Well Hellooo there

Hmmm... do I detect a bit of mischief on the horizon? There is a certain fiesty redhead who is getting chummy. I'm picking up vibes. Could be? Maybe?

I met her a couple of years ago. She was dating a friend. They have since broken up. We are friends on FB and now Google+. We also participate in a geek chat channel local to our institution. Most of the time the conversation involves the best type of tape to repair our horned rims. But every once in a while it gets more personal.

She has mentioned in the past she segregates her contacts on FB and Google+ into "vanilla" and "non-vanilla". I've noticed her posts have taken on a distinctive edge of sexuality as well as an anything goes attitude. Maybe I've been moved from the "vanilla" group. I have to say I'm completely intrigued.

We've had a running dialog about how we need to open a beer and doughnut shop around here. We've even gone so far as to discuss the types of beer and doughnuts we would have. I.e. a nice dark Guiness with a Chocolate and Bacon doughnut etc. etc.

Last week she posted in the chat room how she was having an awful day and needed a hug. Of course every one chimed in with hug tags. The next day I made my weekly reward trip to Starbucks (If I worked out every day and maintained weight). They have these awesome cake doughnuts. So I picked up 2. When she popped up on the chat room I opened a private chat and asked which building she worked in. When she replied, I said "meet me out front in 5 min".

While walking to her building she posted on her wall "An adventure is happening right now". I walked up, handed her the Starbucks bag and said "Have a better day today". I'm sure a doughnut was a disappointing conclusion to an adventure. But "adventure" is the word she used. What was she thinking before?

Eh if nothing else this should be good fodder for my overactive imagination. Maybe some good dream and wanking material.

And in the blink of an eye

I knew it was coming. I was surprised by my reaction. We filled Manager's position. The announcement came 5 minutes ago.

I'm completely happy with the new Manager. I've known him for years. He has worked his way up through the ranks and has always been a solid guy.

It has been some time since I have had strong emotions. Sure an e-mail here or there caused me to stop for a moment. For the most part I've been ok.

But for a second, hell even now, I'm feeling pretty emotional about it. In many ways this is the last step to letting go. The empty chair was in many ways comforting. That we/me are holding on to the last bit of Manager.

His boss moved forward with replacing him with almost ruthless efficiency. Many people have remarked about his emotionless, cold, business like demeanor within hours of hearing of his death. That aside, this is a necessary step. It isn't at all unexpected. What is unexpected, is my reaction. For the first time in at least a couple of months, I'm tearing up.

Where is Tattoo when you need him?

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When did I become the adult??

Had a meh kinda weekend. It was un-fucking-believably hot. I set up for our monthly match Friday afternoon. We had a couple of rain sprinkles but the humidity was oppressive. Then I shot the match saturday. What a clusterfuck that turned out to be. First, it was hot (have I already said it was hot??). The sun was like standing in an oven. Intense waves of heat.

Then, I forgot my gun. That set the tone for the whole day. Fortunately, my buddy lent me one of his. My stress was already starting to rise.

We shot the first stage. I wasn't used to the gun at all. I pushed a little too hard and took a miss on a target. The next stage wasn't much better. Again, I pushed too hard and yanked a shot into a penalty target. Finally started getting my shit together for the next stage. I ran it in a smoking time and clean.

Then we got to the 4th. We have a handicapping system. There are a set of standardized stages. They have to be set up the same way every time and measured precisely. This particular stage has bitten me in the past. I actually practiced quite a lot all week for this. Things were going well until we had to do a piece strong hand only. Drew the gun, was coming up on target, prepped the trigger and BANG! before I was ready.

This is what we call an accidental discharge. Typically, someone has their finger in the trigger at an inappropriate moment and they touch one off no where near a target. For example, another person had an AD saturday while he was unloading his gun. He had his finger in the trigger and shot the ground about 10 feet in front of him. Obviously an accident and an obvious safety violation.

I was prepping the trigger. So I know I was close to the target. But for the life of me I couldn't tell you where the shot went. Everyone told me it was only a few feet off target. If it were anyone else, I don't know that I would've called it an AD. But *I* know it was an AD. *I'M* in charge of this match. So I can't in good conscious let it go even if no one else noticed that it scared the shit out of me when it went bang. I stopped myself and issued myself a Disqualification.

However, my day wasn't done. I still had to run the rest of the match and tear it all down. Of course, as I was leaving, the clouds started to roll in and the temperature dropped. Not 5 minutes after pulling out of the range it started pouring. I'm not sure how I would've felt about rain at the match had the timing been different. I mean, no sun and it was cool. But it was pouring... hmmm.. tough one.

Yesterday I decided to tackle some yardwork I had been putting off. I was hoping this heat wave would break and I could do it in more comfortable temperatures. But I had some shrubs that were just about to get completely out of control. It was another 100+ day. I ended up working in 15 minute spurts. Trim a couple of boxwoods. Go inside. Trim 1/2 of the holly bushes. Go inside. Etc. etc.

During one of the breaks my Sister called. Quick background, I have 1 "full" sister 8 years younger than me. Then my Dad remarried and had a kid so I have a 1/2 brother about 17 years younger. My Mom remarried a couple of years later and had a kid as well, 1/2 sister. I don't really call them "1/2s". I'm much closer to my youngest sister only because my Mom has lived within visiting distance. My Dad lives in South Florida and we just don't see each other nearly as often as I see my Mom.

Evidently, my sister (closest to me in age) was talking to the baby Sis. She said my Mom and Step-father have been really having some knock down arguments lately. My Mom was a cougar before "cougar" was sheik. My Step-father is only 7 years older than me. My Mom is about 12 years older than he is. She is in her early 60's whereas he just turned 50. This is important because, evidently, he is becoming much more aggressive when they argue.

My Mom and Step-father have been married for 23 years. I was 20 when they got married, so they have been together for 1/2 my life. In all that time, my SD always struck me as a big kid. In many ways very immature. He is very smart from an intellectual perspective. But he just always seems to be this really big kid at heart. In many ways annoyingly so.

For as long as I can remember, my Mom has been bi-polar. It took me until I was in my 30s to finally recognize that's what it was. Until then I just knew she had a hair trigger. When she married SD, he sort of became the target of the rage side of her personality. In many ways, he was another one of the kids. Where I always used to have to tip-toe around my Mom not knowing what would set her off, once they married, it seemed like it was SD who was always setting her off.

On one hand I think it's finally about time he grew up, manned up, and held his own. He may be immature and annoying, but he deserves respect as any husband should. On the other, she's my Mom and no matter what, she's family and he's simply not. My youngest sis told the other she is worried about my Mom's safety. That she is afraid it will get physical.

I'm not sure what I should do about it. He's big. Like 6'4 250. He works out but I think it's more for show than an actual workout. My Mom is 5'2 at best and 62 years old. I hate to start thinking of my parents as "elderly", but she's starting to get into the frail years where he isn't.

For the most part, I should let them work it out. I mean, it's their life. Maybe they aren't meant for each other. Maybe he is ready for a younger less bi-polar, more geeky and kid-like model. It sucks but it happens. But hit my Mom...

If I say anything to him, would I add fuel to any fire? I know a lot of guys (not intelligent) who would take that as a challenge to their domestic sovereignty and do something out of spite. I don't see him as the type. But I know he has to be feeling pressure. My memories when I was a kid were of constant fear. Is he ready to snap? Could he finally have all he could take and me telling him if he lays a hand on my Mom... well... could that conversation cause the snap?

My sister (oldest) isn't exactly the model of stability. I talked about her relationship with her husband a couple of years ago. They had their own little incident where I thought we might actually come to blows and possibly have an actual self-defense gun incident. Do I take her side of the story at face value? All parties involved now were present that night and fully aware of how fragile the situation was. Is she relaying this information expecting me to be the adult again and step in?

Ramble and Babble

I'm in a really pissy mood today. Long story but it is because of "club politics". Anyone who has ever belonged to a "club" knows what I'm talking about. You get one person who only has power while in the club making drama. 'Nuff said... moving on... or rather rambling on..

It has been a while since the old Pluffster has peeked his porcine head out and oinked. Allow me to resolve this deficiency.

For almost a year I have been participating in an exercise class at my gym. I've gone through different types of physical activity to try to get in shape and stave off middle age as long as possible. It started with Karate (or rather I picked it back up) a few years ago. Right up until I broke my elbow.

Then I switched to cross-fit. For those who aren't familiar, cross-fit is a pretty extreme workout. It's a mix of weight, aerobic, core, gymnastics. You go from doing a simple 7 rep, max weight (280lb for me) deadlift one day, to 100 each of pullups, pushups, situps, and squats the next. To 21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3 of alternating 95 lb "thrusters" and wall balls yet another day. It was a great workout. But at my age, with the extreme weights the workouts called for you have to have perfect form or you will get hurt. Which is what happened. I was doing 150lb cleans, got a little out of shape at the "catch" and really screwed up my shoulder and wrist trying to save it. One of the benefits of this type of exercise (at least as touted) is the simplicity of equipment and that you can do it anywhere. Soldiers do this workout on deployment with gas cans for weights etc. I did this at home. Without a weight "floor" etc. you really don't want to dump the weights when you get in trouble.

So I joined the local gym and started taking an exercise band class. It is led by former NFL players. The workout reminds me a lot of cross-fit, but without the extreme weights. The bands are much easier on my aging joints and I don't have to worry about dropping the weights.

The class is very popular. Especially with the ladies. And yes, I am that perv staring at the perky asses during class. And OH the perky asses! There's College Student Sarah. Cute as a button. Sweet as hell. Very much the younger sister type. Tiffany, doe eyed, SMOKIN body who sadly has moved away. Her friend Jenny, former gymnast, beautiful dark hair, unbelievable tight body, but with a bitchy attitude and serious OCD. Ari, exotic indian (dot not feather) with the sexiest eyes and attitude. I could go on and on. They're EVERYWHERE and holy shit hot in their workout shorts, yoga pants, sports bras .

There is a spitting image of Sandy in the class. Seriously, they could be sisters. Same facial structure. Blond. Petite. I'll have to call her Sandy2 as I don't know her name. Sandy2 is a much younger and better version of Sandy-1.0. The class usually splits up into groups of people at "stations". My group was behind hers. At one point we were doing sprints back and forth across the gym while her group was doing pushups or walkouts or something with a plank position. The way the groups were oriented I was sprinting right up to her every time I went in one direction. All I could do was stare unabashedly at her ass and think about what it would be like to slide up behind her, run my hands across her perfect ass while she buried her face in a pillow moaning as I slid inside... DAMN!

4 days a week?? Hell yeah. 5? 6? 7? If only. I'd be in the best damn shape of my life.

Abe's Law

"Better to be remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt" -- Abraham Lincoln

More and more lately this quote rules my life. To the point of acute shyness. I don't know when it happened. Some time in the last 2 years I think.

I can't exactly put my finger on it. There are moments when I know why I keep my mouth shut. For instance, I have been reluctant to talk about my redneck sport since the incident. But deep down I know why, in this instance, I shy away from talking about it. Right now I'm only comfortable with people I know and have shot with. I knew Manager, but honestly I have no idea what his skill level was. If I had been there with him that day, would it have changed anything? Maybe, maybe not. But if not, I would have been faced with the horror of watching him die. This something I have to work through and I understand that. I get why I'm reticent when it comes to this aspect now.

Other aspect of my life such as work, social, hell even here and on the twitters it seems like I've lost my swagger.

I read a lot of blogs. Look at my sidebar. I visit each one of those blogs once a day. I finally got around to joining twitter and I'm following a few people. But I just seem to come up blank with actual interaction. I start to write something and think... eh.. what's the point. Nothing I'm about to write is "worthy" of expending bits. And, I don't really know any of the people I'm following. What the hell can this stranger out of the blue say? Better to lurk and be thought a creep than to post and remove all doubt.

Anyway... I don't have an answer. Only babbling. For anyone who stumbles through here, I am truly interested in your blog, tweets, rants, and life. One day I'll get my swagger back, man up, grow a set, and say hi.

Cut a bitch

Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive. You go to a social gathering. You have known most of the people for years. Perhaps even intimately. Does that make it ok for a man to horseplay in a physical manner with another man's wife??

Saturday ended up being a very weird day. Mrs and C were going to meet "the girls" at the beach for a day of sun. C was going to go home with another little girl and spend the night. At the last minute one of the wimens suggested they go to her in-law's pool instead. Initially, I was under the impression it was a girls only thing.

I ran some errands. Mrs and C left for the pool. Around 2pm I got a txt that there were other husbands there and I should come out. So I put on my swim suit and trekked over. There were 6 wimen, a bunch of kids (mix of boys and girls), the "host" husband and one other husband, Max.

It was really sunny and unbelievably hot. Not wanting to make the same mistake from Daddy Camp I started spraying sunscreen. Mrs got out of the pool and started walking my way to help me out with my back. As she was passing Max, he reached out with his foot and gave a shove as if to shove her in the pool. The direction she was walking, had she gone in the pool, there was a good chance her momentum would've sent her into the wall/side at the end of the pool. As it was, she yelped and did a little hop over the corner.

It seems a little ballsy to me to be that touchy in that kind of environment. First, you don't touch another man's wife (at least not without permission and this ain't that kind of crowd). I have been intimate with 1 other person from that group. But that was then. I have no idea if she ever told her, now, husband we used to date. He came along shortly after the last time she and I hooked up. I don't think he would have much of a sense of humor about it. Hell, Max's wife and I flirted and danced around dating before they were married. Things just never worked out and we never did go out. I would never touch any of these women out of respect for their husbands. Same with their kids. I won't even horseplay with them without permission. And you damn sure don't do something stupid that could get them hurt.

We exchanged some words... an uncomfortable moment of stare downs... chest puffing all that redneck shit. I went over to another part of the pool to cool down. The moment passed. It was all good in the end.

Now I feel kinda bad. Mrs was standing in front of me the whole time saying "let it go.. let it go". I wasn't drinking and refused to drink after (he was pretty hammered). I didn't want my judgement impaired in any way and I just didn't think it could end well for me to get hammered. So it wasn't a case of alcohol bravado. But.. yet another case of temper getting to me. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive but I kinda feel like I made an ass of myself.

Then again... maybe he should've just kept his hands to his fucking self.