Merry Christmas!

First and foremost, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

I will be gone until after the New Year. The family will be venturing our way across the big open skies to California to visit my sister and her brood. I'm going to admit to something here. I have managed to find a reason not to fly since 9/11. It's not that I'm afraid of hijackers taking over the plane. It's the thought of 2 fucking hours just to get through all of the bullshit security checks. I say bullshit because really... if someone really wants to hijack a plane, they'll find a way. I dread the thought of standing in line possibly having to open my personal things for someone to rummage their grubby hands through. Taking off my fucking shoes. I suppose the TSA has to at least go through the motions. I wonder if anyone will notice I'm planning to take a book on Practical Shooting? Will that earn me a strip search?

For some reason this Holiday Season has seemed so... surreal. I feel like I'm sitting in a Christmas version of "The Carousel of Progress" at Disney World. Some animatronic Mrs talking to a herky jerky C about Santa Clause while I sit on the couch smoking a fake pipe. The lights dim, you hear the grinding of gears while the theater rotates to another "scene". Except that I'm really sitting in the theater by myself watching my own life on stage. I laugh while the animatronic Mr delivers a classic vaudvillian line to a robotic family. I look around to see who else is laughing and remember it's just me.

Damn that sounded WAY too depressing. Sometimes I find way too much interest in the imagery going on in my head.

One of Mrs friends gave her 2 tickets to see a live performance one of C's favorite movies (speaking of Disney). I had Friday night to myself. I met Sarah for drinks at a local bar. Let me back up. Things have taken an interesting turn with Sarah since my little "Ralph the Wild Hare" post. Her team did in fact make the playoffs. I ended up texting her later Wed afternoon. There's not really much to say. I hung out at the bar with some of my teammates and got hammered. I had a moment of satisfaction upon learning my old team (Chester's team) made the playoffs.. but failed to show. Somehow I'm still the spokesperson for their team. People came up to me asking where they were. How the fuck would I know? So I texted Chester. Evidently, no one "told him" they made it to the playoffs. Of course, since his exit here, and subsequent separation from his wife... NONE of his contact info is accurate. Of course I knew MY team got a bye by... wait for it... CHECKING THE FUCKING WEB SITE!! It has schedules and standings and everything INCLUDING THE FUCKING PLAYOFF SCHEDULE!! The thing that kills me was that a) he is a geek and of all people should be checking the damned web page b) he blamed it on the league operators.. did HE make a call? No. He sat on his lazy, sorry, fat ass and expected someone to hold his hand and walk him to their tables. I love it.

Anyway, my team had great fun fucking with Chester. All night they were texting him telling him we were stealing X or Y from his team because they were so pissed. No one else from his team showed either. But it was fun fucking with him anyway.

So back to Sarah. The playoffs CAN take way less time than a regular night because a) you're only playing 1 format. Either 8 or 9 ball. Even though you play both during the session, really it's like you have two teams. b) It's sudden death. Normally you play all of the matches because you total the points through the end of the season. But playoffs are tournament style. So if it's the best 3 out of 5 for example, once you hit 3 it's pointless to continue. Sarah's team won pretty quickly.

We sat around drinking for a bit. Then we left. I had half a mind to get a room. But I'm not sure how she would take that card right now. We ended up driving to a park, sitting on a REALLY fucking cold bench and making out for a bit. It got really late and we clearly weren't going any further so we just called it a night.

Back to Friday night. I told Sarah I would have the evening free if she wanted to do something. She really wanted to go to a local amusement park. I got off work around 3ish. She was supposed to be off around 4. The weather was REALLY nasty. I tried calling her. But she wouldn't answer her phone. Ok... I figured she was full of shit. I went to a bar and grabbed a beer. I thought if she called me back, we'd do something. If not, I'd drink some beer, eat some bar food and call it a night. Finally, around 6:30 she called. I told her where I was. I asked if she wanted me to pick her up to go to the park. She told me she needed to change and she'd call me right back with a decision. So I sat and sat. I finally decided I'd just have dinner and leave when I got a text "I'll be at the bar in 2". The next thing I knew, I felt arms around my neck and a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek.

Nothing really juicy happened. We decided to go to a movie. Right as we were about to walk in, my phone rang. It was Mrs. Paranoia took over. I debated how long it would take in the movie and how long Mrs would be wondering where the hell I was. Ultimately, I decided it was best if I went home. But we did make out a bit first. Of course, I got home and no one was there. I probably could've gone ahead with the movie.

I'm planning a trip to the mountains shortly after getting back from Cali. I mentioned it to Sarah. She wants to go. I'm debating what to do. I don't know if she really would have the maturity to leave things at just having fun. She seems cool with things right now. But then again we haven't actually done anything. I think it'd be a wild ride if I did take her. We'll have to see.

Ralph the Wild Hare

Ralph was a rabbit. Long ago my little brother was terrified of anything four legged. Dogs, cats, and yes even rabbits. He was something like 2 at the time. Ralph was the first of 12 steps to "cure" him of this problem. My Dad reasoned he would overcome this fear one step at a time starting with a rabbit and eventually ending with an actual dog.

For the most part Ralph was pretty boring. He just sat around looking non-plussed in whatever space he occupied, his cage, the floor, the kitchen. We would soon learn Ralph was patiently waiting for true love.

We had birthday party for my Dad. There were only a few guests. The kids (me, my Sister, and little Brother), one or two close friends of the family, maybe the neighbors, oh and Ralph. That was pretty much it. My Dad must've been hitting the big 0 birthday (4-0 that is) because I remember all of the decorations were appropriately morbid. A tombstone cake. Black streamers. Black balloons.

The party was a blast. All revelers had a great time. The adults were all acting "funny" (read drunk). The kids were pretty much destroying the decorations for one reason or another. Streamers and balloons were falling to the floor. In my mind's eye I'm seeing the party as a scene from something like American Pie. Revelers of all ages caught up in the melee of a good time. Suddenly, all sound is replaced by Marvin Gay singing "Let's Get it On". Ralph is hopping across the room having spotted the love of his life from afar. "I've been reaally tryyiiin BAAAAbeh" hop hop "Tryin to hold back this ffeeeeEELINg for SOOO looong" hop hop. "And if YOU feeeeel.... LIIIKE I fEEEEEL baby" hop hop... the two lovers meet. Ralph's paws pull her close. Passion overcomes decorum as a furious exchange of fur and rabbit bits ensues. Suddenly, just as true love is about to reach it's climax... POP!!! She's gone in a flash. A moment of confusion. WTF?!?

The soundtrack starts again. "Bwah bwah bwah bwaaaaaaaaaahhh I've been REAALLY tryyiyyyiiiiing baaaaabeh" there she is... across the room... having mysteriously jumped in a split second from those short little arms of Ralph to a quieter corner of the room. Hop hop "trying to hold back this feeeeeEEEElin for SOOOO loooong" hop hop. Ralph resumes his embrace... those tiny little arms pulling her closer to ecstasy. Again... passion overcomes decorum... more furious love making and again... POP!!!!!! Poor little Ralph is getting distraught. Is he too much for the poor little lass? Is it possible to actually fuck a rabbit into explosion? Wait a minute... there... across the room in another corner... "Bwah bwah bwah bwaaaaaaaaaahhh I've been REAALLY tryyiyyyiiiiing baaaaabeh" hop hop. Less foreplay... straight to full on rabbit humping... POP!!!! Now we're onto frantic searching. Ralph's little rabbit blue balls are screaming for release. Fuck the music... THERE SHE ISS!!! hop hop hop... hump hump POP!!!!! FUUUCCKK!!!!!!

Poor Ralph. He had true love within his grasp.. or clench as the case may be. Yet over and over it disappeared into the ether leaving Ralph empty and unfulfilled.

If you haven't figured it out yet. Evidently, black "death" balloons at a 40th birthday party either really resemble a female rabbit... or the rabbit equivalent of one of these. Poor Ralph molested balloon after balloon. Each one popping before he could finish. I can't imagine what was going through his little rabbit brain. "AAaaaawww baby. That's it... take it... you know you like it fast like this..." POW!!! "WHAT THE HEEELLL!!!?!?!? I KILLLED HER!!!! DAMN MY NON-OPPOSING THUMBS AND STUMPY LITTLE ARMS!!! IF ONLY I COULD JUST JERK OFF!!!!"

So my pool team (which I haven't really talked about much) placed high enough overall to be able to skip the playoffs and go straight to a tournament. Tonight is the first night of playoffs. Whatever will I do with myself? Since we get a bye, I have absolutely no where I have to be... and a free night out. My prospects aren't all that good for mischief though. Sandy is really annoying me this week. The whole "let's do so and so" then standing me up is getting really fucking old. I texted Sarah last week during pool and never got a response. So either a) she didn't see it b) she saw it and is no longer interested or c) there is some kind of trouble afoot (which is entirely possible). I'm kinda starting to relate to Ralph a little bit "Bwah bwah bwah bwaaaaaaaaaahhh I've been REAALLY tryyiyyyiiiiing baaaaabeh" hop hop...

Any bloggettes in the south east looking for some fun tonight? No?... POP!!!!

The Tuesday of Information Too Much

My title is either medieval speak... or Yoda speak... my brain can't pick which. Hmph.

Anyway, it's time to play that game on the 2nd day of the 51st week of the two thousand and seventh day of our Lord otherwise known as TMI Tuesday

1. Are you done with your shopping yet?

Uh... HELL no!! I ended up with a surprisingly small list this year.. but I haven't done it yet.

2. What is your favorite sexual position?

Hmmm... there are so many and it changes so frequently. At the moment, I'd have to say any position where I'm behind. Lately, it makes me feel quite like a porn star. Her bent over the couch... on all fours on the floor... leaning against the wall of the shower.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how open are you to trying new sexual things?

I would say 9.8

4. What present are you hoping to get this year?

Sigh... only ones I would never get sadly. The list is as thus:

a) Sandy... for just one night
b) An upgraded toy to use in my favorite sport (not very PC I'm afraid and VERY expensive.. at least $2k)
c) I would say a new truck... but I actually got that.. well kinda... not quite new but close. So I'll modify and say a new truck WITHOUT PAYMENTS!

5. With your current partner (or your last partner) how often was the sex better than just good?

Meh... I'd say 50/50.


Bonus (as in optional):Can a relationship that you are part of survive on sex alone? Could it survive a prolonged period of abstinence?

If it were really, REALLY hot sex? Maybe. I think my ego would get in the way ultimately though. Part b? Absolutely not. Quit putting out, and I will absolutely go somewhere else. Though, my Dad and step-Mom's relationship has survived for 23 years with abstinance. He goes elsewhere. She seems to accept it somewhat. So what do I know.

The Record Skips... Skips... Skips... Skips...

Why in the hell do I do the same shit over and over?! I manage to infatuate myself with people who will never ever return the sentiment. And it's not so much I want to fall madly in love with someone. I just want to have a little spice... mischief.. hell ANYTHING in my life.

Sandy and I have continued our little dance. Mostly it's her saying outrageous shit that I know is completely false. But she says it in such a way that, for a brief moment, I believe her. Case in point, there is an event coming up around the first weekend or so in February. It is far FAR away. Out of the blue, Sandy says "Let's go to XXX event!" I respond, "I'm not going to any damned event all the way over in YYY (state)". She presses on. So I start thinking about it. It would be fun. There's nothing going on that time of year. Why not? So I tease her a little bit "Why the hell would I want to go and be a third wheel?" She replied "BF isn't going? He won't go to that part of the country because his ex-wife lives there and they run in the same circles". Ok... this just got interesting. So I said "Ok... you convinced me".

Weeks go by and I've heard absolutely no follow-through on her part. So I ask "You know.. the deadline is coming up for early registration..." Then I start getting the excuses. "But it's going to cost $XX and I'm poor.. blah blah" I said "This was YOUR idea!!" And so it goes. Finally, I know she has no intention of going to this whatsoever.

Cut to this past week. She wanted to go for drinks Fri. after work. We even talked about it right around lunch time. Then she started "Well.. I have this party to go to tonight. I can meet you for a couple of drinks then I have to go". I got off work, headed in the general direction of where we would meet. I called her. No answer. I left a voice mail. She never called me back. Finally, I said fuck it and started driving home. At this point though, I told Mrs I was going to happy hour. I couldn't very well show up home without smelling a little bit of alcohol. So I stopped by the pool hall. Wouldn't you know it. My phone rings. Sure enough.. it's Sandy. Oh and conveniently late enough so that she couldn't both get drinks and go to her party. She said "You could come by my house and have a drink or two while I get ready?" I should've said ok just to fuck with her. But she clearly made the offer knowing damned good and well I wasn't driving all the way the hell over to her place (she lives on the extreme opposite end of our county) just for a drink or two.

I ended up having a couple of beers, just enough to prove I was out, then headed home. The rest of the night I stalked around the house thinking about how stupid I am for letting her lead me on like that. So what do I do? I called her Saturday to tell her I was going to practice a little bit Sunday and she was welcome to join me (she needs it WAY more than I do). She said "That sounds great!! I'll call you before so we can meet"

Did I hear from her? Oh no!! But because I just can't up and walk out of the house, I had to make plans anyway. I finally called her. Where was she? Shopping.

Why the hell do I bother?

TMI Tuesday TIME!!!

Yes it's that time of the week where we bare our souls... lay ourselves before the blogging alter of truth... eh I'm running out of steam. TMI Time:

1. Are you and early shopper or a late shopper?

Shopping... I wouldn't so much call it shopping as more combative standing in line. Does it count if you "shop" on-line? It depends on the year and money. This year I will probably be a late shopper because of financial issues.

2. What is your favorite cartoon (current or passed)?


Oh jeeez... I used to love GI Joe. Then they stupid program directors swapped it for He-Man (blech). But I think I'd have to say the Animaniacs... a close second is Duck Tales.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how competent are you on home repair projects?

6ish. I can do most things. I have even repaired the washer and dryer myself a couple of times. I re-popcorned a ceiling (never again). But a pro-probably could do better on some things.

4. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

(Edit-- damn I forgot this one the first go-round). Driving around looking at lights.

5. Describe your favorite kiss? Do you give it or receive it?

Hershey's Dark Chocolate. Receiving duh! Wait.. is this not the right context? Oh ok. There was a girl I worked with YEARS ago... back when I had my "college" job. The big boss has a severe crush on her. You had to know that boss, but it wasn't one of those creepy boss crushes. He was genuinely a nice guy. At least 30 years her senior. The poor guy was seriously conflicted. I don't even remember her name now. I'll call her Becky. Anyway, we had a christmas party. My girlfriend had to work. She didn't want to go with the boss. So we went together. We always debated whether or not she was straight. She had a tiny bit of butch about her. But she wore it in such a sexy way no one cared. Anyway, the party was cool. Afterwards, I drove her back to her car. When we got there, she said "I always kiss my dates good night". I leaned over. She have me, without a doubt, the hottest kiss I have ever had. Extremely soft.. I was actually caught off guard how soft. Made me want to melt.

Then she left.

Bonus (as in optional):What is the best holiday gift you have ever gotten? Best you've given?

A go-cart when I was a kid. I knew I was getting it (I found it covered up in my grandparents garage). It almost killed me waiting for it (I was at that age when christmas couldn't possibly come any slower). I rode that thing every day for a couple of years. I only stopped riding it when I warped the main sprocket and couldn't find a replacement the right size.

The Holiday

I got home from the match around 7:30/8ish Saturday night. The ride from mid-state city takes about an hour and a half. Somewhere around the 1/2 way mark it hit me, we had been on our feet all day. Literally, we never sat down once we got there... from about 9:30am to about 6pm. There aren't any chairs or benches. We even ate lunch on the way from one place to the next.

It has been unusually warm here for the last couple of days. Almost late spring temperatures. While I did dress appropriately, I wore the grime of the activities. I hobbled my way to the shower. It was my intention to have a beer or glass of wine, then crash after my shower.

I was so tired and I figured I wouldn't be up for long, so I went straight from the shower to the kitchen no bothering to put anything on. Mrs had a glass of wine waiting for me. I was about to sit down when she said "Don't we have several movies from Netflix we haven't watched? Haven't we had them for a few weeks?"... sigh... I said "Ok.. just pick whatever you want. I'll meet you in the movie room".

Still naked except for a glass of wine, I hobbled my way to the movie room. Mrs picked "The Holiday". I thought "Oh great!! She'll fall asleep and I'll be stuck watching the damned chick flick". I braced myself for the inevitable conclusion to the night.

The movie was mildly humorous. To my surprise Mrs stayed conscious. Somewhere about the time the girls were exploring each others houses, Mrs leaned against me. Her hand rested squarely on my cock. For the next 10 minutes or so of the movie she simply let her hand rest.

About the time Cameron Diaz met the brother, the hand started to wander. Little circles under my balls... stroking the length of my cock with her index finger. In spite of my exhaustion, the boy slowly came to life. The wandering soon turned to a firm grasp and squeeze. Her hand slid the length of my cock ever so slowly with deliberate pressure.

Somewhere about the time Kate Winslet met the old man next door (a little disturbing timing wise...) Mrs casually lowered her head to my cock. She started slowly. Casually running her mouth the length of my cock as she did with her hand.

I had no clue what was happening in the movie at this point. For all I know aliens invaded and gang banged both women. In Pluffland however, Mrs quickly peeled her PJs from her body. Facing me, she lowered herself onto my cock. I grabbed her ass hard (seems to be the new thing to make her cum almost instantly). She actually raised her knees so that she ground herself as far as possible on my cock.

She leaned back sliding her finger to her clit (another new trick of hers) and started cumming instantly. I pretty much sat back and enjoyed the ride. She threw herself against my body letting the waves pass.

I kinda pushed her a little bit so that she got the idea to turn around. She leaned back against my body lowered herself onto my cock again. We rocked together with subtle motions. Not so much fucking. More of a continual slide. Again, her hand snaked to her clit. Again she lifted her knees taking as much of me as she could. I grabbed her hips and moved her back and forth across my lap. She cried out and came again.

As soon as her 2nd orgasm passed, she hopped off my lap, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the floor. She threw her legs over my shoulders as my cock pushed into her pussy again. This time, there was no subtle motion. No slow melt of bodies. No luxuriating in slow pleasure. We fucked. Her hands went to my ass urging me deeper, faster, harder. Her nails sunk into my thighs as she started to cum again. I felt my own orgasm building. She wrapped her legs around my waist pulling me deep inside as I exploded.

I honestly don't remember much else about the movie. I think the girls found love or some shit like that. Somehow it seemed irrelevant.

Blechhh....

Saturday 4 of us piled into a car and traveled to mid-state city to participate in my redneck sport. The event was for charity. All in all about 100 people showed up to participate. My division had 20. The day was really, REALLY long. I did well taking 2nd in my division. It was my best finish ever.

Unfortunately the day was bittersweet for me. One of the main attractions to the event is a massive prize table from various sponsors. Usually, at these things, the prize table is reserved for the top X finishers. You have to finish well to make it to the prize table. This particular event, because it was for charity, the prize table was based on random drawings. And they had a massive amount of prizes. You basically have a 50/50 chance. Of course I didn't win anything. After the drawings, they gave out awards (a certificate) for the top finishers. In a bizarre twist of circumstances, even though I finished 2nd, I didn't even get a certificate. They only recognized 1st place for each division. They would recognize 1st through X place for each handicap within the division depending on the number of people with that handicap. I was the highest handicap in my division and the ONLY person with my handicap. There were a TON of people the next handicap down from mine. So I was the 1st of 1 for my handicap. 2nd in my division. But because I was the only 1, they gave 1st through 3rd place for people who finished BELOW me, but within their handicap. The REAL pisser was, I just got bumped up in handicap last week.

I left feeling a little bit depressed. Considering recent events with my job etc. it just seems like my bad "luck" continues to pound me. I finally have a great finish, and not only do I not get any recognition, I don't even win a 50/50 raffle. It's like no matter how hard I try, or how good I do something, I'm invisible.

Well... now wasn't that a depressing little tirade. I actually was going to write about a particularly erotic time Mrs and I had after the match. But now I'm all depressed. I'll come back to it later.

Oh yeah... and I bought a truck.

HNT... Sort of

I was re-reading the last couple months of posts. Things have been so hectic I wasn't sure what I had and hadn't posted. Couple that with my short-lived, recent ability to take pictures and I stumbled across my halloween pics. Here is my costume from this year:

Dear Pluff

Why oh why do the women in my life see me as some sort of confidant, confessor, fucking advice column?

Let me back up. I started my new/old job back last Monday. I took Thanksgiving on the "other" company. Unfortunately, I was set to work a major sport of the redneck variety Wed - Sun of this past week. My boss was kind enough to let me go ahead and work it.

I rode with Sandy to the event. It is in another state about 5 hours away. As you well know, I am totally smitten with Sandy. It seemed like our relationship had maybe taken a little tiny baby step towards another level. You see, she was having computer problems. I went over to her house a couple of times to try to get her going. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it. But I kinda felt a little something... a sort of... tension while I was there.

Anyway, I knew her BF was going to be at the match. She would most likely be shacking up with him. The entire way there, (the trip ended up taking almost 7 hours... long story_) all she would talk about was the BF and what I thought about things he said. Sandy is at a point in her life where her biological clock is jumping up and down on her head. She wants to be married and have babies NOW. So I listened while she told me about how he introduced her to his mother on the 2nd "date". How he pushed and pushed for her to move to his state (with several other states in between here and there). But he hasn't popped the question and he shuts down when she tries to talk to him about it. I actually witnessed it myself. He said to one of the competitors after someone make a risque remark "Hey!, That's my future wife you're talking about!" She's telling him they either need to move ahead or call it off. Ugh... I was pretty ready to be out of the car when we got there.

The rest of the weekend was pretty fun. A bust on the salacious front. Though a bunch of guys including the guy I roomed with went to a strip club right across from the hotel. I just couldn't see dropping a few hundred dollars for that now. I really wanted to go though. Ah well...

I'm BAAAAaaackkk... and with TMI Tuesday at that!

Oi what a crazy couple of weeks. Long story short, I'm back at the old job as if I never left. Benefits, parking, my PTO is still as it was. Except I lost my cube. No more windows for me.

Anyway, had a lot of fun doing redneck stuff most of last week. I'll come back to that. But in the meantime, It's:

TEEEEE --- EEEMMMM --- IIIII ----TaaaaAOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHSSS day time!!!!

1. If your partner buys you a sexy little "something" is it a present for you or for your partner?

Oh them of course. But does it really matter? I mean, we all get something in the end.. huh huh... "in the end" huh huh!!

2. What are 3 characteristics of "your type"?

They are all kind of the same. But for me, attitude, personality, and someone with gorgeous eyes. I've met some smoking hot women with horrible attitudes and personality and it was a major turnoff. But give me someone feisty with a really sexy charm about them, and I will go for them over "smoking hot" every time.

3. On a scale of 1-10, how good a cook are you?

I say 5. Mrs says 8.

4. Tattoos: Love them or hate them. On you? On a partner?

Love them. I was going to get one (my first) commensurate with the new job. A kind of symbol representing both the new company AND the attitude the company name represents... but... well... that clearly didn't go so well.

5. Stubble: Good or bad? How often do you shave?

On girls? BAAAD! I shave every day. I trim a couple of times a week.



Bonus (as in optional):What are a few of your favorite things (both sexual non-sexual)?

Eating pussy. The nape of the neck. Moans and or screams. First kiss.

Non-sexual, my daughter. Riding my motorcycle. A beautiful day.

The Fall Continued...

I was still very emotional when I wrote my last post. I glossed over a few key facts about my demotion. I've played the series of events over and over in my head. The what's and the how's all seem trivial. I know in my heart I put forth my best effort. I worked harder than I've ever worked. I got more accomplished in a week and a half than I have in several months in my prior life.

On monday I got an inkling of what was coming. I got called into an office to discuss the progress of our infrastructure. It was made clear to me I was already behind and they expected more from me. What followed were some of the most stress filled days of my life. I ramped into high gear. I worked until 2am that night. The following day I went home around 7pm to eat with my family and spend a little time with C before getting back to work. I started to get physically ill. Nauseuous. In between running to the toilet to throw up, I continued to work from home until I solved one of the biggest problems holding me back.

The next day, I felt pretty good about things. I had things moving ahead. I was on-schedule for the renegotiated deadline when the boss came into my office to discuss a few things. This is when she hit me with the demotion. I was completely floored. Let me explain what the demotion entailed. Title's are so irrelevant in this company because we're so small right now. I could call myself anything I want because in reality, it's just me doing what I do. So there was no demotion in title. Instead, I got my pay cut by $20,000. We argued. I went over the list of things including the expectations since monday and where I stood relative to that. The answer was "I know. But it wasn't fast enough". And that cost me $20,000.

That afternoon I contacted my old boss at the previous job. They hadn't filled my position. In a weird twist of fate, it turns out because of the timing of events and the HR rules and laws of my institution and state, I can get my old job back as if I never left as long as I start within X number of days. I had a great meeting with my old boss and his boss. I have another interview with the BIG boss tomorrow morning.

Over the weekend I went to a paintball outing we had set up a long time ago (with my old boss). Afterwards, he and I sat around and talked a lot... man to man... friend to friend. I would be fooling myself if I didn't think he was looking for something as the boss. But I really felt it was more of a friend to friend talk. He told me, a lot of the information I got came straight from higher ups and that if I knew, then it was pretty much set in stone that I'm back. I'm not taking anything for granted until I get a welcome back from the big boss tomorrow.

I hope to god it's soon. I hate every second and every day I spend in that place. Friday was miserable trying to get work done knowing I was doing my best to leave the place.

This whole experience has completely fucked with me. I've been an emotional wreck ever since. The one thing that has helped me keep it together has been my Daughter and Mrs. They have been so supportive. I get choked up just thinking about it. C came up to me Wed night and said "Daddy, I'm sorry you had a really bad day" and she put her arms around my neck and gave me the sweetest hug.

I can't help but wonder what is fucked up with me. Did I really struggle? Am I losing a step? Am I really an idiot pretending to be an admin? My self confidence is gone.

The Fall

Maybe it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. The whole thing has me in a serious personal crisis. I stepped into this company knowing I was the whole show as far as infrastructure. I knew it was going to be a challenge, but one I could handle. Evidently I'm not handling it fast enough. I could be bitter. I could be angry. I'm definitely frustrated and feeling... rudderless. I got demoted yesterday. Even though I've been working 20 hours a day. I worked until 2am Mon/Tues. I'm not getting things done fast enough. Never mind I built a phone system, a network, and an e-mail system in the week and a half I've been there... from an empty office by the way.

I don't know what my problem is. I communicate too much. Maybe too little. I called my old boss and asked if I could interview for my old job. I'm in a serious tail spin right now.

First Day

Haven't had time to post much. Our first few days consisted of assembling furniture, sitting on the floor a lot (because of the painters, we couldn't actually use the furniture), calling people, calling more people... oh yeah from the cell phone in the parking lot of the building because we get NO reception inside. I finally got our broadband hooked up yesterday.

Anyway, nothing much juicy going on other than work work.

Last Day

Friday was my last day at my old job. It's insane. I realized as I walked out, I had been employed there for 16 years. SIX-TEEN fucking years! It was my first "real" job. My ONLY real job. God I hope I know what I'm doing.

I stopped by the Krispy Kreme on the way in and picked up some doughnuts. My parting gift to the people I have known for so long. I got to work before anyone else. Except for my boss's boss. He wanted to chat with me for a little bit. It was a good talk. I really like this guy. He's super religious. But not one of those blind fundamentalists who has to "save" everyone. He leads a very well balanced life and was someone I felt completely safe working for (as is he always had our best interests at heart).

One of my co-workers asked me to do one last task as I was walking out the door Thursday. I knocked that out quickly. Took care of some last minute paperwork. Took the last load of stuff to my truck. Returned the last bit of equipment I had at my house.

By this point a couple of co-workers trickled in. I shook hands with guys. The only girl on my team, affectionately called Pig Pen throughout this blog, cried. It was kinda touching. Then I left. And that was that.

I did try to pick a fight with Chris. I sent e-mail to everyone BUT him inviting them to partake of the doughnuts. For him, I took a tampon and wrapped it with a ribbon. I left it on his keyboard. The message, "one day too you'll finally be a man". He didn't bite though. Perhaps I'll see him on a wed. night.

I handed in my badge and a leave slip for the rest of the day to the boss expecting a nice relaxing day. Maybe even stirring up a little mischief somewhere. Unfortunately, the new boss had other plans. We are literally walking into an empty office Monday morning. He had me buying buying buying. It went on all day off and on until around 11pm.

And that.. was as they say... that.

TEE - EM - EYE - TEE - YOU - EEE - usday - part 2

God I'm so wishy washy. I included this in the previous post. Then I decided to break it up. Maybe this one will stick. TMI Tuesday came late today. Here it is:

1. If they kept stats of your sex life like they do in sports, what would you lead the league in? what all time record would you hold?

I'm sure somehow it would be for masturbation. Number of times... number of times in one day... Maybe not so current. But I'm sure for lifetime achievement.

2. What song gets you in the mood to have sex? best music to fuck to? best music to make love to?

Best song to get in the mood for sex: Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye
Best music to fuck to: For a while I was hearing "Fuck the Pain Away" - Peaches
only because I like the first part "Suckin on my titties
like you wanted me callin me all the time...."
Best music to make love to: Hrmmm... I prefer the music of the act.. breathing..
sighing.. moaning... screaming


3. Where is your favorite place to have sex in your house/apartment?

Gah this is so boring. The bed. The couch is a close 2nd. Most other places are too tough on my knees.

4. (girls) Have you sent or given your used panties to a guy? Do you know what happened to them? (guys) Have you taken/asked for a girls panties before? What did you do with them? (non-breeders) What is the protocol for this "tradition"?

Nope.

5. What makes a kiss a great to you?

The best kiss I ever had was soft and wet. Not too wet. Perfectly wet.

Bonus: Who pays for a date? If the girl asks a guy out, does she pay? If you are interested in same sex partners, how do you determine who pays?

Me. Period.

TEE - EM - EYE - TEE - YOU - EEE - usday

"if you ain't got no tuesday take yo' GEEK. ASS. HOME!"

Sadly, as I'm writing this... no TMI Tuesday postings. Hrmph. So I'll regale you with some other TMI.

Last night Mrs went to the girls night out. I was supposed to go over to Sandy's (for the first time) to help her with her computer. She was still working late into the evening when I called. So Mrs went out to the girlfriend's instead.

I crawled into bed around 11:00. Somewhere between 11 and midnight I feel Mrs crawl all up on me. When she's drunk and horny there's no ease into things. No sublety. No "psst... are you awake". No the next thing I knew her body is draped completely across mine her hand assaulting my cock. As I was just lamenting it seemed like forever since we had sex, my cock sprung to life immediately. She didn't waste too much time throwing back the covers and uncerimoniously mounting me.

Funny how I just talked about this in the last TMI Tuesday. Usually, when I'm on bottom I can hang out and let her go until she comes as many times as she can take. Except last night. For whatever reason, the combination of time between fuckings, perhaps the uncerimonious way she assaulted me, I don't know. But I knew quickly there was no way it was going to happen that way last night. She ground my cock deep inside her pussy quickly building to her orgasm. She pulled her knees up along side my body as she began to shake. Much to my surprise, I was cumming with her.

Then she totally pulled a guy moment. She rolled over and passed out. Heh!

It's the FINAL COUNT-DOOOOWWWWN!

Cue the synthesizers! Eh or not.

I thought perhaps this morning my last day would actually be this PAST friday unbeknownst to me. I pulled up to my garage. Swiped the card to enter and... nothing. Tried again. Nothing. I ended up having to back out pissing off god knows how many people behind me. Turns out it's just a system snafu and has nothing to do with my impending exit. But for a brief moment I thought someone had expedited my last day without my knowledge.

Last night Mrs curled up in my lap. I took a very late shower and was sitting on the couch in my "lounging" shorts. These are the ratty assed pair of oh so comfortable shorts I throw on to be as close to naked as possible without scarring the wee one. Her hand snaked up into one leg grasping my cock. Within seconds I hear "sssnnnnxxxxxxxxx..." So much for that. Which strikes me as ironic... well maybe ironic isn't the right word. It just strikes me. The whole weekend Mrs has been acting like she wants some. But when I make myself available I get nothing. Then she made a comment when I squeezed her ass in passing to the effect of "thank god. I didn't think I was going to get ANY". WTF?!?! Do I have to grab her and shout "Let's go FUCK NOW PLEASE!"

I tried to think back to the last time we had sex. Granted it hasn't reached the drought level some bloggers I read have experienced. In fact, it has probably only been a few weeks. But, considering the state of our relationship a few weeks is far too long. Gaah!

Halloween Party

Last night was the annual halloween party. Last year Mrs and I went all out with a Mrs Pac-man (me) and Blinky (her). It took 3 weeks to build from PVC and fabric. It took God knows how much money in supplies. This year we decided to go much more simplistic. It took me a grand total of 2 hours to put mine together. It wasn't anything spectacular. But it was a costume.

While at the party, Mrs and I were standing around in the kitchen chatting with a friend. The friend looked at me and said "I just want to throw him down and hump him in that costume". I was only 1/2 paying attention when she said that. Mrs looked like she could've jumped her and kicked her ass right there. The friend had this smirk on her face that quickly changed when she realized what she had said and Mrs was standing right next to her.

That was pretty much the highlight of the evening. Later, I was sitting on the back porch talking to another couple of friends including the one who made the comment. The conversation got all... clandestine. Turns out, there was a couple who used to come to the party who were big time swingers. Scandalous in this crowd. Not so much to me but we all know this is an alter-ego for me. Turns out they live just a block or two away from last nights party. The friend (who made the comment) and another had an invite to the swingers party. They left early. Damn... how do I scam an invite to THAT one.

The rest of the party sucked. The hostess has been hanging out with a completely different crowd. We used to have a group of people who did everything together. Then everyone had kids etc. etc. Now the "new" friends far outnumber the old. And I have to say I'm not crazy about the new friends. There are a couple of really young, really attractive girls in the "new" friends. Except that are SO fucking obnoxious. Their husbands are even worse. We see these people every year, and every year they call you by your costume name and never remember your actual name. Every year, all the youngers get WAY too drunk and end up throwing up somewhere. It's just no fun anymore. Sigh...

Ah well.. I did have someone want to hump me though.

Distracted

I had every intention of posting something good today. I was inspired by a fellow blogger who mentioned me. Unfortunately, goings on at work have distracted me. I can't shake the anger I feel.

My team at work is an eclectic mix of people. You have the old professor type who is approaching the end of his career. A brilliant but easily distracted young guy who has such great potential if it weren't for his utter lack of impulse control. A hippie type girl. The super type A boss. And Chris. I used to call him X because I really could think of a good moniker. Chris is about 32ish. I have known him as an acquaintance for years. But I have only worked directly with him for the last 5 or so years. Chris is just... missing something. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. He just doesn't... get people. He grew up with upper middle class parents who, by all evidence, were the "keeping up with the Jones" types. I would say Chris has probably inherited the worst attributes from his family. The worst being his arrogance. He is one of the most full of himself people I know.

This is the same guy I spoke of who just could never seem to connect with women. He is the one who dated Taylor WAAAY back. The same guy Chester effectively cock blocked.

He has been one of the most vocal Chester haters in the group. A downside (or plus side depending on which side of the issue you're on) of his personality is his lack of a filter.

When management finally did something about Chester. Chris was the first to ask "When is the post-departure happy hour/celebration". He was almost giddy for a week or so after the announcement was made.

That is until I made MY announcement. Or more importantly, the other individual whom I am stealing made his. For the last 2 weeks, he has been an absolute and complete ASS to me. At first I thought he was just in a pissy mood one day. But soon it became obvious it was directed at me. In our last team meeting, any time he talked about the other guy leaving, he stared directly at me. Finally, and it was debatable whether he was talking about me or Chester, and again while looking me directly in the eye asked "So when is the celebration". I finally asked the boss about it. He told me he was really upset about the guy I stole and, because I'm the one who did it, he hates me. I totally don't get that. The guy is supposed to be Chris' friend. Our company has shit on him for the last 6 years. He is the only guy I have ever known who is truly indispensable. He makes probably 30% less than I do and that was after a token raise. We're taking care of him. His raise will amount to about 50% putting him at least 20k above the average for this area. Plus he's getting equity in the company. I would think a true friend would be happy for someone. Especially since he was also once leaving the company himself.

Today I found out he told Chester, the guy who was the root of all bad things in our office, "I'll go to your going away lunch. But I won't go to Mr's".

What the fuck?!? This is the guy who I stood up for when I told Chester to back off of Taylor. This is the guy who got another job, then at the last minute it fell through because of a background check. I never once ridiculed him. This is the same guy who I have been working on getting a position at my new company set up for. And he has been nothing but hostile.

I'm actually really upset about it. To the point where I'm seriously thinking about just dropping my id etc on the Boss' desk early one morning next week and taking the rest of the week as vacation.

TEE EM IIIII... uh HA ah.. uh HA uh!!

I have an exit interview shortly... so I'll cut right to the chase. It's TMI TIME

1. What are your 7 favorite tactile things that turn you on? Sex (like oral, or penetrative) cannot be an answer. (Examples: silk, light tickling, etc).

Seven of them?!?! Wow. Ok here's a stab:

1. Smell - Some perfumes have a pavlovian effect on me.
2. Body Contact - I was very surprised Saturday night when I danced with Sandy and just the
contact had me a little bit aroused. Took me back to Jr. High.
3. Sound - Hearing the sounds a woman makes while experiencing pleasure.
4. Kissing - There's nothing like the first kiss to get me going.
5. Fingernails - when run lightly down my back
6. Showering - The warm water, slippery soap
7. Sight - Seeing someone you're about to have sex with for the first time. Watching
their face when they are enjoying themselves.

2. What are your non-genital errogenous zones and what do you like done to them?

The back of the neck. Kiss... nibble...

3. What sounds get you sexually charged?

Any genuine sound a woman makes while being pleasured. I hate contrived sounds. Even if it's just heavy breathing. If I know it's from pleasure I get incredibly turned on.

4. After losing your virginity, what is the longest you’ve gone without penetrative sex?

About 6 months give or take. Right after I split up with the ex-Mrs.

5. What is your least favorite sexual position? Why don't you like it?

At the moment I'd have to say my least favorite is one I really like to do BECAUSE it's my least favorite. Let me es-plain. Woman on top is probably my least favorite. I guess I like to be in charge. Depending on the circumstances, when a woman is on top I go from indifferent to flat out turned off. However, given that a woman experiencing great pleasure is an incredible turn on for me, AND at the moment, Mrs can ride me until she cums hard, I actually enjoy doing it because I can lay back and let her go for as long as she wants. So my indifference is kinda offset by a) stamina and b) Mrs pleasure becoming my pleasure.

Bonus (as in optional):If you could sexually dominate or submit to 5 people - any 5, currently living or deceased - which 5 would it be?

Geez... again with the number of answers.

1. Jessica Alba
2. Scarlet Johanson
3. Famke Janssen
4. Condi Rice (just cause I still think she's a closet freak)
5. Nancy Pelosi (cause if anyone deserved a good pounding bent over something)

Oi the new skeletons

Sometimes the more things change.. the more they stay the same. Or some shit like that.

Mrs went out of town this weekend. Originallly, C and I were going to have a Daddy daughter weekend. But through a clusterfuck at work I had a scheduling conflict. The Mrs-in-law offerend to watch C. Then, at the last minute, she decided to take C out of town to visit with all the family bitties who love C to death (these would be the 80+ year old aunts etc) leaving me to my own devices.

I wish I could regail you with stories of debauchery. Some young lovely contorted into various positions, whilst I pounded away with my man-meat (aw yeahh!!). I did try my best. I even had the opportunity had I made a better choice of evening plan (depending on your point of view). But first let me back up a little bit.

I have been pretty slack about my postings here. I do have my reasons though so bear with me while I esplain. First, the depature of Chester has my office in a state of paranoia. Before I made my own announcement, one of the guys on my team, one who does a lot of internet traffic scrutiny, said in a very ominous tone "I wouldn't watch any porn at work for a while if I were you". Hmmm... I presume there is much packet sniffing going on as it pertains to Chester. My paranoia has been sufficiently piqued.

Secondly, there have been a few minor goings on and transpirations a transpiring I have been reluctant to write about. First, the Wed. night before last the pool team played in the sister bar for a 2nd week. At the end of the night I sat at the bar nursing my beer. To my surprise, Sarah's team came and sat down all around me. Sarah even sat a couple of seats over. I started chatting with a girl on her team. The conversation went south quickly. It all started with something about her dog dragging a dildo out in front of company. Anyway, I had been meaning to have a conversation with Sarah about the whole beginning of season clusterfuck and how I was kinda blindsided by the whole situation. I was drunk... we were all laughing including Sarah. So I kinda broke the ice in my blunt force way. I asked "So... Sarah... what the FUCK WAS THE WHOLE DEAL EARLIER ABOUT?!?!?!" (laughing of course... but still loud about it) I asked her if little retardo thought about how stupid it was to smash her only means of communications with me to tell me NOT to come to play that night. We all got a good laugh about it. Evidently, they broke up shortly after. Which then lead to "GOD DAMNIT!! IF YOU'RE GONNA PUT ME THROUGH THAT, AT LEAST STAY WITH HIM!!!! (more laughing)". Anyway, the teamates left. Sarah sidled up to me. Before long she grabbed my hand and held it while we talked. Finally I could hardly hold my eyes open any longer. We left. Outside I gave her a quick hug and said "Seriously, I wish only the best things for you in spite of the bullshit from before". She gave me a quick and surprising kiss on the lips. I didn't let her linger. Quickly I said Good night and left.

Lastly, and God help me, I have been hanging out and chatting with Sandy a fair amount lately. Lunches here and there. Phone calls. Etc. Somewhere along the lines I realized, in spite of my feable attempts to keep Sandy at a "friend" level, I am still completely infatuated with her. And she has to know it. She lays just enough out there to keep me tagging along. At this point, I have almost resigned myself to play the role of the puppy inflating her ego. Or maybe she really has feelings and is just as conflicted as me. But better at sticking to her principles than me. I dunno. But it leads back to my choices for mischief over the weekend.

Soooo... I found myself alone Saturday night. A friend of Sandy's is a vocalist for a local band. I have been meaning to get out to see them. But schedules up to this point just weren't letting it happen. However, she was playing Saturday night... kinda late. Sandy said she would be out there and cajoled me into agreeing to meet her. At 10:30pm. In the meantime, I really didn't have anything to do. So I swung by the bar where we play on Wed nights. Guess who was tending bar? Sarah. The place was dead. I ordered some food and beer. She hung out as much as customers would allow and chatted with me. I asked her how late she had to work. She gave me this really mischievious grin and said "Closing". Then she asked what I was doing out on a saturday night. When I explained my temporary bachelorhood I got another mischievious grin.

Around 10:00 I was still chatting with Sarah. I had a pretty decent buzz on. The decision was upon me. Stay with Sarah and probably get somewhere, even if it was just kissing. Or go to listen to the band and most likely end up alone and disappointed.

As improbable as it seemed, I went with my heart and went to hear the band. They were awesome. Really tight. I was going to give it until 11:30 and if I didn't see Sandy, head back to the bar and see where I could get with Sarah. Sandy showed up around 11:15. We hung out with a bunch of her friends. We danced a couple of times. Her friends had to leave. She had left her car at their house and asked if I would be able to give her a ride. It was a good 45 minutes the wrong way from my house. But hey... sometimes you just have to sacrifice.

The evening pretty much ended as you can guess. I drove her to her car somewhere around 1:30am. We parted without so much as a kiss. I got home somewhere around 3am (by the time I found my way back across the county). Passed out. Then had to get up at 8 to do my work thing. Damnit.

I had lunch with her again. I still can't help it. I'm still completely hung up on her. Geez I'm an idiot.

So there it is. My eventful uneventful night, my shameful re-association with Sarah, my appalling infatuation with Sandy and the lenghts I am clearly willing to go to for the glimmer of hope I could do something. I'm gonna hang mah head loooowwww.

Ta Ta Ta TOOOOOOSday!!

This TMI Tuesday is so NOT in my character... but what the hell. You can't be a total perv all the time. Yes there is a sensitive side... damnit!


1. What was the first movie you saw on a date?

Wow... I had completely forgotten, then it came to me in a flash. The first movie I saw on a date was Excalibur. I was in a youth play comedy about King Arthur. The director took us to see that. I was "going with" a girl in the play at the time.

2. Who was the first person you kissed on a date? [First name is fine.]

Dawn. At a roller rink (oh yeah...). I inadvertantly felt her boob... no really.. it was an accident.

3. Where was the first place you ever "parked" (on a date)?

I think it was a boat landing at the lake in my hometown. But my HS girlfriend and I "parked" so much in so many places it honestly has all become a blur.

4. Have you ever gone on a date with someone you met via the internet? If not, would you?

Nope. Yup.

5. What is the most romantic thing you have done on a first date?


Romance?!? What is this word you speak of!! Sweaty sex of course! Not! That's kind of a tough one because most of the time, at least for me, the first date has always been the "safe" date. Go to dinner. Make sure no one is psychotic. 2nd date however, now we're talking. I think I a) cleaned my house b) set out flowers and candles throughout c) made a spectacular dinner.

Bonus (as in optional):Describe the best date you have ever been on.

The best date I have ever been on really wasn't a date. I'll es'plain. While I was married to my first wife, there was a girl in my office with whom I was very close (ok.. my last attempt at proper grammar). My wife went out of town... her BF went out of town. We decided to grab some dinner. It became pretty obvious in the middle of dinner there was a very strong attraction. I live in a very old, romantic city with a lot of water front. Afterwards, we wandered aimlessly through the sidestreets amongst 200+ year old houses, then to the waterfront. We reached a point in the evening where we either would kiss.. or not. We didn't. Which sounds like a really lousy date. And maybe it was. But up until the end, it became a date worthy of movies and, at least in my mind, one of the most emotionally intense nights of my life including both wedding nights.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Enough of that.. All this talk about romance and "dates"... I feel all... respectable now.

I gave my notice yesterday. Though... not necessarily officially. My offer is contingent on a few things with the new company. I haven't really gone into great detail what the new job entails. I will say a) it's a brand spanking new company b) I'm in on the ground level c) it's an in-demand market segment with no front-runner. My contingencies are big ones, but all indications are (and by indications I mean the frequency of meetings.. legal filings... hr meetings.. leases etc.) the go ahead will come in the next day or two. The pessimist in me is still nagging me about it. But over the last few months, I have learned the executives for this venture are absolutely 100% for real. Time and time again, my bullshit meter rose and every single time, they squashed it to zero convincingly. So IF things fall apart, it will be because they have either a) run their course or b) have pulled off the greatest bullshit job in history.

Up until my resignation, the leap of faith on my part, compared to people who have already moved across country for this, has been incredibly minimal. I firmly believe I owe them this leap, and even if things get muddied, in the end, assuming they do work out, it will only show a strong commitment on my part.

My notice was surprisingly uneventful. I am stealing another person from my organization. The impact was much more severe for him. He is integral to many MANY projects and is truly irreplaceable on a few. Of the couple hundred employees here, this guy is probably the ONLY one who can make that claim legitimately. Which is why I wanted to steal him. My exit interview is next week. I think I will probably get yelled at for that one then. Other than that, I'm almost disappointed.

Endings...

and Beginnings... Break out all high school and college graduation speeches... insert appropriate cliche here... "The wind of our future.. rudder of our ship... not an end but a beginning" blah blah blah...

The little business opportunity has come to fruition. I signed the offer letter at lunch. Now I'm FUUUUCCCKKKIIIINNGGGG TEEERRRRIIIIFFFIIIIEEEEEDDD!!!!!

But in a good way.

Tuesday night's alright for fightin!!

Yeah yeah that's not the way the song goes. But for today it will do. Last night Mrs came home from work crying. I asked her to drop off a new gi I bought to have the dojo patch sewn on. She went by a place right by C's school. When she went to pick it up later in the afternoon, she didn't have any cash on her. The bill was $5. She asked the lady if she could write a check. The lady turned to a foreign man, his accent seemed russian (according to Mrs), and asked. He began to yell at my wife about how ridiculous it was to write a check for $5 and what a waste of time so on and so on. Mrs calmly asked the lady to write her a slip so she could come back and pick it up later. Then she tried to tell the man he didn't need to be so rude, she was only asking a question. The man wouldn't even look up. She cried all night about it.

So today, I'm going to go pick a fight.


In the meantime... It's TMI TUUUUUUUEEEEEEEESSSSSSDAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!

1. Wash up, cuddle or fall asleep?

Only one? I guess I'd have to say wash up. We usually have things to do.

2. Have you ever fake orgasms?

As a guy it's pretty hard to do. But yes.. I have "faked" it as best I could once or twice. It seems like once I had one of those porn moments where I could fuck all night... except I got tired and bored. Another I was only 1/2 interested in the girl and once we got into it she had some really annoying behaviors killing the mood. I seriously doubt I fooled anyone.

3. In any 24 hour period, what is the most number of time you have ever had sex?

This sounds pretty weak but I think 3 times. In my defense they were with different people and I'm counting people not orgasms.

4. Have you ever had sex or give/received oral sex while you were driving a car?

Yup. Damn! Has it really been that long? Sigh...


5. What do you think the average number of sexual partners your sex has in their lifetime (so for me a male)? Do you think most people lie when asked?

10. I would imagine it depends on who is asking. Mrs has never asked. I'm not sure how I would answer if she did. I have told other people though.



Bonus (as in optional):Can men and women be "just friends?" (Explain)

Reluctantly. Every guy, with the exception of gay men, look at a woman and wonder what she would be like naked.

Back to normal... or as much as it ever is

I'm am getting to flippin' old for this late night, early rise shit!

Wed. night, pool night, we played at the sister bar in next town over. My day started off royally going to shit. I won't bore you with the details, but I wasted a weeks worth of work in a snowball effect deal. But by the time the day was over, I had recovered. That and I was still dancing a jig at the prospect of a Chesterless workplace. I made it to the bar in rare form.

I called Sandy and told her to meet me. Much to my surprise she did. The usual shit talking ensued. At one point, she leaned in close and said "You know.. if you were divorced I'd drop BF for you". Whoa!

She left early for an appointment. Our matches got underway shortly after. We kicked ASS!! At least in 8-ball. I won mine. The team took all 5 matches. Don't know how we did in 9-ball. Afterwards, a couple of the guys sat at the bar. We were chatting with the bar tender, Kate, while finishing our beers. Around 12:30, Kate walked to the front door and locked it. She then walked back to the bar and started setting out shot glasses. The next thing I knew, she handed me a shot glass and commanded "DRINK!". I tried to argue but she cut me off and said "You WILL drink this or you can leave!". Hey, who am I to argue.

It went downhill from there. Nothing really much interesting happened. I got really REALLY fucked up. The whole shot thing continued until around 2:30. Somewhere along the way Kate wanted me to shoot her a game of pool. Details are a little bit fuzzy, but she began to tell me her deepest darkest secrets. This always happens with me. Women feel the need to "share". Intermixed with all of the secrets and pool, she would walk to a guy playing pool at another table and kiss him. I asked her what that was all about. She confided "He's my current BF. We've been dating for a couple of weeks. But I'm still REALLY hung up on my ex-bf. I think the new bf will be a short thing". Finally I had to leave. I went to close my tab. She said "We're good sweetie. Have a nice night". Damn that was cool.

She let me out the back door (as she didn't want people to know there were "customers" still inside. On the way out she reached up, grabbed my face, and gave me a big ol' smack on the cheek followed by a really good hug. I was a little shocked. I mean, sure we talked and all but that kind of familiararity was entirely unexpected. Or maybe I'm just an anti-social prude.

I spent all day yesterday trying not to fall asleep. I still haven't caught up on sleep today either.

Next week we play at the same bar. Should be an entertaining time!

Onto better things

It's TMI TUESDAY TIME!!!! [woooooo... streamers falling from ceiling, spotlights flashing around room... Branford and crew playing my theme music]


1. Early bird or night owl?

Night owl.. though I'm becoming a reluctant early bird as of late.

2. If you could only be one, would you rather be smart or good looking?

As I already have smashing good looks and a self-proclaimed rapier wit (say it with me.. or witty rapier I can never remember)... I can't relate to the question. Yeah right. I think I'd have to say good looks.

3. Do you gossip?

No. But let me tell you what I heard about Chester. Yeah I'm thinking the last 6 months of content have pretty much been gossip... yeah...


4. On a scale of 1-10, how adventurous are you? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest)

I'd like to think a solid 8. Right up to the point where "adventure" involves a large implement in my ass... at which point I think I would shrink to a 1.


5. On a scale of 1-10, how good a kisser do you think you are? ( ditto )

I'd like to think a good solid 8 or 9.

Bonus (as in optional):What do you consider the biggest turn on out of the following? a) lingerie b) movies c) toys d) role playing e) leather f) none of this does anything for me

At the moment, I'd have to say toys. Only because I'm sadly inexperienced with them. I imagine if I were with someone daily who broke out a suitcase full of them the novelty would wear off and I'd probably be into something else.

Thank you for playing. Be sure to join us next time when we ask "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, would I still be wearing pink lace panties on my head?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Elsewhere in pluffland. I have mentioned this off and on over the last couple of months. I have been purposefully quiet about it just because as much as I'd like to think I'm not, I am in fact a bit superstitious. The business opportunity I mentioned back in august is moving ahead at an astonishing rate. People are moving... literally moving across country. We have two heavy hitter executive officers on board who have already taken the investment discussions up a level. We heard from the investment group and it looks like they will pony up money. Things are starting to happen so fast. I'm such a pessimist, when I first mentioned the opportunity I was giving it about 50/50 it would happen. Now I'm up to about 90% sure it's going to happen.

The real pisser about it all is the timing. A) I just had my evaluation at work. It went really well. My boss wanted to hear what I wanted to accomplish over the next year. We discussed a few things. In light of the impending doom of Chester, he said "well, I happen to have several projects that would've been Chester's, but I can't rely on him so take them". Now I have a couple of high priority, high visibility projects that fit exactly the goals I wanted to accomplish... damnit. B) Chester is essentially told resign or be fired.. he walks out.. nay STORMS out of the office. Two days later we get the official announcement. Now I'm anticipating giving my notice in a couple of weeks. First, the timing will be shitty for my boss because I JUST took on a couple of high priority projects. Secondly, how many people will see this as being tied to Chester's departure? Either that I was run out as well OR that I am moving on in some kind of protest. I only care in that I really don't want to burn any bridges. Let's face it. If this opportunity tanks I may still need a fallback position. I'd say I have a good two years with the new opportunity... but it is a little bit risky. If I end up trying to get a job with other teams here and they think I was somehow tainted...

I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get there. The next step for me is an "offer letter" from the new company. I know it's supposed to go out this week. I heard the same thing last week and didn't get it. But the person sending out letters is also the person who moved across country. The letter will be contingent on the investment funding. Then it will just be a waiting game. At some point I'll have to tell the boss. I'm really not looking forward to that.

Put to bed

It's done. The announcement went out about 30 minutes ago. Chester resigned.

Roller

COASTA!!!

say WHAT!!!

of lUUUuuuvvvv!!!

Damn I'm in an awesome mood today!! First, C scored her first goal in soccer. And it wasn't one of those 6 year old ball bouncing off of her feet in the melee of kids right in front of the goal. She took the ball at about midfield then dribbled it with a defender on her ass down the field and took the shot on goal. Secondly, it appeared after the pow-wow with management that Chester did in fact come to his senses (at least on outward appearance) and reacted in a manner such that he kept his job. I was extremely dissapointed because yet again, management appears not to have the balls to pull the trigger. Having said that, I know I work for a government agency and getting rid of someone almost requires and act of congress. BUT.. this morning... being the snoop that I am (I'm SO going to hell for this one).. I was "looking in his cubicle for install media I need". This was before anyone else got in. I saw a letter of resignation on his desk.

So I say...

ROLLER COASTA!!!!

[der der da da da deeeerrrrr]

SAY WHAT!!!

of luuuUUUUUUuuuvvvv!!!

Oooh ah OOOOH OOOOH OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

Haha! [pointing finger]

God I'm going to hell. Or my karma is going to reach up and take a chunk out of my ass. I've bemoaned Chester and his effect on me repeatedly over the course of this blog. I'm am under the impression it all ends today. According to my boss, the straw broke, the bridge collapsed and burned, and any other cliche for it's over. And I have to say, I'm giddy about it. Unless yet again, they are full of shit. His statement to me was to the effect of "Something bad is going to happen. His reaction will determine exactly how bad it is. Past experience indicates it's going to be real bad".

I'm trying not to gloat because a) it hasn't happened b) karma is a bitch and c) I try to be the better man. But considering everything, I just want to run up to Taylor screaming "TOLD YA SO!! TOLD YA SO!!!" while thumbing my nose and sticking out my tongue at Chester.

The downside to it all is, my weekend is completely fucked as a result. I was supposed to shoot the pool tournament for which the team from last session qualified. However, the boss is backing out because of "the bad thing". I don't think our handicaps will work if he does, oh and yeah, it will be pretty fucking awkward if "bad thing" does happen. There is a gun match in Alabama I really need to go shoot. But everything is so last minute, and I'm going to have to pick up Chester's slack at work, I just can't quite get away. Then I found out today there is a slight chance I misinterpreted the boss' motives and meaning (his subtle hints) so I may have to show up to the tournament just to protect the boss... I.e. if I back out unprovoked then Chester will know I know if you follow me. So it's all messed up.

My brain hurts thinking about it.

Last night (pool night) was pretty non-eventful. I played... I won.. my winning streak continues. The new team is pretty boring all things considered. No one to talk shit with. Not too much drama.

The only thing remotely interesting was, after it was all over, I sat at the bar drinking a beer. Sarah came waltzing over and plopped down in a chair across the bar with a guy... not the boyfriend. I thought to myself "This is interesting". They got closer and closer and before long were making out. I couldn't stop myself from chuckling. A) becuase the shithead boyfriend WASN'T the guy kissing here and B) I could see yet another body in the wake of destruction of hurricane Sarah. I really REALLY wanted to ask her what was going on. But I think she doesn't want to talk to me. I'm just so curious as to what is happening. Is new guy another dude she's fooling around with behind BF's back? Did she and BF break up? I find it all highly amusing.

TOO... MUCH... INFO

TIME!! Damn I almost forgot. Yes it's that crazy TMI Tuesday time:

1. Who did you think you would marry in elementary school?

Marry... as in girls?!? EEEEEWWWWWW!!!

2. Which muppet is your favorite? Why?

Animal... duh!!

3. Which politician would you most like to screw? [For pleasure or revenge]

Nancy Pelosi just to stuff something in her mouth. I think Condi could be a freak too... so I'd probably do her.

4. How did you first find the g-spot?

Hell I'm not sure I've ever found it! I do remember the first time I discovered I could make the ex-Mrs do really funny things by running my finger to the topish area of her slit... though not so much the g-spot. I also remember being surprised at the location of said magical button.

5. What is the best costume you've ever worn?

Best costume... oh my.. that's a long list. Last year I was Mrs Pac-Man complete with sound effects. The year before I was a smashing fat bastard. One year I was Jan Brady. Another I was little Bo-Peep (my roomate at the time was my sheep.. very hot btw). Are we detecting a pattern here? Somehow I have begun a trend with crossdressing at the halloween party we go to every year. I'm stumped this year though.. ideas?

Bonus (as in optional):Does pornography liberate or deteriorate society?

Porn? What is that?!? People watch other people... gasp... having sex?!?! Not being able to admit in polite company porn even exists... THAT'S the problem with society.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of "how did you first find" as it relates to a sexual preference. I discovered over the weekend, during a couple of particularly marathon like sex sessions with Mrs, that if I grab her ass cheeks while she's riding my cock and squeeze them hard in a sort of kneading/spreading manner, she cums with complete loss of control... repeatedly.... almost every time I squeeze.... gushing even. Not sure how long this little trick will continue to work. But it's damn fun for now.

Phfunk!

I am in such a funk of... normalcy. Blech! It's boring the hell out of me. I spent the weekend doing "family" stuff. C's birthday party was Saturday. My Mom came to visit. Good times were had by all. I should feel really warm and fuzzy about it all. But I'm not. In my head I see myself pacing back and forth bored to tears... desparately needing something interesting to happen.

Sunday afternoon we went to a house warming party. Sandy was there too. Her boyfriend from State far away from here decided at the last minute to come visit. Mrs and C went to the party too. I spent the day very subdued. About 1/2 way through the party, it kinda hit me how much I'm a part of Sandy's game play with her bf. She has this whole... desparate to be desireable thing going. To the point where she will tell her BF about all of the guys hitting on her. I'm pretty sure she thinks this will somehow make him think he had better pony up a ring or else she is going to play the field with one of her other suitors.

I am absolutely not ok with this. I have told her repeatedly she needs to cut the shit out. He's going to get pissed and dump her ass. Or worse, become a self-fulfilling deal. I.e. he'll decide to play some games of his own. At which point she will dump him. I'm all about having some fun.. but not to the point of being used for some perverted mind-fuck. Now, if this is their "game"... like HF with her husband... then ok. I could get something. They get to play their game. Everybody has fun. But I can't imagine this is anything remotely fun.

Anyway, back to the party. A few weeks ago, we were shooting a match. I hadn't seen Sandy in person in quite a while. She has lost a good amount of weight and.. well... she's looking pretty hot. Her usual cohorts weren't there yet. So she asked me to walk her through the stages and explain how she should shoot them. It was just the two of us. While we were walking, she was putting on her gear. We wear pretty specialized gear for our competitions. She was struggling with the belt loops and her belt. I asked "Do you need some help?" She turned her back towards me so I could help thread the belt through the loop. The shorts she had on were from her "fat" phase. So when I tried to push the belt through the loop, her shorts sort of... pulled out a bit so that I could see right down inside them. I got a pretty good shot of her ass and the white thong she was wearing. I think I said something like "By the way... I didn't look down your shorts. I especially didn't get a look at your white thong. And I REALLY didn't see your really nice ass". We laughed about it. I think I said something about it being a law of nature with guys. If you can see it, we HAVE to look. So we were all standing around the kitchen at the party and what does Sandy do? She started going on about me looking down her shorts and how I said I would've rather seen the pink thong instead of the white. Words SHE said much later, not me. All of this went down while Mrs was in the room. Fortunately for me, she was playing with C and didn't hear any of it. But Sandy's BF did. For a split second, I got kind of embarassed.

So this week I think I'm going to avoid talking to Sandy. This little game can go nowhere good. IF it doesn't get me divorced, there is the distinct possibility of it getting me into a fight. Maybe not so much with the current BF because he doesn't really seem to care. But it could with future BFs without a sense of humor. Somewhere in the middle is the BF deciding he's had enough of her BS and dumping her. I don't really want to be a part of any of it.

So let's check the mischief scoreboard over the last 4 months or so. Taylor.. RRRRR (buzzer sound)... nutcase.... Sarah... RRRRRR bigger nutcase.... Sandy... RRRRR shit talking nutcase.

So yet again, here I sit with no prospects, feeling like I narrowly (or maybe not so narrow) avoided potential catastrophy by shear dumb luck. And I hate every second of it.

Road Rage

I had one of those shake your head and laugh moments yesterday.

Sure I shout at cars surrounding me. I'll occasionally flip someone off. I've been known to give a quick tap of the horn if someone isn't paying attention. I'll even lay on the horn when someone eases into an intersection during gridlock and blocks my side of the intersection. Usually I try to be the better driver, not one of those "I'll shout at you for something stupid but it's ok for me to do it" types. And when I do screw up and someone gives me the finger or blows the horn because I did a bonehead move, I hold my hand up apologetically and sheepishly.

So I was leaving my parking garage the other day. There is a ton of construction going on making us take different routes once we leave the garage each and every day. Yesterday, we were directed a block or two out of the way to a 3-way redlight. I pulled up to the intersection in the right hand turn lane with a mini-van in front of me. The mini-van was stopped on a green right arrow turn signal. I carefully looked left, then right. No traffic blocking the mini-van. No pedestrians in the way. No reason for the mini-van to be sitting at a green arrow. So I honked the horn. The lady driving whipped her head around revealing the cell phone on which she was chatting away, then eased out into the road. Of course, as she was easing into the road, the arrow went yellow, then out. Damnit. About 2 seconds later, our light went green (not just the turn arrow). So I pulled out onto the road where I immediately stopped behind the same mini-van sitting in the road at another green light not 20 yards away. Again.. she was sitting for no good reason. My windows were up. I raised my hands up and mouthed (to my windshield since my windows were UP) "GOOOOOOOO!" I didn't flip her off, blow the horn, or do anything other than raise my hands... oh yeah and mouth "GOOO!". The lady spun herself around (cell phone still held to her ear), and pointed her finger at me. She was silhouetted by the sun streaming through her windshield. But I could still see the quick side to side and up and down motions of her yelling back at me. The finger point turned into the bird. At this point I was laughing because she was clearly a clueless idiot. I casually lowered the fingers on one of my raised hands into a bird of my own (remmeber, she is sitting at a green light during this). She spun back around and, realizing she was at a green light, eased forward.

Now you would think it would dawn on her what a complete idiot she was being upon seeing the green light. But oh nooo... she wasn't finished with me. I could see the jerky body movements, frantic switching of the phone from one ear to the other, the firm stabbing at the door, followed by her arm extending out of her window.. again with the bird.

I'm only going to take so much abuse before I put an end to things. I rolled my window down, extended my hand, and gave her the universal signal for "talk is cheap", which would be the "come hither and do something" wave. One of these days some 350lb linebacker is going to get out and crush me because I do this all the time... indiscriminately. In this particular case, I really, REALLY wanted to point out she had not one but TWO greenlights... and I'M the asshole?

She quickly rolled up her window.

As luck would have it, we were heading the same direction. I was headed to C's school to pick her up. This particular day, I chose an obscure, and not completely obvious route to get there to avoid traffic. Evidently, she had the same thought. We turned right.. then left... right again.. over a bridge... off an exit... the whole time with me a respectful distance, but matching move for move. It was certainly not my intention to scare the bejesus out of her thinking I'm some kind of deranged stalker... but the thought made a nice bonus for me.

Finally my route took me one way and hers another.

Eh... people crack me up sometimes.

It's that time... that crazy TMI time (insert jingle here)

TMI Tuesday again:

1. What is one thing a your significant other could do to you to rock your world?

Bring a friend... female of course..

2. Which super power (ability to turn invisible, ability to read people's thoughts, or invulnerability) would you take and why?

Hmmm... let's see... invulnerability would be good just because my mouth writes a lot of checks. I think reading other people's thoughts would kinda suck. I imagine hearing "what an asshole!" enough times would ultimately be bad for my self-esteem. But I think I'd really have to go with invisibiility. You could totally pants someone and stand back while your asshole friend takes the fall. Oh yeahh... heh!

3. Would you rather be tied up or tie someone else up? Why?

I haven't tied or been tied. I'm honestly torn. I think I'd get bored being tied. So I guess I would rather tie someone else up.

4. What is your best physical and non physical asset?

My GINORMOUS cock!! Oh wait, I already gave that answer in another TMI Tuesday (and it was a stretch then... get it.. stretch.. I crack myself). Hrm.. best physical would be my eyes. Non-physical, why my rapier wit, or witty rapier. I can never remember.

5. If they were naming new Dwarves beyond the seven what would your name be and why?

I'm sure my friends would all say Cynical Dwarf.

Bonus: What's the most embarrassing thing you ever bought?

Nipple cream for nursing mothers. Not so much because of what it was, but because a friend (female) walked around the corner right about the time I picked up the box.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Since the last TMI, pluffland has been pretty boring. I did take a day trip to shoot in mid-state city with Sandy. Lot of shit talking. Nothing much else though.

This crazy thing called TMI

TMI Tuesday time again:

1. Where was the first place you ever had sex?

In my girlfriends dorm room.

2. Does size matter? (open to interpretation boys and girls)

Of course... if only a little bit. And anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Case in point, ask any woman if size matters.. of those who say no, ask them what if it were tiny. Guys, would you be attracted to someone weighing 400+ pounds? If you are, how 'bout "average" size? The point being everyone has a limit. Maybe the range of size is pretty large (ha!) encompassing 90% of the population... but it's there nonetheless for the remaining 10%.

3. Have you ever had sex in your office or your place of employment?


No but I'm always open for volunteers. I did make out with an ex in her office, but we never ventured beyond kissing. Though, I did have sex in someone else's place of employment... see dentist office on the sidebar.

4. Ever been skinny dipping?

Yup.


5. Top or bottom?

Top... bottom... front... back.. flipped.. spun... sideways... twisted.


Bonus: Where were you September 11, 2001? What were you doing when you first heard about the twin towers?

I was sitting at my desk reading CNN online when the banner flashed to "breaking news". I spent many hours afterwards in our breakroom watching live coverage including the 2nd plane impacting.. the towers falling... etc. It was very surreal because Mrs and I had a checkup as she was approaching her due date for C. It was the same day the Dr. put us on the "any day now" routine even though she was still 6 weeks out.


Non-TMI Tuesday stuff:

Sandy and I have had a lot of conversations recently. I still think she's a big talker... and not so much a doer. However, a few titillating snippets are:

1) "It's good to get a perspective from a friend.. guy... male.. potential lover"
2) "I'll have to wear my pink thong for you"... me: "yeah I've heard it before... I'm sure you'll wear it. I want to see it... peel it off..." her: "You will"
3) "You could ride with me to Alabama. There is a lot of miles and time between here and there"

If only she weren't so full of shit. Sigh...

Planes, Trains, and Automobile.... Wrecks

Last night was to be my debut on a new pool team for the new session. Sarah's pool team to be exact. I wasn't entirely certain I was still "on" the team even. If you recall (ok... why would you I'll explain anyway), I shot her a text a couple of weeks ago to see if they were in the playoffs and shooting pool or not. I never got a response. I was trying not to take it as an omen. But she's one of those people who you never know if she will follow through on something. I was half expecting her to have replaced me by then.

I walked into the bar quickly spotting Sarah practicing a bit. I said "Hi". Before I started to unpack my cues, I wanted to make sure nothing had changed. I asked "Are we still cool for this session?" She nodded. I unpacked my cues and nervously stood around waiting to meet my new teamates. One guy was sitting in a chair talking with Sarah. I presumed he was on the team. He introduced himself as Zach. He played league pool a year or more ago. But I hadn't seen him around in a while. Sarah started dealing with paperwork for the team. I handed her my membership card so she could add me to the roster. She broke a rack, but then left them on the table. I asked "Is it ok if I shoot a few of these or are you playing with someone?" She said "Go ahead". So I shot a few balls. Zach stepped up and took a shot or two. So I started playing a game with him. And spanked him pretty good. I was pulling finesse shots... doing those crazy english shots where the cue curves around. And it all worked. Banks... tight cuts.. you name it. It was perfect... The next thing I know, I saw Zach and Sarah having a heated conversation. A little lightbulb went off... ooohhh... this may be a boyfriend. Note to self... no shit talking. The next thing I knew, he was storming off and she was crying. I respectfully stood aside. Then she went outside. A few of the team had straggled in at this point.

It was time to get the match started. No Sarah (captain). She came back in without Zach and started talking to the another girl on the team (a co-captain). I heard snippets of the conversation... something about him deciding not to play after all. At a break in the conversation I asked "So is that the bf?". She just nodded her head. Then she said "Sorry I haven't called you. My phone is busted". I asked how it broke. Long story short, evidently Zach got pissed and smashed it.

Ok... Zach has a temper. Meanwhile, Zach showed back up. He walked around and started shaking people's hands and saying good luck. He got to me, shook my hand, wished me luck, then said "By the way, you're the reason I'm off the team"... uhhh. what?! We were shaking hands when he said it. He started to pull away. I squeezed a little bit harder so he would come back closer and said "Excuse me?" He repeated himself. I had no idea what was going on... so I just said "Look I just want to shoot pool. But if I'm causing a problem I can shoot on another team". He just walked off. So I asked Sarah "What the hell was that?"

Then it came out... weeks ago... almost a month ago.. when I was talking shit with Sarah.. even laying it out there.. some via texts... the BF was around. Later, she told me about him and I stopped texting her with anything other than team questions. Evidently, Sarah never erased the messages from her phone. Further, she implied to me they weren't actually dating. He saw the texts.. got pissed... smashed the phone... then I came walking in happily ignorant of it all. So THAT was the problem. Boy I'm glad I wasn't blindsided or anything!

While Sarah was filling out paperwork, I had given her my membercard with my player ID number etc. so she could add me to the roster. I held my hand out and said "Listen.. this is clearly going to cause major problems... just hand me back my card and I'll find another team". She hemmed and hawed... saying it wasn't fair because I came on board before they were a couple and he decided to play blah blah. At that point, I really couldn't see a positive outcome. If I stayed on the team, he would take it out on her. EVEN if she dumped him, there would be something or someone else. I just don't need that. So she handed me my card and I walked away.

As I was heading out the door, the bar manager saw me and asked where the hell I was going. I told her the whole drama. She said "Hang on... some teams need players". And we started walking around the bar basically pimping me out. Finally, a really nice team, the team with whom we were tied for 1st all last season, had an opening. So.. in the end, I have a much nicer team.... a better team... one who consistently wins.

What have I learned from all of this you may ask? Well dear pluffsters, this is the moment where the rubber is meeting the road so to speak. I realize now, my desparation for mischief led me to that moment. While it worked out in the end... or at least presuming we are at the end... my behavior could've really gotten me in to a lot of hot water. My recent history has not been that stellar on the mischief front. First Taylor... ugh... then Celeste... double ugh.. then Taylor again.. now finally Sarah. My behavior has been pretty reckless.

So for at least the moment... I'm backing off of my pursuit of mischief. At least on Wed. nights. I won't say I'm turning a new leaf. At the moment I am seriously examing the leaf.. forest.. trees... state.. country... and continent that is that aspect of my life.

Having said that... I had even more interesting conversations with Sandy yesterday... but I'm holding off on those today.

Ah Mother Nature... That Bitch!

I spent the weekend with the fam up in the mountains at my Dad's new place. Since the last time I visited, back in June, he did a LOT more work. It's almost downright civilized up there... somewhat. The porch I helped build now has a roof. Actually, that's pretty much all of the changes. But it makes it so much more comfortable having a level spot to sit in the shade.

We got to the camp around 10pm-ish Friday night. It was the first time Mrs and C had seen the new place. It took about an hour to get things situated... turn on the power... find the keys.. find the lights... take out all the crap inside that really belongs outside, but you don't want to get stolen while you're gone... pull out C's bed... you get the idea. Once we finally got settled, I cracked open a beer and sat on the porch watching the stars. 10 minutes later Mrs finally got C to sleep. She joined me on the porch. "I thought you would already be naked... isn't that what you want? To run around naked in the country?". Really it's kind of an inside joke... or rather outside... you know what I mean. But we were in the country... I did have a beer or 2... it was relatively warm. With the gauntlet thrown, or at least that's how I saw it, I peeled off my clothes and sat back down in my chair with the boys hanging in the breeze.

Now, I've been naked in the coutry before. I was even naked in this very spot... one trip when I got there a day before my Dad. But usually it was just to step outside to use nature's facilities in the middle of the night. Not to blatantly become a nudist. It was pretty arousing. Quickly, a picture formed in my head of Mrs, equally nude, bent over the porch railing, my cock sliding home. I felt her hand rest on my thigh. I was about to suggest she peel her clothes off as well when her hand slid along my thigh to my cock. Again, before I could make a suggestion, she bent over taking my cock in her mouth. Claiming she was cold, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the camper where we "broke in" the bed.

Saturday we spent the day doing woodsy, country, mountain things. Hiking... playing with all of my Dad's big boy toys.. read tractors and other heavy equipment. I had an "oh-shit" moment when I thought the wheel was coming off the tractor. But I was mistaken. C wanted to "real camp"... i.e. sleep in a tent instead of in the camper. So we set up the tent under some trees a few yards from the camper. I fully expected her to chicken out. Much to my surprise, when it got dark, she grabbed her little flashlight and marched to the tent.

That evening I still had visions of Mrs bending over the railing... Unfortunately, she climbed in the tent with C. The next thing I knew, sounds similar to a bear were coming from the direction of the tent (that would be Mrs snoring). I decided to go ahead and join them. Three little pluffsters all tucked in a tent.

Sunday was overcast. The skys threatened to open up off and on all day. Finally, late in the afternoon the sun popped out. We opted for activities of the more redneck variety. Namely blowing shit up with many MANY guns.

As Mrs and I are too creaky to sleep on the hard ground by choice, we chose not to sleep in the tent again even though C got a tremendous kick out of it. We did the whole campfire marshmellow roasting thing. Finally, C passed out for the night. The skies had cleared revealing a perfect starscape. Deep black sky punctuated by millions of pinpoints. Much moreso than we ever see in our town. Mrs asked me to go grab a sleeping bag so we could lay under the stars. She had printed a star chart and wanted to see what she could identify. I waltzed off into the woods to where we had set up our tent the night before. The fire had died down to just a flicker of flame not much bigger than a candle throwing dancing shadows on the scene where I left Mrs. As I approached with an armful of sleeping bag, wine, and cups, I noticed Mrs doing a funky little dance. It wasn't until I was within a few feet I realized the funky dance was Mrs peeling her pants off of each leg. I layed the sleeping bag out and quickly peeled my own clothes off. Almost as soon as I hit the ground Mrs grabbed my cock. I had every intention of laying back and spending a lot of time enjoying the night air, the freedom of being completely naked and doing "naughty" things right out in the open, essentially in the middle of a field. Mrs had other ideas. She quickly climbed on top of me and began riding my cock like she had just discovered her clit for the first time. She came quickly and loudly. I tried to roll her over to slow things down a bit, but she wouldn't have it. She continued to ride my cock as wave after wave of orgasms rolled over her. Finally, she relented. I flipped her on her back slowing the pace down to my speed. I could see her nipples standing out prominently in the moonlight, her skin covered in goose bumps as the temperature dropped and the breeze quickened. I expected to be able to slow down and make it last for quite some time. Instead, she grabbed my ass grinding my cock deep in her pussy and came again. Seeing her cum over and over hand me on the verge myself. Finally, I couldn't hold back. Mrs threw her arms around me pulling me as deep as possibly as I shot my load.

I don't know how long after we lay watching the stars. Finally, the wine bottle empty, we decided to pack it in.

I don't know if it was the wine, or if the cool air and sex masked it, but the bugs had a field day with us. The next morning Mrs and I discovered the telltale bumps... oh and the itching. Mrs had whelps all across her stomach and pubic regions. I even had a damned mosquito bite on my cock! The little bastards! Eh well.. the price you pay and all.

I have been having some very unusual conversations with Sandy all day today. She is visiting her love interest in Alabama, but yet she has been calling me... hmmm... It's a discussion for another post though.