, it's not that I'm holding on to THE issue, I'm realizing how hard it is becoming to pretend to be June and Ward.

She really doesn't deserve this.

Happy F'in New Year!!

Happy New Year Motherfuckers!!! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!

The fam had a whirlwind holiday tour. It started Christmas day. Poor little C got to play with her toys for about 2 hours before we all piled into my truck and traipsed to Big Southern City (5 hours away) to stay with my Mom. The visit with Mom was shortlived as we had to get up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the airport in order to traipse cross country to the West Coast to visit my sister and her brood. Then, we took a red eye back from her town to Big Southern City getting in even earlier in the ass crack of morn on New Year's Eve. We finally made it back to Plufftown around 8pm last night. And I'm fucking whipped!

Anyway, a good time was had by all. C got to visit with her cousins (we haven't seen them in about a year and a half). The kids were crazy manic the whole time. Did a little sight seeing. I'll be posting some pictures over the next few weeks.

I'm supposed to go to the mountains in a week or two and maybe take Sarah with me. I'm still debating the wisdom of it all. On one hand I'm so ready for a good old fashioned weekend of fucking.. on the other, could she handle it. Hmmm... Anyway, tonight will be the first night of the new session at pool. Will she be there? I wonder what will happen... more Hmmm...