I'm addicted. There's no tip toeing around it. No denials. Just quiet resolution. I can't stop playing Madden NFL 2005.

Mrs. got me an Xbox for Christmas. Like I said before. I'm a geek, but I don't do typically geek things. Gaming is one of them. I played Doom back when it first game out until I beat it. I haven't gamed since. I just sort of... lost interest after that.

But with the new Xbox... I've been sucked in. It has all of the "cool factors" for me. I can hook it up to the home theater system and play it on my 55" big screen. I went out and braved the after Christmas shopping crowds to purchase the High Def AV Pack for it. Now I'm playing Madden NFL at 480p (the system is capable of 1080i) with full surround sound. The Xbox is even capable of decoding DTS (my favorite). I'm probably going to go out and find a game in 1080i with DTS just for the sake of having it whether I like the game or not.

And lastly, I LOVE football. I didn't get to watch much of it because I had DirectTv w/o local channels. Right before Christmast I switched to DishNet with locals and High Def. Ahhh.... Finally FOOTBALL!!! THEN.... just when the season is winding down into playoffs... I CAN PLAY FOOTBALL YEAR ROUND WITH MADDEN!!!!

I'm feeling my palms grow sweaty, my eyes glancing longingly towards the TV room. To hell with my 3 yr old who I'm watching by myself today... she can entertain herself... yeah.. she's old enough to cook her own lunch... yeah....

AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Happy Holidays to all!!

I'm off for the next two weeks. My family will be coming to Pluff town for Christmas weekend. Then I travel to fish with my Dad over New Years. Blogging will be sporadic at best.

If you've been good, I hope Santa will bring you what you want. If you've been naughty... well... could switches be considered a bad thing?

I'm most likely falling on the naughty side. I don't see me getting what I want for Christmas (a threesome with 2 beautiful blonds). Sigh.. Then again, my Christmas wish could be what put me in the naughty category.

So much for posting the followup Monday.

Friday, the boss decided it was a good day for a happy hour. We all left work around 3:00. It was a beautiful warm sunny day. The bar is downtown near a small college and has a patio. A perfect place for us pervs to ogle the young college girls.

WB (girl from work) decided to join us. Usually, the conversation is pretty raunchy. It gets louder and louder the more we drink. With WB there, we tried to watch ourselves. It lasted all of 20 minutes. As usual, we ogled young women, made crude comments. We always have a habit of saying things subtly. Then someone, usually one of the Cs will take us right off the cliff of good taste.

Around 5ish our group started to thin out. WB was meeting a group of her friends at the same bar to celebrate a birthday. A few minutes after the first couple of people left our group, a friend of WB joined us. Her name is "Heather" (I'm starting to tire of keeping the initials straight. We'll see how pseudonyms work). Heather is a geek too. She works for an alcohol distributor as a system administrator. It didn't take her too long to fit right in.

Another hour went by. The rest of the group got up to leave. WB and Heather asked if I wanted to meet her friends. I've always been curious as to WB's orientation. She has always talked about boyfriends etc. Her demeanor is a tiny bit on the butch side. I met some of her friends a few years ago and they seemed a little... alternate. Most people in my office think she's gay. I lean a bit towards bi. Her friends are way more... butch than WB. So I was curious to see if I'd learn anything new.

WB introduced me around the group. There were about 8 more women (than WB and Heather). The group had 2 of everyone. 2 Heathers, 2 WBs, 2 Nicoles, even 2 Mr.s (except one was female and spelled her name accordingly). WB had her arm around my waist as she introduced me to everyone. I guess it doesn't take much anymore. I have to say I liked it.

We got to one of the Nicole's. She stood out from the group. She was tall with a beautiful face and very dark hair. It may have been dyed. She had a tiny mod/retro vibe that's popular on the west coast. She wore hip hugger jeans and a simple white belly shirt. I think she may have had a piercing or two on her face. Nothing that jumped out as scary. Maybe one on her eyebrow. She had a very nice figure. I.e. tall but well proportioned.

I chatted with her for a while. She's getting married in the spring and moving to the Bahamas. The classic male dog in me thought to myself "hmm... if she has any tendencies for women she at least goes both ways" while I did a fast calculation of my odds. What can I say. I'm a guy. I'm a dog. Anyway, I went around the group and chatted with some more of WBs friends. The whole time my eyes kept wandering back to Nicole.

In the past, WB and I had extensive political arguments. She's liberal. I'm conservative. At one point in the evening she pulled me over to Heather and said "You know, Heather taught me all I know about politics. Mr is a republican". To which I quickly corrected her "I'm a conservative. TRUE conservative. Not the religious right wing that people associate with republicans". Heather immediately went off on me. She said "Ok... let me just say... I'm a lesbian" HULLooo!! I had strong suspicians about WBs friends when I met them years ago. This wasn't a shocker. Just the bold announcement. She went on to say anyone who voted for Bush is a anti-gay religious freak. I've railed about this in the past. I really didn't want to get into another political argument. So I raised my hands and said "I'm not going to argue... I'm not going to argue". Heather pressed on "You don't understand!! blah blah blah. As I've stated in the past, I don't care. I have my issues. I voted the way I did because I thought Kerry was a poll politician as was Clinton. I believed he didn't have any convictions. But those were on MY issues. I have complete respect for gays in America because I think they are persecuted. They are becoming the civil rights movement of the 2000s. As a true conservative, I don't care what you do in the bedroom. Get married. As long as it doesn't have a negative impact on me or others, do whatever the hell you want. So if offended me that she assigned me this right wing ultra religious stereotype. I tried, passively I might add, to tell her that a significat portion of people who voted for Bush, or against Kerry, do NOT have the super religious values the left thinks we do. Sure there's a lot that do. But percentage wise, if the slight right were to be alienated by the ultra right, the vote would go the other way. It's enough that neither side can ignore us. She didn't believe me and pressed on. I didn't see the conversation going anywhere positive. I was offended by the comments (only because of the prejudice) but I held my tongue and continued to put my hands up and say "I'm not arguing". At one point WB jumped in between us like a referee does in a boxing match.

Two things happened during the exchange. WB, stood next to me with her hands on me long after Heather broke off the argument. Again, it doesn't take much. The other thing, the Birthday girl had made her way over to tall Nicole. Nicole was leaning back against the bar with her elbows resting on the bar top. The birthday girl was standing with her hands firmly grasping Nicole's ass. The way Nicole was leaning back, they were pelvis to pelvis. The birthday girl would say something to one of the other people in the group and laugh. As she laughed she would lower her head so that it was resting on Nicole's tits. Nicole never changed position. She leaned back with her elbows on the bar, one foot propped up behind her on the foot rail in a very relaxed way. Heather noticed me watching this. I'm sure I was in full on gawk mode. A little beer. A straight swinger wannabee redneck boy. Oh yeah... it was a gawk. Heather said "This crowd gets wild with some beer in them". I stammered something about being a sheltered male watching a fantasy play out. She said "You know, I find gay porn (men) to be extremely hot". I think she went on to say something to the effect of "When I get bored there's nothing hotter than popping in a video". At this point I wasn't sure whether Heather was really trying to have a conversation or trying to shock me. The latter wasn't working. Little does she know of my alter cyber ego. I just got mental images of her on her couch in front of the big screen with a vibrator sounding like a chain saw and two "repairmen" on the screen. Is there a fetish in that? A straight guy watching a lesbian masturbate to gay porn....

Not long after this conversation, the group began the long process of mobilizing to go to another bar. There's the inverse law of mobility. The larger the crowd, the longer it takes to move it. WB and I were having a conversation off to the side. She was pretty close. Inside my personal space but not... in my face. It was borderline as to whether there was any sexual tension there or not. The group invited me to go along to whatever destination they decided on. At that point I looked at my watch and realized it was 10:00. I had spent 7 HOURS at Happy Hour. Sadly I had to peel out of there. WB gave me a hug. As she pulled away she left her arm around my waist and let her hand drop down to my hip. Heather came over and gave me a hug and said I was a "good sport". I'm not sure if she was talking about the political argument or the gay porn thing. Either way, it didn't matter to me. I had fun.

Wed. night pool should get really interesting.

I haven't really mentioned sex with Mrs lately. I only tend to write about things that are on my mind whenever I log in to blog. Frankly, it's been so unfulfilling and not memorable it's out of my mind by the time I sit down to blog. The most disturbing trend I've seen with our sex life lately has been the complete lack of interest in foreplay on Mrs part. I think ever since I bought her that damned vibrator she just isn't into anything else. We have sex and either she fakes orgasms really well or she really does have them. It's not like I push her to have sex either. She usually instigates because I've felt like she's just not into it. I have a hard time getting motivated to initiate if I feel like she's just doing some "duty".

The last time we had sex, she came home from a girls night out. She was a little drunk. Alcohol always puts her in the mood. I was sitting on the couch watching TV when she got home. She walked over, pushed my knees apart, knelt between them and rested her head on my stomach. After a few seconds she snaked each hand up my shorts leg and began to lightly stroke my balls and cock. She did this for a while, then unzipped my shorts and took me in her mouth. After a few minutes of teasing, she started really working my cock. I thought for a few seconds she was going to give me a complete blowjob. After a few minutes, she stopped and pulled me onto the floor on top of her. I started taking her clothes off. While I was pulling her pants and panties off, I started kissing her stomach and down her thighs following the fabric of her panties. When they were off, I started back up her legs. I reached her pussy and started to use my tongue lightly. She reached down to pull me up. I persisted and continued to lick and play. She just layed there. It used to be she would immediately get soaking wet when I started to play with her like this. It's one of my favorite things to do too. I really enjoy making her cum several times with my tongue. I tried speeding up, slowing down. Fucking her with my tongue. Just playing with her clit. Light. Hard. Fast. Slow. Nothing. It kinda pissed me off. After a few minutes she grabbed my head and pulled me up. I was tired of trying so I let her. Almost as soon as I entered her she started bucking, gasping, clawing. I just held steady and didn't move. When she started to settle down I started moving very slowly. She started bucking and clawing again. I moved at an excrutiatingly slow pace. She cried out and buried her head in my chest. I started moving faster. She used her legs on my ass to drive me deeper. She came again as I did. I guess it was satisfying for her. If not she faked it not once, but 3 times. I really miss being able to play for a while.

Another night we started fooling around I didn't even try to go down on her. I started teasing her pussy with my fingers. She moved her legs so that I had better access. But everything I tried did nothing. She was completely dry and seemed disinterested. Same deal. I tried soft, hard, fast, slow. I teased her lips, clit, even her ass a bit. Nothing. After a few minutes she pulled me over on top of her and we had sex pretty much play by play as the previous paragraph. It's really getting frustrating.

In another part of pluff world. The pool team miraculously made it into the playoffs. I can only assume we got a wild card after last weeks dismal performance. OR everyone else got their asses kicked too.

Lastly, I went to happy hour with the guys from work. WB went with us as well. It was an extremely entertaining evening. I will go into more detail tommorrow morning.

Right now I have C. Mrs is at a play. C is in the bath turning into a prune and I have to get her out before she looks like a tiny little old lady. I'll finish Fri. evening tommorrow.

Last night was a blast. It was the first time we had fun in a long time. I guess it was because it was the last night of this session. We were cutting up and joking around just like we used to. I didn't get to shoot, which is just as well. We lost 3 to 2. We needed to win at least 4. Our playoff hopes are slim now.

Once I knew I wasn't going to shoot I decided to enjoy the night. I started ordering liquor drinks. After we were done, Work C, W and I hung around and shot a few games. A new waitress I just met started hanging out with us. She was cute. Not spectacular. But cute. After a while Work C and W left. The waitress, Amber, stayed by the tables with me. So I sat down and we started chatting a bit. I think I ended up talking with her for a good hour. She asked me to come by some time. Eventually I left. It was fun to chat her up a bit. It definitely boosted my ego. Maybe I will stop back by there.

I went to the dentist for the first time in something like 15 years today. One of my teeth suddenly became really sensitive to cold. The dentist, W from the pool team, decided one of my fillings needed replacing. I forgot what it was like to have one half of your face numb. Right now I sound like Silvester Stallone. Adwriiaaaaaannn!!! He tried using a less aggressive anesthetic. It didn't work. Or rather, it didn't work where it was supposed to. So he shot me up with the usual stuff. I have a feeling between the two I may wake up numb tommorrow too.

I had a bizarre thought on the way home. I wonder what it would be like to have oral sex with 1/2 of your tongue numb? Mrs could be in trouble. Thhmeere hunnie.. I wan thoo zlick your puzzthy!!

Boy does time fly when you're trying to be productive! I keep saying to myself, it's only been a day, I'll post tomorrow. Then the next thing I know it's been 3 days.

Tonight is my last night at pool. At least, the regular season. If we make the playoffs I'll shoot then. I'm happy and sad about it all at the same time. I'm happy because I won't be driving to bumfuck every Wed night. I'm also happy because I'll be moving to a new league. It's more of the "downtown" crowd instead of hickville. I think I'll have more fun. That and I'll be playing with the gang from the office; the same gang from this post. If nothing else it should be a good time. I'm sad because I'm sure I'll rarely see these people. You always say you'll stop by or keep in touch. But no one ever does. I'm the worst about staying in touch with people anyway. I don't "just call up" friends to chit chat. A and I still shoot notes each others way every once in a while. I sincerely hope I do keep in touch with her. Not because we've played and there's potential there (although I would be lying if I said I wouldn't jump at opportunities), but because I really enjoyed her company. It was a blast to joke around with her at pool. I really miss that. There's no one there now who is that much fun.

A while back we had an major reorg at work. One of the people moved to my team is a girl I hired a few years ago for a team I used to manage. I'll call her WB. WB is a 30ish blond. She's very athletic. Not much up top. But she's very cute. I also think she's bi. I met several of her friends and roommates a while back. They all had this very... butch punk thing going on. She talked about ex boyfriends and if you get her going she'll talk serious shit. I get the distinct impression she sees a girl on a regular basis. I could be way off base. She goes home at lunch to eat with a mysterious "friend". Recently, I've started noticing her wearing nicer clothes. I mentioned a blouse she wore one day. She started wearing it more and more often. It's probably pure coincidence. I have no idea if there's any potential there but she's going to be on the pool team. If nothing else, it should be fun to mess with her. A dirty old guy can dream.

Doh!! For some reason I had it in my head that today was the 1 year anniversary of this blog. I was mistaken. It was in fact Fri.

A belated happy anniversary to me!

I'm stuck here at work this morning. One of my co-workers is implementing a massive change. It will probably break tons of shit and we'll get hammered for it. Unfortunately, it's one of those things where you know it's coming, but you just have to brace for it and deal with things when they happen. You can plan and plan. But you just know there's a ton of stuff out there you didn't know about. I'm sitting here waiting for the hammer to drop.

Mrs and I went to an interesting party last night. It was a fund raiser for an alumni association neither Mrs or I belong to. We went as guests of the alumni association President. The party was a "You can't lose party". You pay $50 per ticket. There are prizes worth at least $50. Some were worth $700. You get your name drawn out of a hat and you choose whatever prize you want that hasn't been taken. Mrs won a really expensive basket for C. I won a golf accessory basket with a bunch of... stuff in it. I haven't decided whether to keep the golf stuff or give it to the guys in the office as Christmas gifts. I only play golf often enough to remind myself why I don't play golf. The party went about 1.5 hours longer than advertised. You had to stay until the end because the Grand Prize, a $2000 diamond necklace and 2nd Grand Prize, an oil portrait of any family member worth $1000 weren't given away until the end.

We made a brief stop at a party some friends threw. We were about 1.5 hours late to that one. It's a good thing because none of our friends had made it there yet. We would've been standing around with 4 or 5 other people we didn't know. Unfortunately, we had to pick up C by 9:00 and we only got to stay for 30 minutes.

By the time we picked C up, we realized we hadn't eaten all night. We decided to stop at a McDonalds on the way home. What a fucking nightmare! We gave our order. Then sat for 10 minutes waiting on the car at the front of the line to get it's food. They got it and the line moved. The next couple of cars went quickly. Then we got to the window. And sat... and sat.... and sat. We sat there probably 10 minutes. Finally a girl came and took our money. Then we sat... and sat... for about 5 minutes before she brought us change. Then we sat... and sat.. (are you seeing a theme here?) for another 5 minutes and she brought us drinks... Or rather 2 of the 3. Then we sat... and sat... for about 10 minutes. Finally, a different girl came to the window and said "You had the Big Mac right?". We had ordered 3 things, none of which was a Big Mac. I said "You're joking right? We had XXX and YYY and ZZZ". She said "I don't even see that order" and walked off. We sat for another minute while we watched her do some things which had nothing to do with getting our order straightened out. Finally she walked back to the window. When she opened it I said "Take the drinks back, and give us our money back so we can go and get some food somewhere". She said "What?". I repeated myself. She closed the window and shouted something towards the back and walked off to do whatever she was doing. We waited yet another minute. Finally, I got out of the car and walked into the store. I had to wait MORE time to get someone's attention. When I finally did and said I wanted my money back. The guy actually asked me if I had a receipt. I said "A receipt?!?! Are you kidding, she took our money, gave us 2 drinks and disappeared for 10 minutes. We didn't get food and we sure as hell didn't get a receipt. But we did GIVE our money. Which I now want back!" It took another 10 minutes of conversation between the register people and the people in the back before they gave me my money back. We finally got back to the house at 10:30 after trying to get food for an hour. Poor C fell asleep while waiting and McDonalds. She never got to eat.

2 more weeks 'till the end of the pool session. The regular session that is. If we make the playoffs we have 2 more weeks after that. I am very much looking forward to quitting this team. Things just haven't been the same the last couple of sessions. I miss talking shit to A. I miss the camraderie we had at one point.

A couple of weeks ago I talked the gang into trying out this new wing place. It's in what used to be the first mall in my city. Now it's more like a strip mall that a real mall. Two doors down from the restaurant is a big pool hall. One with lots of tables. You pay by the hour instead of for each game. Work C suggested we walk over and see if they have room for another league team. They were enthusiastic about signing us on. So I'm on another team. I swore I wouldn't join a team with Work C because of his lack of enthusiasm and participation on the current team (I'm too lazy to link to the various posts about this in the archives). But everyone at work is on the team. So I feel obligated to give this one a shot. If things don't work out I may try jumping to another team later. It will be nice to start fresh. New team. New location. New area. We won't be playing the same old bars against the same old people. That and one of my teammates is a cute little blond.

I hope everyone out there in blog land had a good Thanksgiving. Mine was the epitome of what the holiday represents. I got to spend a week with my family and especially my Grandfather. My Grandmother died 11 years ago. My Grandfather has been living with heart problems for several years now. Last year we didn't expect him to be around for another Thanksgiving. We were blessed that he was still here this year. He was also in much better health than last year. I grew up in a very small town. My Mom split with my Dad when I was very young. My Grandmother took over the daily care and feeding of my sister and myself while my Mom worked. She picked us up from school every day. Took us to piano lessons, karate, baseball etc. We stayed with her during the day in the summer. My Grandfather came home for lunch every day. He always beat my Mom home as well. I was very close to them. After she died my Grandfather and I have drifted apart a little bit. I was very thankful to be able to be with them and share his beautiful Great-granddaughter with him.

On the downside, the beach house he rented was a total piece of shit. We had 20 people staying in the house. It was the only 6 bedroom house available. It looked horrible. There was a fair amount of rot all around. It was supposed to be "handicapped accessible". The house was one of those up on stilts. It did have a lift. The rental agency had no clue where the key was to it. On closer inspection, the wheels that rode in the track to stabilize it were out of the track and bent all to hell. The heat didn't work. On Thanksgiving night the temperature dropped to 32 degrees. I woke up the next morning and could see my breath in the house. My goal for the next few days is to find every place to post a review and trash the agency. We've stayed at the same beach with different agencies and had wonderful experiences. Being with my Family far outweighed the condition of the house. But I would never in a million years go back there.

Nothing much else to talk about. Let's see... my stats today are:

6 days since I last had sex
17 days since my last blowjob
17 days since Mrs let me lick her pussy

Sigh...

Farewell Atlanta!

Mrs called me yesterday afternoon. C has been really upset the last couple of days. She put her on the phone and all I could hear on the other end was her crying. Apparently, she had been crying all day. It's killing me. So I'm checking out an a few minutes and heading home to my little girl. It's amazing how they can grip your heart like that.

The conference was ok. I learned a lot. Nothing salacious happened. I did see 2 hookers in the hotel bar. This guy started talking to them who is the stereotypical conference john. Balding. Kinda sleazy looking. This other guy joined their party. He was loud, obnoxious, brash. The girls stayed on their cell phones. The sleazy guy kept rubbing his hands over one girl. He rubbed her leg under the table, up and down her arms, her back. It creeped me out. He was so sleazy. Eventually the girls got up and walked out. The loud guy left after a few minutes leaving the sleazy guy at their table and I'm sure with the bill. One of the guys I was hanging out with went to the bathroom which was near the hotel lobby. He saw the loud brash guy at the atm getting out cash. Then all three went to the elevators together. The sleazy guy stayed there for another hour. I'm sure he was waiting for them to come back.

Anyway, I met some really cool people. I learned a lot and was overwhelmed by a lot. Maybe I'll get a chance to come to this thing again.

I'm off next week for Thanksgiving. My family have all rented a vacation house. I will be back after the holiday.

Until then, have a Happy Thanksgiving.

It's 3:30AM. I spent the night getting somewhat hammered. Looking for a beautiful blond I met this morning. She hung out with me in a few sessions. Sadly, she told me she'd be at a couple of social events. She never showed. I eventually went to a couple of bars with various people from our conference. We were panhandled and almost accosted. I saw a bad scene coming and shuffled our people along to this dive. One of the panhandlers looked at me as we were walking into the bar and said "you did the right thing". I took that as meaning the five guys who surripticiously surrounded us were about to roll us. I was actually in a mood for a fight. More so after I saw the dude who told me I did the right thing hanging with the bar bouncer. Clearly it's a conspiracy.

Now I'm sitting here with the 3 other geeks logged in.... drunk.. watching one of the women from our group go through the middle of the night seduction from another drunk attendee. I so want to shout out "Listen... put all of the bullshit aside and lets go FUCK!!!" I don't think it'd work but it's tempting. His hand is almost on her ass. Aw damnit they just left together. Sigh...

This is the first time I've actually had a while to sit and get caught up.... at 4:00am.

I feel a little bit neglectful. Scarlett from "Life of a Southern Girl" sent me a great e-mail earlier. I kinda gave her an endorsement. But I really haven't had a chance to look closely at her site. Let me say a few things... First... I really have to dig a Clemson fan. I didn't go to Clemson... I grew up in the area... I went to all of the '83 National Championship games. I'm hearbroken to see their record this year. Secondly, where the hell are all the chicks like her?!?! I have to blush a bit because in her e-mail she called me a "tart". Sadly, I'm not from the area she's from. But God knows I wish I were! Scarlett, if you come back and hang out more towards the coast.. let me know I'd love to buy you a drink or a bite of lunch. Hell... if you were here in this conference...

Ah but the alcohol is talking now....

The conference just kicked into high gear today. As the number of people have grown over the week, the interesting people (i.e. beautiful women) have started to appear. Which is a welcomed relief to scenery that was here early in the week.

I only have time for a quick note. Check out Life of a Southern Girl. Scarlett is a southerner living in the north. I'll be adding her to the blog roll as soon as I have more time.

I made it to Atlanta with only one terrifying moment. Actually it was more like an hour. I though my truck broke down in the middle of nowhere. Something is amiss. But it's something that is fine after I let it sit for a while. All of the mechanics I know seemed to think it would be alright as long as I pulled over when it acted up.

There's nothing exciting happening at the conference. The most interesting thing so far was the sorority formal going on in one of the ballrooms. Lots of drunk college girls hanging on equally drunk college guys. I kinda hoped one of them would get pissed off at her date and look for someone to "get even" with. Sadly it wasn't to be.

There doesn't look to be much promise here either. The conference is mostly men. The women here... well... lets just say they blend in with the men. I guess I'll have to get out some.

Huh!... I just saw a guy who looked just like Rick Reuban.

On that note, I'll end this post. Until I get more time...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Big thanks to Salvatori at Money Factory for his link.

I took the day off yesterday to get some things done before my trip to Atlanta (2 days and counting). I called A to give her hell for picking the first week I've gone out of town on business in 5 years to have an opportunity to play. I had to run up to her neck of the woods to take care of one of my todos so I asked her if she wanted to grab some lunch. We went to Sonic and ate at the "Drive-in". No juicy tidbits or anything. Just a nice lunch.

On a lark I set up a progile on Adult Friend Finder. I haven't posted a photo or anything. Predictably, I have no messages in my inbox. I'm really hesitant to go any further with it though. This town is too small. Someone somewhere may recognize me and say something to Mrs. As much as I'd like to play, it's just not worth that risk. I keep trying to drop subtle hints to Mrs about expanding our repetoire of things to do/try. Each time her response has been a resounding "No way!" I guess I could be more straight forward and say "Look... I'm bored. Let's do something other than pose for a romance novel cover". I keep thinking of her horrible attempt at buying porn and think the results will simply be funny and nowhere near satisfying. I'm in a quandry as to what to do. Suck it up, be a man and live like this for the rest of my life. I love Mrs and don't want to be with anyone else. Or do I move forward and try to find someone to play with? Sex is such a small part of our relationship it seems ludicrous to risk the marriage over it. Ho.wever, I am a male and as such think about sex a lot. It's a small part of our relationship, but it's a big part of my psyche.

Wouldn't you know. I go out of town for my first business trip in something like 5 years and A calls me to tell me she might could get together one day next week. Damn it!!

The count down continues. 3.5 days until I'm in Atlanta for a week of unsupervised geek immersion. No takers on any mischief to date. Looks like it'll be the hotel bar, pay per view porn, and a case of KY for me.

I had a pretty relaxing weekend. I spent Saturday doing one of my favorite activities. Unfortunately I don't get to do it very often. Work C and I went out to a range in the National Forest and "blew some shit up". No, we didn't go out and set off bomb or anything like that. We both got out a few of our guns and went shooting. I think it's probably been two years since I went out and shot. I need to go more often.

For those of you who don't shoot or who think guns are evil and I'm a freak for wanting to shoot one, let me say fuck off I don't really care. But it's something that gets in your blood. It's sort of like riding a motorcycle, it just feels good. You can't really expain it. It doesn't have anything to do with the fact that guns can be used as killing implements. It's more that you are harnessing so much power and wielding it accurately. I love seeing a target with one big ragged hole in the center. That I can overcome the strong urge to close my eyes and tense my body against the kick to send a projectile downrange and within an inch of all other shots is a real rush. It requires strong concentration and the ability to let everything go for that moment. You focus completely on the front sight, squeeze and let everything else happen on it's own. Anticipate, flich, close your eyes and the shot goes off target. It's not for everyone. But then again neither is needlepoint.

The first magazine I ran through my pistol felt like I hadn't had sex in a year. I may or may not've aimed. I don't really remember. But I walked back to reload feeling like I had just blown a tremendous wad. My heart was pumping, yet I was more relaxed than I've been in a long time.

Both Work C and I took turns shooting our favorite guns. I took 4 with me. 2 pistols and 2 rifles. Work C brought his hunting gun and 2 pistols. One of my rifles is a highly modified .22. What we like to call a "tack driver". It's nothing fancy, I just replaced the stock barrel with one that dissapates heat better. The stock went as well. I have a synthetic stock that cuts down on any pressure on the barrel as well as minimizing the effects of weather. He and I took turns picking off shotgun shells at various distances. It's a blast because the ammo is dirt cheap, it's accurate as hell, and it doesn't beat your shoulder to death. You can also run through a shitload of ammo pretty quickly.

I got home around 5:30. Mrs really wanted to take C to the Fair. I hate going to those things. I really don't like crowds or rednecks. Fairs always seem to bring out both. It took us 45 minutes from the time we got in line to park until we actually parked our car. But C had a blast. We spent a lot of time on the "kiddie" rides. I have to say some of those rides are pretty damned intense for the ages they were allowing on. A few of the rides Mrs could get on with her. There were a couple where she had to ride herself. I was a wreck on those. So many bad scenarios went through my mind every time she walked onto those rides. What if she falls out? She's so little she doesn't know what to do. She could let go (or somehow not do what she was supposed to) and get hurt. What if she gets scared and tries to get off the ride while it's in motion? What if the operator is a perv? What if the operator is mean to her? What if? What if? C on the other hand is turning into a little adrenaline junkie. She went on a ride that was shaped like a shipe with Mrs. The whole thing went up in the air and around in a big circle. Kind of like those rides that go upside down. Except the ship was always oriented right side up. But it went around and around pretty fast. Mrs said C's eyes got as big as saucers and she thought she was about to cry. Then she squealed and started giggling hysterically. I met them as they came off the ride and she was talking a mile a minute about it.

I spent a good part of Sunday out on the back porch in the beautiful weather cleaning guns. Cleaning and cleaning.... and cleaning. It's the one downside to shooting. Powder residue works it's way into every possible nook and cranny and mechanism. On one hand I really enjoy tinkering with them. But cleaning itself is just a nasty business. Your hands get soaked with solvents and oil and gunpowder residue. It took me about 3 hours to clean them all. About 40 minutes a gun. And I didn't strip some of them down. Both rifles I chose to shoot are a real pain in the ass to strip. If I get really bored over the winter I might break them down better and put more effort forth.

After I finished cleaning, Mrs put C down for a nap. We retired to the bedroom to play a little. Maybe I can start my stats counters today since a) we had monkey sex b) she let me eat her out (my favorite activity) and c) I sort of got a blow job. All counters to ZERO. I'll even give her the blowjob one because she was pretty enthusiastic about it even though I never came that way.

We had all the windows open throughout the house. Even the ones in the bedroom. I let the blinds down and angled them to allow air in but not let people see into the bedroom. Mrs came once. I latched onto her and continued working my tongue. I started using my fingers in her pussy while I battered her clit with my tongue. She came again and started to scream. Then she realized the windows were open and bit down on her hand (thank God it was her hand and not my thigh or cock... we were 69ing at the moment). I couldn't help but giggle a little. Hopefully there weren't any small children on the sidewalk outside on the way to the neighborhood playground.

So as of today, Days since I last had sex 1, Days since Mrs let me eat her 1, Days since my last blowjob 1.

Wow, two posts in one day!!

Eden over at J1B voiced my post election angst and disappointment better than I ever could in this post. I feel somewhat connected with her in that I agree with her on most of the issues she touches on. Most importantly I feel like both parties are missing the lessons to be learned from them and threaten to alienate me even more. Well said Eden.

This is my last comment on the elections.

I decided to start a political blog. This election was the most divisive I've seen in my lifetime. A lot of it has to do with how passionate people became after the last election. For me, I saw attacks on my party as attacks on me. The media and as result opposition seemed to imply that if I didn't lean a certain way on an issue that I was a backwoods, uneducated, unenlightened hick. The campaigns were also so pointed and negative I felt I had to fire back. My friends are sick of hearing me argue with people (even when they agree). I didn't want this blog to turn into a political one like so many others have. I still need an outlet to vent my frustration with politicians and Americans from both sides. I'm not sure how this will affect my ability to blog here. I'd like to think I can do both. The reality is I blog at work. Lately, I've felt this blog has suffered as a result. I don't have the time to proof read and correct grammatical mistakes. I also do not take the time to crack open my English books to see whether or not I'm breaking any rules in the first place. I'm sure there are several readers and bloggers who are way more articulate as result. Mostly I've noticed my posts have becomes a little more disjointed. When I take the time to go back and reread some of my posts I feel like an idiot because they simply aren't as articulate as other blogs. Having said all this, I do enjoy posting here. It gives me a chance to say a lot of things I wouldn't say out loud. I have a chance to think things through. Lately there hasn't been much to talk about. My life, aside from politics, is pretty boring right now. Maybe something interesting will happen soon.

Along those lines, the count down to my Atlanta trip is now at 8 days. I'm hoping something interesting will happen there. Anyone want to help me out with this?

According to Cat at Pussy Tales we are "Stupid Americans". Clearly the record number of americans who came out to vote this time and who by majority, albeit a narrow one, chose to re-elect President Bush, in spite of the liberal media's predictions are all morons. 59.1 million people are dumber that Cat.

I'm ok with people thinking Bush is evil. It's obviously small minded and out of touch with reality. But this is the kind of mind set that 59.1 million people voted AGAINST. I hope the elections are a wake up call. I do NOT care to be called stupid. Fare thee well Cat. I enjoyed reading 99% of your blog.

I tuned into CNN this morning while getting dressed. To my horror, Al Sharpton was sitting on a panel discussing what went wrong with the Democratic Party. I say "my horror" because Sharpton was saying the Democrats, in their attempt to appeal to moderates, ended up coming across as wishy washy or lacking convictions. Pretty much what I said in my previous post. God help me when I'm on the same page as Al Sharpton.

Last night was pool night. It was better than recent outings. Work C graced us with his presence. We actually had a pretty good time. We shot about a hundred games of pool. One interesting little thing happened. There is one bar tender/waitress at our bar who is the daughter of the owner. We'll call her "BJ". In the past she's had a real attitude. Her service was mediocre and if you ever said anything about it she'd get pissed. She tried to get Work C banned one night because she kept interupting a match. Work C finally said something and they got into an argument. We've always steered clear of her and would even request different waitresses if she was going to serve us.

I walked in and headed back to the pool tables. We always have to request a waitress to come serve us because they just generally don't pay attention to that corner for what ever reason. The waitress we got was the only one there and in charge of something like 30 separate tickets throughout the bar. So I wandered up to the bar to get a beer. BJ was was tending. Naturally I was a little bit apprehensive. She walked over with a huge smile and was nice to the point where I thought she might actually be flirting. She's somewhat attractive. On the male scale (guys you know what I'm talking about), I'd fuck her. Throughout the rest of the evening I'd glance over to the bar. About 50% of the time she was glancing back.

At the end of the evening, Work C was ready to go. I had 1/2 a beer left and was kind of curious as to where this would/could go. I bellied up to the bar to close out and finish my beer. Nothing of any real interest happened. Except that the waitress we had hung out with me for a few minutes. She wasn't all that attractive and was way too overweight for me. Nothing like a cock block. She left after a few minutes. The owner was in rare form. "Entertaining the ladies". He's a bigger shit talker than ANY of us. BJ and I had a couple of jokes at his expense. Then I went home. This'll be interesting to see where this goes. I think she'd be trouble. So I wouldn't ACTUALLY fuck her. But it'd be a fun little game for a while. Hell, there's nothing else to do anymore.

It's no secret that I am a conservative. I don't call myself a republican because I see myself as a "true" conservative. See my "About" section for greater detail. As such, I have to say I am eagerly anticipating Kerry's speech conceding the election to Bush in about 45 minutes (maybe it will happen by the time this post hits).

I have to say I'm deeply concerned about the future of both parties. Clearly Democrats have lost touch with America in that they lost not 1 but 2 close elections back to back. Not only did they lose the presidency but both the house and the senate. The same can be said for Republicans in that if their support were that strong it wouldn't have been this close. Unfortunately, I think both parties are walking away with the wrong impression as to why they won/lost this election.

Throughout the night and this morning the pundits have been spouting off about the various reasons the demographics went the way they did. The consistent message has been Americans have basically conservative values. The implication being most Americans support gay marriage bans, anti-abortion and anti-stem cell policies etc. I would say this may be partially true based on admittedly horrible exit polls and also on the fact that most states passed gay marriage ban ammendments. However, my personal experience as well as the opinions of almost all my friends is that they didn't vote for Bush per se as much as they voted against Kerry. The same can be said for Democrats. What should this tell both parties about the current voter climate?

I say for Republicans they got a 4 year stay of execution. They have a real problem with voters like myself who do not believe in the pro-life stance of the party. Nor do I believe in their gay marriage agenda. I have a really simple rule for taking a stance on an issue. I support it if it makes sense. If the issue is emotional or based on flawed logic, I don't support it unless it really speaks to me emotionally. For instance, I'm a 2nd Amendment rights supporter. I believe the Democrats have taken stands that do not make logical sense. They assign human emotions to an inanimate object like a gun. They believe guns are evil and therefore anyone who owns one must be evil as well. The assault weapon ban was a classic case of an executive order solely for the purpose of appealing to the liberal crowd without any substantitive results. I own a gun that was not considered an assault weapon. If I chose to use it for evil purposes it would fit the bill just as nicely as any "assault weapon". But this does not make me a criminal. Some of the other laws that increase penalties for crimes committed with a gun, while supported by both parties are still logically flawed in that a crime is a crime. How much MORE of a crime can you make it? And if it was a crime in the first place, the criminal clearly was obviously already breaking the law. Additionally, what message does this send to a victim. How do you think a convenience store clerk held up with a knife (believe me it happens) feels about her perpetrator only getting X amount of time when another clerk held up at gunpoint gets X + 5 years simply because there was a gun involved.

Honestly, I don't know how to fix crime in America. But blaming an object is not the answer. This mentallity is a slippery slope. What's next? Baseball Bat? Hell a man robbed a bank in Australia with a crossbow. Criminals will find a way to commit the crime. I think statistics back me up on this. It's time to consider the source. The criminal. How do you prevent someone from becoming a criminal?

This is an instance where I feel the Democrats have taken a stance based on popular beliefs and polls no matter now ineffectual resulting legislation is. I spent 8 years watching Clinton make policies or endorsing/signing bills that I felt were solely to win a popularity contest with voters.

Let's throw any reality of this claim out for a minute. We can argue motives of candidates for years. The simple fact is, it is MY belief. I voted for Bush because I believe Democrats generally don't have a real stance on anything. I believe they take stances they believe the public wants to hear. The whole "flip flop" criticism of Kerry is what sits in my craw about Democrats. It's why I put aside my disagreement with Republicans on abortion, or gay marriage, or stem cell research to vote for Bush. I did not believe Kerry when he said "I have a plan". I did not have any conviction that when it came down to crunch time on a divisive issue Kerry would take a real stand. I felt that he would put forth measures or bills that missed the mark intentionally to appear he was taking a stand but really didn't. Worse, I thought whatever agenda he pushed would be so full of loopholes or problems that it would actually be a drain on Americans to try to stay "within the law" on whatever legislation came of it.

Whether this would have happened or not is irrelevent. It is a fear I had. It's a fear almost all of the conservatives I know have. When you say Democrat, we think "polling policy" or "flip flop" or "waffle". It's an image problem they have to change.

The Republicans have their share of problems. Though I do not think they realize/admit it. Take Iraq out of the mix for a minute. I think the Democrats could run a pro-gun, pro-military (Really, not someone who threw away their medals. Someone who has a history of kicking ass when needed) candidate and stand a serious chance of winning an election. The only thing that would give ME pause would be the label "Democrat" for the reasons stated above. I think they are seriously losing touch with a group of voters who are genuinely conservative. They feels it's no one's business what they do in the bedroom, or with their bodies. They feel gays should be able to do whatever the hell they want. They believe the government has no business deciding whether or not a woman should have an abortion. Criminals should suffer the full consequences of their actions. They should also get fair and proportionate treatment. It's ridiculous for a man who at 18 got caught selling a joint to spend more time in jail than a man who killed his wife. You can't expect to secure America with open borders so on and so on.

In 4 years, the Republicans could be in for a real eye opening loss if they continue down the same path. They will alienate a growing number of conservatives.

Happy Election Day!!! I certainly hope you all take the opportunity to take the one time every 2 years to exercise the power of the american citizen. Even if you live in a state where you don't believe your vote will make a difference. It does and I'll tell you how.

In the 2000 election the popular vote was won by Gore by about 1% give or take a few tenths. My state is not considered a swing state. We've voted consistently for one party for the last 30+ years. I haven't looked at exact numbers, but in my lifetime I don't remember my State ever coming out differently. In fact, there is a consensus amongst many of my colleagues and friends that voting is worthless because the result will be the same. The electoral votes will go to one candidate because historically they always have. While this may be true from a completely technical perspective, there has been 4 years of Democrats claiming Bush "stole" the 2000 election. Imagine what might've happened if all of those people who didn't vote because they were too lazy or complacent to think they made a difference actually cast a ballot anyway. I don't think there are enough people to change the way our electorate would vote. But maybe, just maybe there would have been enough votes to close the gap. Even if the electorate never changed, might this have silenced the "Bush stole it" crowd? Of course I'm speaking solely from my State's perspective. But I think when the elections are predicted to be this close, if you DON'T vote, you threw away not only what little power you have, but you're right to question the outcome. When my friends and I argue politics, the first thing I ask is "Did you vote?" If the answer is "No", their opinion is irrelevent. They simply did not contribute to whatever situation we are arguing about. I at least have my 0.0000000000001% influence.

I also urge you to think before you vote. Don't trust Bush or Kerry. Get out and read. I've argued my opinions here even though I try not to be political. All of my arguments are based on research. I don't like having a conversation and be at a disadvantage because I don't know the facts. Go out and read articles about Halliburton, or the economy. And don't read articles from the so called "pundits". They are all part of the marketing machine for one side or the other. They all firmly believe the American people are idiots and won't do the research I'm talking about. For them, it's a matter of pushing the right buttons that sit with say... women... or minorities... or christians etc. I call it "polling politics". Take a poll, agree with the majority. In the current age of Google, Yahoo, Ask Jeeves, and the hundreds of search engines out there, anyone can take an hour to find tons of non-partisan material on any issue.

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This weekend seemed both too long and too short at the same time. We started with the Halloween Party Fri. night.

In the past, this party was usually an all-night drunk fest. As we all grew older and had kids the party went through various ups and downs. Last year was awful. Everyone left by mid-night. This year was ok. We ended up partying until 3:30am. I spent most of the time talking with a couple of fellow musicians discussing the possibility of getting a band together for fun. I spent a few minutes talking a little bit of shit to one of the single women there. Mrs and I got trapped by a woman dressed like Lucille Ball. I tuned out about the time I heard her say "My brother-in-laws Uncle's niece" or something like that. The rest of the time I heard "wah wah waaaahh wah wah". I went inside to "get a beer" and left Mrs listening to her life story. I caught hell for that later.

There were a bunch of "new" people there. These were people the hostess has befriended from her kid's school. I think Lucille was one of those people. Apparently, the women decided to have a little fun with one of them and told them that this was a swinging party. Then they talked one of the regular girls into feeling her up. I think it was more funny to the regulars than the "new" people. That was about as close to anything out of the ordinary as we got. The evening ended when "the Drinker" (see last post) ended up sitting in a chair with her head sagging, her eyes closed, and mumbling something incoherent. I ended up having to do a few shots with her. But I managed to stay away from the shot table enough to outlast her. Somewhere along the line she confided that since the baby she couldn't do shots like she used to (which was my point from the beginning). I told her I couldn't either and we should focus our collective energies on fucking someone else up. Unfortunately, she was too far gone to make it happen.

We spent Saturday "recovering". Mrs had to be up early to take C to a birthday party. I spent the day doing housework. Saturday night Mrs and I decided to go out to dinner for a change. C really enjoyed it. The restaurant was pretty cool but it really lacked some key elements like... parking. They had valet parking. But you had to wait a really long time for the one poor valet to deal with the demands. We were the only people ready to leave, but there were about 10 cars lined up that were arriving. It took us about 30 minutes to get our car.

After we finally got our car, we decided to go get a movie. C got a kick out of roaming the aisles of the video store. I was a little uncomfortable there because we noticed after a few minutes we were definitely the minority. I'm not often bothere by these things. But there were quite a few "gangsta" types there. ALL of them running their mouths. Not to us. But they really didn't seem to care who heard them say what. I felt a little bit uncomfortable hearing them say "fuck" and "shit" around C. Mrs and I let it rip when it comes to language. But not around C. We grabbed some movies and left.

We took C for her first "real" trick or treating. She's been before, but she had been too young to really get it. We only went to a few friends houses and it was mostly to show off C in her little outfits. This year it was all about trick or treating. She had the cutest little costume. I usually don't get all gushy. But to see her shuffling up to the doors (a side effect of the costume) and saying "Trick or Treat!!" had me grinning from ear to ear all night. The poor thing could only go so fast though. She was a "big girl" and wouldn't let Mrs or I carry her. It took us 2.5 hours to go around our block. We didn't even make it down all of the side roads or loops. Just the immediate block around us. We had a hard time prying her away from each house. She carried on conversations with every person who answered the door. Asking them a TON of questions. Mostly about whatever was around their porches. She had a ball. We made it back to the house and she immediately started rummaging through her bag holding up different pieces of candy like they were gold. Mrs and I felt like we were 100 yrs old. As soon as C was in bed we crashed.

I have no idea why it's happening. Maybe it's some repressed anger expressed in a sexual way. Maybe it's a deep desire to feel wanted. Maybe, deep down, I just want a good old fashioned grudge fuck. I'm sure every pop psychologist in the blog-o-sphere can chime in. But several nights over the last few weeks I've had very erotic dreams about my ex-wife. I'd be curious to know how often this happened. How many people have dreams about their ex's? The details aren't really worth repeating on here. But it's happened enough to peak my curiousity about the inner workings of my brain.

Tonight is our annual halloween party. Or rather one of our friend's party. It's where Mrs and I first met. Although, we knew each other for 2 or 3 years before we actually started dating. Maybe my dreams are a timing thing. My ex and I separated about a week before Halloween. A friend invited me to this party. I had never met any of these people before. They soon became the core of my new "crowd". I travelled to Mardi Gras with them. We hung out together. I dated another person from this group for a while. We all experienced each others weddings, babies etc. The party used to be a wild time. We would stay up until 4 or 5am drinking until we passed out and did so wherever we stood. I woke up one morning on the living room floor with 10 other people piled in various poses with various people all passed out around me. Lately it's been pretty lame. Last year was awful. Everyone was gone by mid-night. Those that stuck around nursed our beers and complained about how lame everyone was. One of the people there last year (the girl I dated for a while) was usually the life of the party. Coercing everyone into doing shots. Leaving a trail of bodies in her wake. But last year she was very pregnant and not drinking. We teased her that she wouldn't be able to hold her liquor by the time the party rolled around this year. She adamantly denied it. We made a little bet that we'd see who would be left standing (based on a previous bet.. it's a long story I'll tell some other time). I heard she may not even be there this time.

I can say personally I think the difference is in our relationships. When I first met the group, we were all single. There were a bunch of "couples". But none were married. I think this added a level of... sexual tension in the air. There were no swinging nights or anything like that. But there was definitely more sexual energy. Now the couples are married and have babies. The party also moved as the host's family grew and they moved to bigger and nicer houses. The tension is gone. We're complacent in our own settings. Marriage added a degree of... finality to our relationships. X is with Y forever. We've also "matured". It's one thing to party in the house furnished with the college couches and a board placed on 2 milk crates for a coffee table. It's another to "party" in the family room with the kids toy box in the corner by the recently reupholstered sofa in the remodelled living room.

Last year we all lamented how the party has become so lame. But no one had any ideas how to revive it. We left it hanging out there all year long without any other ideas until suddenly, tonight, it's time to do it again. I'm not sure what to expect this year. I have a feeling it will be lame again. I get the distinct impression the hosts aren't that into it. A party has to have energy and it starts with the hosts. I don't have high hopes for it.

Mrs and I have been toying with the idea of starting some crazy new traditional party. Maybe a throwback to our college days. Maybe a "toga" party or something. Our "Cinco de Mayo" party seemed to go over pretty well. But we made it early so people could bring their kids. Maybe an adult-only toga party. I'd like to suggest a pajama party. But I'm not really sure I want to see our crowd in lingerie.

Hmmm.... ideas...ideas..

I've never been much of a "sports" fan. I love watching football. I like to play some sports. Watching baseball, basketball, golf etc. to me is akin to watching grass grow. It just doesn't do it for me. But I will say GO SOX!! If for no other reason than to put that fucking curse talk away. It's all I've heard about for a year. Curse curse curse.

Last night was pool night again. It was pretty uneventful. I talked smack to B. There's nothing else to do. Yet again Work C failed to show up. I've decided this is my last session. At least on this team. Work C wants to start another team closer to my home. I have absolutely no reason to believe he would be any more reliable on "our own" team. So I think I'm just going to either quit or find a team to join without him. Call me idealistic, and Hank Hill if you will, but if I tell someone I'm going to do something, I do it. Period. I didn't want to shoot this session. But through an unfortunate series of events and timing I waited too long to quit the team. I wanted to see how things would shake out with A and the new team members. By the time I realized it was going to suck it was really too late to quit. I guess I could've. But I don't like leaving people in a lurch. So I've been playing like it's any other session. I show up. I do my best. I win some and I lose some. Either way I give it my best. When I quit this session I will feel good that I went out swinging 'till the end of the session.

I keep saying it and saying it and yet I get sucked into the trap over and over. I need to cut Work C from all but my work life. He is not a good influence. He's also a dangerous friend. There is a guy at work, S, who was a political hire. He used to work for us a long time ago and quit to do a few businesses with his wife. His arrival on our team was through a series of backstabbing, political moves, and personal vendettas. None of it was his fault. He wanted to come back. Several higher ups pulled all the shady maneuvers to bring him back. Work C has pounded on him relentlessly. Makes snied comments. All but calls him incompetent to his face. This from a man who sat on his ass for 4 years without doing ANYTHING. S does a lot of dumb shit. He was out of the business for about 4 years. His skills are a bit rusty. My favorite was the time when we were all discussing a problem with ssh (secure shell for you non-geeks). It's a core technology for us. We use it to connect to EVERYTHING. S said "What's ssh?" After about 10 seconds of stunned silence, the whole group fell on the floor laughing hysterically. Ok... he asked for that one. But all in all he's a good guy. He didn't know people were getting shit on so he could get hired back. As a human, he doesn't deserve the level on animosity from Work C.

Most of the guys on my team go to lunch together. We can get pretty rowdy. We talk shit about everyone and no one is safe. One day S was the topic. He is going out for back surgery in about a month. He'll be out for about 8 weeks on short term disability while he recovers. I said, in a wild assed theory that is totally unfounded and definitely tongue in cheek "I think S is here for the insurance. He has all these side businesses making money hand over fist. I bet he uses the company insurance to get his back done. Get's paid disability. Then quits when it's all over". The other day, I'm sitting in my cube working (ha!) when I hear, over the cube walls, Work C talking to S. He said "Well, Mr thinks you're just here for the insurance. That you'll quit as soon as your surgery is over". I was stunned. I couldn't believe he said that. Although, by now I should expect it. After S left I poked my head in his cube and said "Don't tell people what I think about them. That's MY job. Not yours!!" He acted like it was no big deal. I found out later S went to the Boss and told him how upset he was that this was the perception.

He did the same thing on the pool team. When N and L joined the team, a lot of the team was pissed. J bumped A to make room. L has a reputation for getting drunk and starting fights. None of the girls wanted to be anywhere near her. We were sitting around before the matches started one day. Work C leans over to N and says, "I've heard no one wants L on the team. B said she didn't like L and she doesn't want to hang around" Of course N went over to B and started bitching her out. Afterwards, I was sitting at a table with she and J and a couple of other people. She was pissed that someone would use her name "just to start something". Another case of him running his mouth when he had absolutely no business doing so.

These type of things happen. And I vow to cut him from my life because he's just so selfish and out of control. But then I'll start to warm back up and the next thing I know he's doing something like that again. Sometimes I just wish he'd quit. At work, on some things he's great. But no one seems to notice that on other things he can never work alone. Someone always has to do part of his job for him. If he's not working with someone it never gets done. But he runs his mouth like the team would never survive without him. Hell, he's even started taking credit for things other people did. All in all he evens out to a mediocre employee. His mouth and attitude offset the really great things he does. If you ask anyone what they think about him their answer is always conflicted.

Ok... I didn't intend to go off on a rant.

For some reason this set of pictures really spoke to me this morning...

I think I may need to start a stats section. Little things like... days without sex... days without blowjob... attempts to eat Mrs... (or maybe that one is better as a ratio ie attempts vs. successes)... average number of porn videos viewed on internet per day... average number of times masturbating per week... I could go on and on.

On one hand it'd be an interesting experiment. On the other I'm afraid it would confirm what I already suspect. The results may be way more depressing than the theory.

The reason I mention this is I finally got a blow job from Mrs. I came home yesterday and noticed Mrs rear tire was dangerously low. This was the 3rd time I've noticed it. She said "Maybe I should take it to the shop". Which is an instant blow to the male ego. WHAT?!?? Take it to a MECHANIC?!?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?! I CAN FIX THIS!!! So I busted out my tools. I know all you need as a jack and a tire iron, but really you can't have too many tools. That and it looks way more impressive to use the "impact wrench" to remove the lugs etc. It probably took me longer to gather the equipment than it would've just to use the damned tire iron. But that's not the point. I found the offending nail then removed and plugged it.

When I went back inside to clean up I noticed a HUGE stain on the carpet. OK... maybe not huge. It was about the size of a shoe. Apparently, Mrs spilled coffee on the carpet, then tried to clean it by grinding it into the fibers with a washcloth in spite of the fact that we own not 1 but 2 carpet cleaners!! So I attacked the carpet with the cleaner. I went through an entire bucket of cleaning fluids on the one spot. It was beautiful (of course this morning the stain was back proving that you should NEVER grind a stain into the carpet because once it's in the pad it'll just come back). Apparently all my domestic effort earned me a blow job. Woohoo.

Which brings me to this post over at J1B. She writes:

I may give a bonus blowjob or be too angry to fuck sometimes, but that's not the same as acting like sex is a doggie treat, to be awarded when someone I like performs a trick and taken away when he misbehaves. I'm sure the people behind this site think that they're being progressive, but in fact, that's the way sexually-repressed people act, viewing sex as a chore and therefore something their partners have to "earn". I find that manipulative and offensive.

I have to agree. However, put Anne Coulter on her knees by the exit of the polls...

Ugh!! Last week ended in a flurry or work crises and late nights. We had a system suffer catastrophic hardware failures. I missed round 1 but caught every bit of the follow up rounds. I'm starting to get too old for these all night work parties. I spent the rest of the weekend "recovering". Anyway...

Piper over at Piper's Place wrote:

He's one of the few guys who doesn't need to be guided into pussy. Have you ever noticed how clumsy some guys are when entering you? Sometimes I feel like I should have a flashlight in either hand and wave them in, like those guys at the airport guiding planes in.

Ok ladies. I take it from this comment that to be "guided in" implies a degree of sexual inexperience. As in we don't know where to find it. I ask, do we have eyes down there? I know it's called the "one eyed willy" but IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION!! Seriously though. Is it that much of a turn on for a man to "just slide in"? I can say, without a doubt, I know every inch of Mrs and rarely can I just, "pop it in"? Is there something wrong with me? It's not like I've never been with a woman before. I had an argument with a female friend of mine the other day about number of sexual partners. I never really felt the need to quantify but I was a bit miffed and decided to count. I was surprised to discover that I was almost out of fingers and toes etc. I've been told I'm very talented in the oral department. A told me the first time I ate her pussy that it was the fastest she'd ever cum. So I know where things are and what to do with them. Am I a freak that I need a little guidance to penetrate?

On a completely different subject, I am attending my first conference in several years in Atlanta in November. Any other bloggers going to be in that area the week of November 14th? I feel that familiar itch of mischief creeping up on me.

Big shout out to DTG at Pussy Talk (in my link list to the right) for the reciprocal link. Thank you very much!


I had a dream the other night that is so out of character for me. I think I could do this if I knew ahead of time this was the agenda. But never out of the blue for fear of freaking my partner out. The amazing thing was this was the first actual wet dream I've had since my freshman year in college.

I walked to the front door in broad daylight on an oppressively hot summer day. The house was an average house, in an average neighborhood. There were kids playing in the yard a couple of doors down. I've never seen the house. In the dream it was familiar to me. As if I had been there often. I knocked on the door. A woman answered. She was beautiful. Dark hair. Large blue eyes. Her breasts were absolutely stunning. She had a waist I could almost reach both hands around. Again, I do not know her. Again in the dream it felt as if I knew her for years. She was wearing cotton shorts. The kind you wear while working out or lounging about the house. Her shirt left her belly button exposed. She was not wearing a bra. She looked at me nervously. I said "Invite me in". More of a command than a request. She backed into the house, her eyes on me the whole time. I closed the door behind me. She continued to back away. I followed, almost stalking her. She continued backwards until she bumped into a wall. She splayed her hands against the wall at her side. I reached up with my left hand and slowly, almost gingerly at first worked my fingers into a handful of her hair. I heard her breath quicken. I brought her mouth to mine, my tongue invading her mouth. She whimpered, a cry at the invasion of her mouth, a cry of lust for more. I slid my right hand up her thigh and into her shorts leg. She was not wearing any underwear. I drove a finger deep into her cunt. She was almost dripping. Her legs gave a little. She whimpered again. Abruptly I pulled away, my hand still entangled in her hair. Her eyes, full of lust, pleaded with me. Using my grip on her hair I pulled and turned her so she was facing away. I used her hair as a handle and pushed/pulled her towards the bedroom. When we reached the foot of the bed I pushed her down on the bed. She was on her knees with her face pressed into the mattress. My hand never released her hair. With my right hand I grabbed the waist of her shorts and yanked them down to her knees. I buried a finger in her pussy. She moaned. I growled "Shut the fuck up!" and tightened my grip on her hair. I drove my fingers deeper while letting my thumb drift to her asshole. I could feel her trying to push back against my hand. I pulled my fingers out of her. She cried out. I shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" I freed my enraged cock from my jeans with my right hand. I held her face pressed against the mattress with my left still entangled in her hair. I pulled against her hair so that she rose up on all fours. I used my knees to force her legs apart as I pressed my cock against her pussy. She was so wet I almost slid in without any effort. I held myself there, the tip of my cock just in the folds of her pussy. She began to pant as she tried to force herself back on it. I gripped her hair tighter and growled "What do you want?" She said in a breathless whisper "fuck me". I used her hair like a set of reigns and pulled her back impaling her on my cock. She cried out and began to shudder. I pulled her hair tighter and leaned to her neck and whispered "NOT... YET!" Her panting becamed dangerously close to hyperventilating. I could feel her juices run down my balls. She squeezed her pussy trying anything to get a release. I held her just a moment longer, then let go. Her hair fell cascaded over her face as she let her head fall down. She threw herself back onto my cock over and over. After a few thrusts she cried out as she started shaking uncontrollably. I grabbed her hips and thrust myself as deeply as I could and exploded into her. We both collapsed in a heap on the bed.

I woke up in a pool of cum. Mrs was already in the shower. I quickly grabbed a towel and cleaned up. The whole time I was cleaning I could here her last whisper of the dream "See you tommorrow?"

Another hot post about outdoor sex over at Pussy Talk.

The only real problem with sex outside around here is the bugs. Mosquitos are awful. The couple of times A and I went to a park, we snuck inside what appeared to be a maintenance shack. I can only imagine trying to explain to Mrs the big whelps on my ass had we gone for full on fucking outside.

It's still a great fantasy though. Maybe after a couple of cold snaps kills off the mosquitos it'd be fun. A trip to a nature trail. Nice secluded spot away from people. Warm bodys pressing together in the crisp autum air. Hmm..

I have a good friend, and former lover I email at least once a week for the last 7 years or so. We met through work and had a brief long distance fling. We've been close ever since.

I'm coming to the conclusion that (aside from me of course) she makes the worst choices in men. I'm also noticing a distinct pattern here. She was in another long distance relationship for about 4 years with someone many years younger than her. I'm not talking someone fresh out of high school. But someone approaching his 30s. She just turned 40. This guy either had prior or developed during their relationship serious medical problems. She spent a significant amount of effort and money travelling to his home (1/2 way across the country from her) to be with him during surgeries etc. She took care of him after various operations. She even helped make medical decisions. Towards the end of their relationship he really started getting an attitude with her. He would blow her off and say mean things. I couldn't really say this to her because over time she's gained a fair amount of weight, but he sounded like a young guy who had a fling with Mrs. Robinson and was embarassed of her. I told her she really needed to take a close look at the relationship because after all of her effort and care, she deserved better treatment.

During the last phase of their breakup, an aquaintance she knew for several years told her how much he loved her and how he had watched in the wings in pain over the way she was treated etc. etc. He sounded like a great guy to me. She asked my opinion and I told her she needed to be damn certain he wasn't "rebound" guy if she thought there was a chance he could be Mr. Right. I also said she deserved someone who would say the things he said to her when he professed his love.

I got an e-mail from her yesterday about a trip they took together. He lives 1/2 across the country as well. Apparently, mr New Guy is a 32 yr old virgin. Can we detect a pattern here? When we chatted about the upcoming trip she implied he was sexually inexperienced. To ME, this said he had been married or in a long term relationship where it was the same way, once or twice a year. I know people who live like this. I don't understand it. But it happens. I didn't read it as NEVER had sex before! On top of that, he apparently hasn't dated since high school!!

Her question was about popping his cherry. Apparently there are problems with him keeping it up. I'm so astounded at the situation I don't even know where to begin to help her out. I can only imagine the stress this guy is under (see Sept 28 post). Had I known he was a virgin I think I would've said "You don't need this kind of emotional stress on the heels of a break up". Now they've gotten together for "friendly" weekends. As in they were just hanging out and testing the waters. A long distance date if you will. Now she's decided to take it to the next level. So to me, it's a little late to say "RUN!!!!" Being "inexperienced" isnt' that big a deal to me. But a 32 yr old virgin?!?! I didn't know those existed in the male species. To me this just smacks of emotional dependence. Kind of like the physical dependence of her last bf. The similarities between the two are eery.

Oi Vey!

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Pool night... sigh... It's not what it used to be.

It was generally a boring night. I won. The team won. The team we played last night was a rival of sorts. They're sort of the screwballs from our home bar. Losing to them would've been a HUGE insult. Fortunately we pulled it out.

E came by for about 30 seconds. Long enough to buy "us" a shot. Except she did hers over at the bar. Then brought mine as she was leaving. I only agreed to do one because she pushed me to. Then she only sat there while I did my half and then left immediately after.

After I left, I called her to harrass her. B answered her phone. I said "There's a pool calling our names" (see the skinny dipping post). B said "You just left me. What are we going to do about this attraction (like I didn't know it was B)". I said "I told you, there's a pool with our name on it. Let's go". She said "You know who this is right?". I replied "Of course, let's go". Then she handed the phone to E. The conversation went as usual. Let's get into trouble. I can't. Blah blah blah.

On the way out Work C told me he and his brother were going to a local strip joint. As much as I'd like to go, I just didn't feel like going with him. That and I'm broke as hell right now. I can't go in one of those places without dropping at least $200.

I was home and in bed by 11:00.

When I was in college, my friend K told me about fantasies she had about having sex in public. Not out in the open per se. But in dangerous places. Such as at night in the botanical gardens near the campus. In the glass elevator of a parking garage overlooking the city where she worked. I was way too young and scared of authority back then. "What if we got caught?!" It's taken me years and years, but until recently, I never ventured out into the open per se. When A and I were "riding" at lunch we frequently went to a seldom seen park and snuck into what appeared to be a maintenance shed. One day we went to a much more public park and walked down a trail to a spot where the shrubs sort of protected us. Lastly, Mrs and I had fun on our boat up on the lake on what turned out to be the brightest full moon we'll experience for something like 75 years. I've definitely warmed up to the idea.

In keeping with this theme, todays entry at Pussy Talk is incredibly hot.

Not sure what to think about this.

Or this

This is an interesting article about the weapons of mass destruction or lack thereof in Iraq. It basically backs what I read with the WMD commission reports stating EVERYONE in Iraq thought they had them.

I've had alls I can stand and I can't stands no more.

I'm SO sick of hearing liberals who can't think for themselves. Touting the party line. Saying whatever Kerry said in his "Nuh uh" campaign. I watched the debates. I read and read. I've come away thinking the same thing every time. Kerry is like some little 4 year old brat. Whatever Bush says, he says "Nuh uh". I've heard "I have a plan"... "I have a plan"... "I have a plan" so many fucking times and yet he says "I can't go into that here". WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO?!?! THIS IS WHAT THE DEBATES ARE FUCKING FOR?!?! And the misrepresentation makes me want to throw something at the TV. Bush's tax plan gave tax breaks only to the top 2%?!? Everyone out there raise their hands who got the $400 check back from the government. I make WAY less than $200k and I got one. Oh but wait. Bush also is the only President to reduce taxes during a war and yet Kerry wants to give ADDITIONAL tax breaks?!?! Talk about flip flopping.

I really didn't want this to become a political tirade. I just finished my daily reads and feel like I'm going to puke. THINK FOR YOUR DAMN SELVES PEOPLE!! I would have so much more respect for their opinions if they weren't coming across as little Michael Moore clones. Oh Halliburton!! Never mind that a) no one else bid on many of the jobs and b) both Cheney AND Halliburton were cleared of any kind of wrong doing by federal auditors. READ THE FUCKING NEWS PEOPLE!! Oh wait. It was FEDERAL auditors and therefore Cheney must've bought them. I forgot there always has to be a conspiracy. This is as stupid as the right wing throwing out all of those numbers about Clinton and all the people who died around him who were involved with Whitewater etc. GET A FUCKING GRIP PEOPLE!!

You will notice the absence of several links. I read these people for pure entertainment. But they decided to turn their sites into political blogs and SPOUT THE SAME PARTY LINE BULLSHIT!!! Yeah I recognize the hypocrisy in this post. Mostly I'm removing them because I don't enjoy ignorance. Had they anything interesting or thought provoking to say, I'd be glad to continue linking to them. Even if they were of opposing views than mine. For example, I really respect Enjoy Every Sandwich because he thinks for himself and says interesting things. Not just party line bullshit. Some things I agree with. Some not. But he's thought provoking.

My last thought on the subject: THINK FOR YOURSELVES PEOPLE!! Please for the love of our country don't vote because you actually listen to the damned spin. Read. Read. Read. Hell even if you just read CNN read ALL of it. Also talk to your military friends. There are a lot of things we'll never hear about in the US. Things Bush could never bring up in the debates. Things that would undermine our relationships with the Iraqis and our Allies. We only THINK we know what's going on over hear. Talk to people who've been there. They'll tell you the REAL deal. Not the political spin or what the sensationalistic and liberal media want you to hear.

Pool night last night. It was an ok evening. I'm getting pissed at Work C though. He started shooting on a different team on Thursday nights. His wife took a dim view to him shooting pool 2 nights a week. So he started shooting on our team one week, then the other team the next week. My league shoots in a town about 30 minutes from my house and an hour from work (depending on traffic). It's 3 times farther for me to go there to shoot than to shoot somewhere locally. Lately, with all the drama going on I really don't feel like going. But I'm the type of person who said I would do something and so I do it. I do it to the best of my ability until my commitment is done. Lately Work C has been finding more and more reasons not to go. Which leaves me shooting with people I know, but am not really all that close to. Last night he decided he was going to go fishing instead of coming to pool. This makes 2 weeks in a row he's missed. On top of that, he started taking karate. The annoying thing about it is, I can see shooting every other week. You gotta keep the wife happy. But he's adding MORE stuff to replace pool. In the end, the people who look to him to fulfill a commitment are the ones getting screwed. His wife and his friends. He wants me to quit this team and start another next session with all of the people from work. He says he'll quit the other team and just focus on the one. But I have to question whether or not he'd stick beyond a session or two.

Aside from Work C not showing up, the evening was so so. Since L and N joined the team the dynamics have really gotten weird. A isn't around anymore. I haven't seen E for months. Last week, N and L apparently had a fight earlier in the day. He didn't show up and she showed up drunk. And I mean DRUNK!! She was loud and obnoxious. She didn't start any fights or anything. But she was without a doubt, the loudest person in the bar. She left shortly after she shot her match. Last night, I heard she apparently went off the deep end after she left. She got drunker and drunker and eventually downed a bunch of pills. She ended up in the hospital.

Last night they were both there and both were really... subdued. I spent a good hour or two chatting with B about politics. She kills me. She can be such a brat so much of the time. But she really isn't some airhead. She watches CSPAN all the time. She keeps up on current events. We can have an intellectual discussion about politics and she doesn't just spout some party line. She clearly thinks about her opinions. I don't just say that because we happened to agree on most points. It was clear to me she used her brain to form her own opinions.

I have a co-worker in the office and he and I disagree about politics constantly. We butt heads on a daily basis about various things. Our most heated discussions revolve around the current election. He is such a smart guy. But when it comes to politics, he's an idiot. And I don't say it because he and I disagree. I say it because he simply spouts the party line. You could open his mouth, and turn on a Kerry speech and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Most of my opinions, while supportive of Bush (on a lot but not all things), come from reading and reading. For example, I've read a lot of the WMD commission reports. I've read and reread articles about the history of Iraq, the events leading up to the invasion, etc. and etc. I pour through Time. I read National Geographic. I watch most of the documentaries on the History Channel dealing with Iraq. When I ask my co-worker if he's read or watched any of these things he tells me no. B on the other hand cites articles, books etc. she's read to form her opinions. If she and I were to disagree on a point, I have much more respect for her opinion simply because she didn't get it off of some TV add.

Anyway, we chatted for a while. Eventually it was her turn to shoot. We ended up winning 3 of 5 matches. An ok night for us. I left around 10:30 and was home in bed by 11:30. Damn I miss the fun nights at pool. Talking shit with E. Flirting with A. A whispering how much she wanted my cock in her mouth or how bad she wanted be to fuck her. Sigh...

My whole family is coming to town this weekend. There are a lot of birthdays and events all happening this weekend. Everyone decided to make a weekend of it and roadtrip here. It'll be a little entertaining because both my Mom and Dad will be here. They've been divorced since I was 7. They get along ok. But it's a little awkward trying to make sleeping arrangements. My Mom will stay with us for a night or two. Then my Dad. C is just ecstatic to see them. It'll be a fun weekend just to watch her connect with her Grandparents.