Not sure this is HNT

Not even sure this rates the "H" in HNT. Especially considering it was Sandy's BF who took this... I mean... you have to admit it's a little weird. BUT (heh... he said BUT)... I'm lazy and it seems to fit.

It's Not Supposed to Be This Hard

And I'm not talking about my cock you pervs... THAT IS (supposed to be hard)... and sadly isn't.

Last week was a wild rollercoaster in pluffland. More like a plane wreck I have, so far, walked away from. I'll start with the worst and work my way to the ok.

First, sadly, Mittens the Kitten died. I can't remember the name, but she had some kind of disease. She died while getting her little operation. According to the vet, she would've only lived a month or 2 at most anyway. Mrs was a wreck. C probably handled it better than Mrs. She was obviously upset. So my little trooper put on her brave face and went back down to the shelter and picked out another kitten POST surgery with a clean bill of health. So now we have Gilbert, an orange tabby kind of kitten. I met him after I got home last night and he is most loving and playful.

Second, my absence. I apologize for that. I had a complete paranoia "Oh Shit!" moment. I talk about my redneck sport enough here. I got message out of the blue from Sandy's boyfriend on one of the forums I go to. The way he phrased it hit me a little.. funny. To boot, I saw a couple of hits on my stats from where he lives. So I thought.. "Ok... is it possible he somehow inadvertently got a hit on my site via google or something?" His message was simple enough "What are U doing?" That he spelled all the words but one, and capitalized the one... kinda threw me. He and I have chatted online exactly 1 time and it pertained to some stuff I bought from him. I responded with "Uhhh.. huh?" To which he said "Exactly!" and did a couple of "party" emoticons. There was a long discussion on the redneck forums about a bar and it ending up in Ms. Kitty's room which got some asshat involved with "You guys aren't really drinking on the range are you?" which got some "Lighten up Francis" comments.. anyway.. As this was all going on when the coversation was taking place with the bf AND the party emoticons I said "I take it you're already working on the bar..." Then nothing... silence.. not a peep. Not too much later I was talking to Sandy and I mentioned him being in rare form. She said "Funny.. I haven't seen or heard ANYTHING from him". Then as we were talking.. "Oh.. here's a message now.. 'Looks like I'm going to have to come protect you from the boozers and OTHER stuff'" The emphasis on the "other" is mine. I happened to be checking my stats from Pluffland and saw the hits from his area... What did he mean by "other" stuff? Alarms started going off in my head. My first reaction was to go private and see what happened. Nothing happened. It's all good.

THEN there was the match. As I mentioned in the last post if you could stand the whining and made it all the way through. I was horrible. For me at least. I'll clarify. The match itself was outstanding. Great people. Great set up. Challenging (and hence the horrible on my part). The only beef I had with the match itself was one asshat FNG running one of the stages throwing his weight around and generally making that stage a miserable experience for everyone. OTHER than that it was a great match. However, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. This game really fucks with your head. RIGHT off the bat, I had a horrible first stage. It wasn't my fault. The gun fucked up royally. BUT... it got in my head. It was such a simple little stage. I just wanted a nice and easy start. And it didn't happen. SOo... my head was wrong the rest of the day. Add to that the PDA's from Sandy and the BF and my mood was at best.. dark. The final straw for me, was we were walking back to the truck after it was all over. Sandy and the BF were in front of me. Arms around each other like we used to do in HS. Whatever... they only see each other at best once a month. But then he took his hand and shoved it right down the back of her pants. I was like "HEELLOOOOOO!!" They just chuckled.

I am still steadfastly avoiding all conversations implying anything with sex as it pertains to Sandy. I was good all weekend. Well I let one or two slip but they were obvious jokes.

So that was all the bad. Here's the ok. BK is back in town. She has a new phone. And she has been texting me non-stop. We partied pretty hard Wed night. We did the whole almost kiss lips brushing game. I'm sure that's as far as it will ever go. But for now, it's fun. I'm sure I'll get annoyed and impatient at which point I hope someone smacks me on the forehead and reminds me of THIS post and the whole "it's just fun" comment.

Anyhoo... there it is... Sorry I disappeared... Glad to be back!

Mittens

the kitten.. heh.. kinda rhymes when you say it like that.

We went by the shelter Fri. afternoon to acquire a kitty for C. Yes I know... real men and rednecks have dawgs... but she's my little girl and I am SO wrapped around her little finger. We narrowed it down to 2 and had some time to play with them and decide. One of them, I'm sure, would eventually get on my last nerve. Skittish as hell and TOTALLY insanely rambunctious. The other, not quite so much. Playful. But very loving. She came up to you wanting to be petted constantly. And she was quick to jump on the other. She just didn't look like a deranged black and white dustball with teeth and claws like the other. So, and much to my surprise, C chose the slightly calmer of the two. She has two white paws hence the name "Mittens". Unfortunately, the shelter has very strict rules about shots, spay/neutering etc. We were not allowed to bring her home until after she has them all. She's scheduled for this Fri. So.. C has to wait. Mrs and C went to visit Sat morning and took this picture:






Aight... so I've said it before. It never seems to take. But here goes again. I'm SO over Sandy. I know I know... probably not really but I am really trying hard this time not to play her game. Conversations over the last couple of weeks have turned... kinda serious. Mostly... to me... I.e. "Just so you know.. I'm allergic to latex. Sheepskin.. I'm just sayin". Now, if it were anyone other than Sandy, and correct me if I'm wrong, I'd be thinking this was a sign.. a pretty blatant one at that. Mon of last week we made a fast trip to the range to do some testing on her equipment (for shooting you pervs!). Then Tues, she called me and said "Please tell me you're coming to have a drink with me". Hadn't planned on it. But ok. So I made an excuse and met her out. We had drinks.. dinner. As we were leaving she said "Do you like my perfume?" and lifted her neck. Who am I to argue? I leaned down and breathed letting my whiskers tickle the nape of her neck. She screeched "EEp" and jumped followed by "That tickles!". Now at this point, I would think that would be it. But she lifted her chin again. I did leave though. Later in the week, we were eating lunch. That night came up and she said "I just wanted to get laid". Now, I know she says shit like this when were in public where I can't really do anything about it. I know she does it to push my buttons... Consider them pushed. So Thurs night I had a meeting. Sandy had previously offered us a cat carrier she had she no longer uses. As we thought we were picking up the cat on Fri, I called to see if the offer was still good. She said "Sure. Come on over and get it". So I drove to her house. She met me at the door wearing tight little jeans. We had a long hug. We lingered just for a sec. I could smell the alcohol on her breath. She had been out to dinner with a "friend" (not sure on the status.. I know what SHE said but I'm learning how full of shit she is).

We have a big match coming up this weekend and had a smaller one this past weekend. Long story short, she is having to completely redo her setup for making ammo. We had already been to the range once to check things out. I left her some of my gear so she could go on her own. She hasn't. As soon as we finished hugging she said "I'm having trouble again". It hit me just a little bit wrong. She's had my stuff so she could get ready for many days. She waits until I'm there to "have trouble". I'm thinking "You mean do it for you". We go to the garage. I can't make her machine screw up. In the meantime, she dumped an entire load of parts all over me and the floor (the alcohol at play here). She gets down on her hands and knees where, I can see a FABULOUS whale tail peeking from her jeans. I bend down to help her.

Month ago when we decided to do this match, she called me and said "You're going to be pissed. The bf is coming". Like I care. They're together. We arent'. Whatev. Since then, she changed her tune. Making it out like she doesn't fit in his life and he can't take the time to come over for that match. So I start busting her balls about it. "You are so full of shit. You KNOW he's showing up. I don't know why you have to BS me" and on and on. She swears he isn't coming. So I throw out a bet. When he shows up, she has to let me dye her pubic hairs pink. We're on all fours picking up the stuff she just dropped every where. She looks at me and says "Go ahead and buy the pink dye". It completely hit me wrong. The ratcheting up of the shit talk. The BSing me about the BF. We all know how much I can't STAND lying. Tell me he's coming. Tell me you're madly in love. Whatever. Just don't BS me. It was the same with Taylor. So I shut up. I did what I could to make sure her machine was working. Watched her run it a few times. Corrected what I saw as the potential problem in her technique. I didn't hardly say 2 words outside of the business at hand.

DURING which... she said several times "I'm just afraid I'm going to screw this up"... or "So and so told me THIS was the way to do this". I have tried and tried to get her to take ownership of her stuff. YOU are doing this. Not me. Not so and so. Do it however YOU think you should. But if you say "I'm afraid" one more time I'm not going to help you. So she said it a lot. And argued with me about the way I was doing something. I finally said "Ok" and stepped away without finishing my statement. She said "I'm just saying what so and so" I cut her off and said "I got it." and stayed away. Once she was satisfied she could finish on her own I left.

We did ride together up to the match. She made several comments about being naked or having sex with me. I didn't say anything. Finally she asked "Are you mad at me?" "No"... "Did I get you in trouble?"... "No"... "Sure?"... "Believe me... no".. Off and on she kept after me and each time I just changed the subject. And that was the way it went. Until we got back to her place. She begged me to have a drink with her. I did. Nothing happened. She tried to start the shit talk. I changed the subject. Finally I left.

I SO want to tell her "Listen. Here's the deal. When we joke about stuff... maybe it's not such a joke to me". But nothing good can come of it. So I am still carefully trying to avoid "the game" as it were with her.

THEN... Chester started IMing me. He told me he wanted me to sponsor him to join our gun club. I have serious reservations because most of the people who know me strongly dislike him. To the point where I think they might vote him out. I don't want my reputation to be tarnished by him. But... it's a fine line with him. I was planning to go to the meeting anyway. So I told him "The next meeting is tomorrow night at XX location". He asked "What time?". I couldn't remember. So I said "I dunno. Look it up on-line. I'm going to have to myself". He said "Well let me know what time". Chester annoys me a lot because, when it comes to stuff like this, if you don't hold his hand and walk him into the meeting, he won't do it. I have ZERO patience for that kind of crap. In my head I'm thinking "If you want to be a member so bad, take some fucking initiative and BE a fucking member." I left it at, I'll be there. See you there or not. Went to the meeting. He was a no show.

So between him and Sandy I was pretty fed up with needy type people on Fri. and thus my pissy post.

Onto the really good part of the weekend though... I shot.. I conquered... I won for the first time ever. OVERALL and not just my division. That means combined with all other types of guns including the super high tech ones. I did it with my "pussy" gun. But I'll take it as there were others who could've stepped up. One guy should've beaten me but his gun royally fucked up and it gave me the opening to win. I can't brag too much because the 2nd place shooter a) is a friend of mine and b) took 2nd with a "mans" gun. With my "mans" gun (you could shoot 2), I sucked horribly. I.e. I should've actually won by a greater margin with the pussy gun if I were any kind of real shooter. BUT... I'm taking the win and enjoying it.

This coming weekend we all travel to Atlanta for a big match. As I already said, Sandy is meeting the BF. So.. that's that. BK is back in town today. She texted me and said "I miss you and I'm looking forward to hanging with you on Wed". I'm reading it as "I'm really looking forward to free drinks".. but I'm pretty cynical at this point based on other experiences.

Pussy - Feline that is...

I'm in a pissy mood today. I've said it all ad-nauseum here before. People piss me off. I'm suddenly the "adult" in my little circle of friends. Sandy.. Chester.. Even other people. From people wanting me to hold their fucking hands for THEM to do stuff.. to lying.. to playing me. I've been used and burned before (hence the "said it all ad-nauseum" remark). Nothing ever changes. But it puts me in a very pissy mood.

Elsewhere, we're going to get a cat. We've killed off all the aquatic animals. So now we're onto a cat. I've been resisiting for so long because C is tough enough. I just don't have to energy to put into another being in my house. But I think really, I don't want the responsibility. I think of all the horrible things that can go wrong. It getting loose and eaten by the gator taking up residence in our pond. A fucking HAWK swooping down and snatching it (happened to a friend). Getting destroyed by a pack of strays. The stray cats who have used my backyard as a feline Ultimate Fighting ring getting hold of it. I know deep down I'll get really attached and I fear how I will feel if any of these possible and maybe even probably things come to pass. I also really fear seeing C so upset.

But it's time to man up. So we're going to pick one out after work.

You asked fer it - HNT

A certain west coast cali kinda girl threw down the gauntlet... so here it is:

Falalalalalaaaaa MEEE MEEMEMEMEMEEEEEEE

Average Chick tagged me with this meme... so here goes:







Seven random weird facts about me... heh aren't they all...

1. When I was a little kid my Grandparents used to make "Grasshoppers" for me. Creme de Menthe and Creme de Cacao (alcoholic). Later they used to make "martinis" for me with olive juice and water (non-alcoholic this time) and to this day I love dirty martinis as result.

2. I used to do a ton of theater up until I went to college (my Mom was big into it and dragged me and my sister in as well).

3. I hate the way my eyelids make me "squinty". But I will never "fix" them.

4. I own more guns than pairs of shoes (I know shocker).

5. Commando.

6. My child makes me cry sometimes (in a good way).

7. I am obsessive when it comes to knowing facts about things. I don't like to give an opinion about something until I have researched the subject. I cannot stand "urban myths" or heresay. For example, one of my co-workers used to spout forth what is "legal" and not when it came to my State's firearms laws. I read and re-read every single law until I could quote section, sub-section, paragraph, and line as to why he was full of shit. I actually read the entire report from the Commission on the Intelligence Capabilities of the United States Regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction back in 2005 because I was so sick of sound bites and spin from both parties on the subject.

(8) or Bonus - I often times have too much idle time... i.e. my answer to number 7.

There ya go. I guess we could go into a number 9 here.. but as an e-mail administrator and fighter of spam, I am phobic about forwarding things. I enjoy them so feel free to tag away. I just shy away from tagging people myself. But.. if you enjoy this little meme... consider yourself tagged. Please link back because the voyeur in me just LOVES to know these little tidbits! :)

Where oh where

did the day go?!

I was tagged with a Meme... I PROMISE I'm going to get to it! I have other stuff too... nothing too exciting.. but I've been swamped today. Bad bad... smack me!

My ballon has bursted.. A rant in g-minor

Be forewarned... a rant follows... It's been building. I started writing the post and realized there were so many topics I've been bottling up they are all kinda spewing out at once... Thus ends the disclaimer.. continue at your own peril ;)

Ya know.. it's easy to lay out a line of BS for someone in my position. Paint a picture of gloom and dispair. A wholly unsatisfied married guy just needing comfort... a shoulder to lean on... a boobie to grope.. oh and if you feel sorry enough for me sex would be nice too.

But I've said it before, for the most part, I am happy in my situation. My shit talking and seemingly desparate search for the "strange" is in no way caused by my relationship with Mrs. My inner pig is mine alone. I reaffirm my situation because lately it seems like I have bitched about Mrs a fair amount. It happens. Not everything can be rosie. But the fact remains, I do love my wife.

Having said that... Mrs went out for a girls night. I was on-line chatting with a certain lovely.. The conversation, as they always seem to do, turned to sex (oink). Before long we were engaging in a little on-line foreplay.. followed by a little cyber oral.. etc. etc. I was getting to a good point.. er.. uh.. physically myself when I heard the front door close. Damn the timing Mrs was home. Eh no biggie... sucks but it happens. Flashing back to earlier in the week when she pretty much molested me after a drunken night with the girls.. I thought well I guess I can finish this for real. I walked out of the office to see her coming up the stairs. I playfully tore into her for drinking the last beer before leaving (it WAS a football night too). Before I can finish my beer rant I hear "Bbwaaaaaaaaa" crying, not laughing... BAWLING even... I'm talking the kind you get when you're a kid and you can't talk because of the throat spasms kind of bawling. Being the concerned husband I ask "What's wrong? What happened?" 5 more minutes of crying before she can get it out. She asks "Do you *sob sob* ev... *bwaaaaaaaaah*... do you *sob sob*..." this goes on for another 5 minutes.. FINALLY... "do you *sob* (oh it was still happening.. just with fewer frequency) ever wish I had a NORMAL name *bwaaaaaaaaaahhhhh*"

Stunned silence on my part... WTF?! Mrs does have a very unusual name. Her family is from the mediterranean region. Well.. 1/2 anyway. The other is good ol' fashioned american hillbilly. But HER name.. came from the foreign side. Evidently, the girls started screwing with each other. Making fun of one girl's backwoods hick accent... Another's choice in loser men. It eventually came around to Mrs. It was equal opportunity all around... but on the back end.. *I* get sobbing. You would think at her age she would blow off anyone making fun of her name... Hell mine rhymes with something a boat does right before it sinks... Hell my Grandfather NAMED a boat after me. It wasn't until I was in college that it hit me... I just always thought he was proud. No wonder C is so damned sensitive. She get's it honest!

Next topic... during the last election, I stated a lot of opinions. It's no secret I'm a conservative... and when I say conservative, I don't mean republican. Look up the definition... I mean CONSERVATIVE. There is a difference. Somewhere in the last 50 years or so the definition has been bastardized. I voted against Kerry the last time (not for Bush) and Bush promptly alienated me further. This time, if the democrats hadn't shifted SO far left I would probably vote democrat. As it is, it wouldn't take too much to sway me... promise me in writing you'll stay away from my one hot button... This time I think they are all full of shit and have spent millions and millions of dollars spewing carefully crafted CRAP saying nothing of substance at all. I say all of this to say the following is NOT a partisan commentary. I think both sides are too chickenshit said to say it. Or blind to realize it.

The current crisis is the result of greed ACROSS the board. Government... corporations.. AND main street. And yes I'm pointing the finger right back at US.. the average Joe. Not some CEO.. or Congress.. There are a lot of evil money grubbing fuckers who should be dealt with and are part of a higher conspiracy than ourselves... Defense contractors for example. But I'm talking specifically about our current financial crisis. It's OUR fault just as much as anyone else's. But Americans are so "what's in it for me" any candidate who says so is fucked come election day. Yes it sucks people are losing their homes... yes it sucks the market has plunged to a 5-10 year low. The whole system could collapse and maybe it should. But listen carefully to the great Pluffiwan Kenobi... CREDIT.. is the root of it all. I know it's kind of a "duh" comment. I mean they've been going on and on about how the banks have halted lending which has stalled the economy blah blah blah. But think carefully about the scope of MY statement. Americans have known at some subconscious level, credit is bad. And we are a credit addicted society. Credit cards. Equity lines. Car loans. Home loans. We are in debt the second we leave the nest (student loans). We are as guilty of greed at our level as CEO's are at theirs. You DON'T have to buy the $75 pair of jeans. Even if you use the card that gets you 10% off of every purchase in this store. Greed. Pure and simple. The aquisition of THINGS is just as bad as the aquisition of mass amounts of money. It starts with the pair of jeans... and seeps it's way to larger and larger things until you have a Hummer you can't afford to gas up and a house you should've never bought. I know... I did it. My old house was perfectly ok. I looked at the artificially inflated equity and said "You know... if I move here.. I could get TWICE the house AND equity". I was lucky I did not jump on the interest only and subprime bandwagon. I know I bitched and moaned about money. I was in the same boat 6 months ago. I did buy too much house. I did have too many credit cards, car loans, equity lines, you name it. I made some hard decisions and opted to get out of debt at the expense of some other things... possibly even my future. But I can now rebuild the way it should be.. debt free. Or at least as much as can be expected. House payment.. PERIOD. And if I could.. say inherit a few hundred thou... I'd pay it off too.

The government's current answer is to prop up the lending market?! Free up credit for people to snap up again?! When the banks really own everything.. what the hell do you think will happen when they fail?! Buy out people's bad debt... that they should've have been in in the first place?! It's all bogus money.. it's not real.. But if you say so, you piss off the voting masses.

Having said that, I will say it is ridiculous that someone like myself.. who makes above the american average annual salary (barely), cannot afford to buy a less than average home right now. I look at houses for 1/2 the square footage going for just a few thousand less than mine? How in the hell are average people supposed to get into their first home? But why are the prices there in the first place?... oh yeah... greed... credit... gluttony. For years analysts have warned the bubble had to burst. But people were blinded by "what's in it for me". I say until we get it through our thick skulls we can not spend our entire lives paying for money we spent that we never had in the first place, we should suffer. How many depression era grandparents do you know with mortgages out their eyeballs? They learned. So the economy... it's OUR punishment. Everyone's. CEO's.. politicians.. US.

Unfortunately, our society is so instantly gratified we're going to be happy beating up the Lehman Bros. CEO and burrying our head in the sand waiting for the government to make it better.

Meh.. I had more but that got enough of it out of my system...

My inner pig feels a need to stroll about... so uh.. any lovelies out there?... How YOU doin?... ;)

It was a Dark and Stormy Night

er uh... ok not stormy. There I was minding my own business. Reading a magazine. I heard the front door open and close. Mrs was home from her girls night. When I heard the car pull up, I debated for a second whether or not to turn off the light and roll over. But I opted to keep reading. The article was just too interesting.

Mrs stalked into the room. At first I thought she might've been pissed. I did a fast inventory of facebook, blogger, phone conversations.. couldn't think of any reason for her to be pissed. Then I recognized the smoldering look.... Lust... or at least her version of it. She pounced on me crushing my magazine (damnit!). I could smell the alcohol long before she landed. Almmost immediately she began dry humping my leg.

As you all know, or not, my inner-comedian keeps a constant dialog running in my head. A sort of reverse firewall, a filter if you will, keeps most of it bottled up inside for my own amusement. At this particular moment, all I could hear from the little bastard (inner comedian that is) was "BWAAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAABWAAHAHAHAAAAAA *gaaaaasssssp*..... BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Call me crazy... but I had a sense she may want sex... just maybe.

She flung the covers off of me and assaulted my cock. She went through her repetoire of tricks at a record pace... loudly I might add. There was a lot of MMmmm.. mmmph.. mmm.. MMMMMMM... I was doing all I could to muffle that little fucker now laying on the floor kicking and screaming in my brain (the inner comedian that is). About the time I finally put him aside and my cock reached an appropriate level of.. upright. She jumped up, staggered, and said "Wait a minute... gonna change". And she was gone.

In my head I heard "Mmmphhh MPPPHHHH"... oh yeah... I took my hand off the little fucker's mouth (inner comedian that is).... "BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!".... fucker.

Mrs weaved from the bathroom wearing negligee. Perhaps it was my "signal" that she wanted some... Maybe she forgot the cocksucking and the mphh mphhing from just a few seconds before. She pounced again. Again she went through her repetoire.. Stroke a few times.. check... tease the balls... check... couple of kisses on the belly... check.. tip in the mouth... check... suck and stroke... check... NOW she can climb on.

I'm not even sure I was necessary for this experience. She bounced away screaming and moaning. Usually I never worry about the amount of noise because once C is asleep, she's dead to the world. But I have to say I was actually a little bit concerned the sheer volume could wake her up from across the house. Mrs bounced and bounced... moaned and screamed... came once... twice.. I know this because again she was moaning and screaming even louder... At this point I could hear that little fucker (inner comedian that is) eating popcorn and watching the show in fascination.

After a while I thought to myself "Ok.. let's just finish this". I flipped her over and began to fuck her hard. Louder moaning and screaming.. It was getting pretty distracting I might add. I decided to flip her over... a sure fire way for me to finish. She scooted to all fours. I slid in from behind. And DAMNED if she didn't start trying to fuck me. But in her drunken state, she just couldn't get the groove going. I was really starting to get frustrated. I tried holding her down so she had to let ME lead. Not having it. Picture Elaine (from Seinfeld) spazzing out the Elaine dance, except on all fours fucking instead of dancing. Finally I got a good enough grip and held her still so we could actually get a rhythm going. And at long last I came. Good Lord that was almost like work.

The pulling a total guy move, I heard "SSssnnnnxxxxxxx". heh.

Quiet

Sorry it's been quiet 'round here. Nothing much going on. I've had a sick kid for a few days and am trying to get some stuff ready for my redneck games. Interesting conversations with Sandy but as usual.. just talk. Oh... and I ended up becoming the captain of my pool team. But BK's been out of town for many weeks and she shot me an e-mail a few days ago saying it's going to be a few more. So I got nuthin at the moment.

I'm around though... Now if any young lovely would like to help me with something juicy to write about... ;)