Commitment

Why is it so hard for 2 people to completely commit to on another? I know I'm probably going to get a lot of comments from people telling me how much they are completely in love with their SO. Maybe my experiences are the exception. If so why is it so prevalent in pop culture? I really think it's a statistical improbability that most couples are 100% committed to the other. Truly committed. Not just on the surface. Not just the fact that 2 people will remain loyal and faithful until the day they die. I mean truly 100% so in love with each other the thought of straying or of greener pastures never crosses their minds. I mean, I do see it. Some of my favorite blog reads have such a natural... ease in talking about each other you just know they are full tilt 100% in love.

My personal experiences are different. I have been head over heels in love. Willing to give up everything just to be with one person. And I mean everything. If the other parties had suggested I throw away my school and career to become guano farmers I would've done it. In the end, my commitment was not reciprocated. Likewise, I have been loved with the same ferocity and dedication and it just wasn't there for me. My first marriage was a situation where neither the ex-Mrs or I ever trully committed to the relationship. I felt pressured to marry (another story), I think ex-Mrs like the idea and the stability, but not so much me.

I'm sure I have probably said as much many times in previous posts so it should come as no shock I feel my current situation is a case of Mrs being 100% heads over heels in love with me and, while I do love Mrs for so many reasons including the typical love you feel for a spouse, I just can't picture myself ever feeling that total commitment. Willing to give up everything I've worked for just to make Mrs happy. I mean, I'm making a commitment to her. I will be with her until I die. I will throw myself in front of speeding vehicles to save her life as I would for C. I would say my commitment is equally mental and emotional. It's not like I have no feelings for Mrs whatsoever. What I'm saying is, I don't have that all consuming passion I once had for others. I guess the best word is acceptance. My lot has been cast. I will make the best of it. I love her enough. Though I wonder, will I ever develop that all consuming passion?

I have other things to say and I'm too lazy to do them in a separate post. So please forgive my wanderings.

The people from the class last weekend got together for a study group to prepare/collaborate on the final certification exam. We went to A's house. She cooked some fabulous steaks on the grill. S was there as well as Work C. The guy sort of in charge of the whole thing in this area was there as well. I'll call him MD. Mostly, the night was good food, good friends, talk about the class. Finally, we sat down and actually reviewed/collaborated on the test. I found out A and S are NOT sisters. I have no idea where I got that. I'm pretty sure one of them said it. Maybe she meant it in the figurative sense. S also says she never made the comment about "Her boyfriend's wife" that both Work C and I heard. I think they were both just having a little fun with us when we first met them.

Anyway, A's husband has a neurological handicap. I don't know what the exact term is, but at random he develops serious muscle control problems. Mostly it affects his speech. It also affects his balance. However, that night, he was fine and in fact went to a concert while we were all studying. During the conversation, A made an interesting comment out of the blue. I kinda gathered they have a sort of "hippy" type relationship. I.e. he used to be the hippy type back when he was 18ish. He still has that free spirit personality about him. A implied she should take a lover. THEN she kinda implied if he did why shouldn't she? She said "I have needs too". Now, I don't think he really has a lover. I think she was really refering to some inside joke she shares with a couple of people there. But then again... maybe his handicap affects things in that area.. who knows. He came home late in the evening from the concert. He's a really nice guy. And I definitely pick up a free sprirt hippy type thing going on.

At some other point in the conversation, S talked about her "button". It's not what you think. Work C is extremely ticklish. S discovered this and did a really good job of making him turn red while we were in the class. He tried to reciprocate. But S isn't ticklish. Somewhere in the middle of all of this, he walked up behind her and poked her ribs with his index fingers. She started swinging her hips from side to side. When he stopped poking, she stopped swinging. This is her "button". Push her ribs and her butt swivels. Ok so back to the conversation. She brought up the button. I couldn't help myself. I asked "Are there any other buttons we should know about?" She turned a little red, cocked an eyebrow and said "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you". I replied "I think I'd have to take my chances". Which got me an extended look with the cocked eyebrow.

Then, much to my surprise, she called me yesterday. Unfortunately, my phone was in one part of the house and I in another and I missed it. I called her back later after Mrs went out to her girls night out. Nothing really juicy came of it. I just found it interesting she would call me.

I have had an interesting conversation with HF. She and I are getting together for a couple of beers tonight. It may or may not be interesting. She told me the story of how she seduced her current boyfriend. It involved a few things. I am totally fascinated. She said her technique was a secret she learned when someone seduced her. I asked her to teach me. If nothing else I'll get out and have a few beers.

Finally, and most importantly, I got a "Misc" mention in the Piper Awards. Thank you! Thank You! If you haven't checked out Piper in my blogroll I highly recommend it. She lives the life I can only dream of! Very sexy stuff! I'm honored to be mentioned in such high company.

The Class

I sat on the couch in my hotel room scratching my head, rubbing my eyes, trying to unscramble the jumble of section, paragraph, rule, sub rules numbers and the subtle implications of every "and" and "or" when I heard the quiet, almost tentative knock on the door. Our instructor had assigned us an open book test for homework. I had been working on it for a couple of hours already. My room was pretty standard. King size bed. Desk and chair. Sleeper sofa and coffee table instead of 2 queen size beds. I had made myself comfortable for the hours of mindless research required to complete the assignment and was wearing only the pair of gymn shorts I throw on for modesty's sake around the house. I peered through the peephole and saw her looking furtively from side to side. I was almost speechless. I didn't think she was even remotely interested. My mind went into overdrive. Maybe she just wants to talk about the test. But she looks nervous. Why would she be nervous to discuss the test? Realizing I was standing mostly naked, I said "Just a sec". She responded "What if I don't have a sec?" Unsure of what to do, I opened the door. She looked at me and said "Oh my". But rather than offering me a chance to put something else on, she walked in. She placed her hand on my chest as she walked by me and into the room. I felt my cock swell just a little bit at her touch. Now I was really self conscious. Ok. It was a touch. But not necessarily sexual. And here I am standing in a flimsy pair of gymn shorts with the outline my schlong there for all to see. My face began to flush as I thought, "What if this is purely platonic? Here I am with my cock all but hanging out, aroused, now blushing?!?" She said, "Well, are you going to close the door?" as she sat on the end of the bed. Ok, could I get any more awkward. I closed the door. She said "Come here". Not really a problem. The bed was the first piece of furniture in the room. I had to pass by it to get to any other chair. But "come here" is a command. I assume she meant to her. So maybe I'm not off base about this visit. I walked towards the room in general. When I reached the bed, she placed her hands on my thighs. I thought, "Ok, this is really going somewhere interesting" Without hesitation, she ran her hands up the outside of each thigh into my shorts to my hips. She then slid both hands around to the front of my shorts taking my cock in one hand and sliding her fingers down to my balls with the other. Schyaa!!! As if!!

Sadly, this only happened in my head late Friday night at the hotel while trying to think of some good image/fantasy with which to masturbate. The class and weekend as a whole was a blast. Work C and I ended up riding up to mid-state-city together. At my insistance we had separate rooms. We talked to the sisters earlier in the week. Initially, Work C and I were the only ones going up Friday night. But after we talked to S, she decided to come up Friday night as well. Once we got settled, we gave her a call. The three of us went to an Outback across the street from the hotel. Almost immediately, the shit talking started. Mostly just cracking jokes. I think I broke the seal when S said something about witnessing a wreck. She held up two fingers about a 1/2 inch apart and said "I was this close to something or other" (I don't remember what she was talking about, only that she was holding her fingers up). I couldn't help myself. Ever the comedian, I blurted out "Never EVER hold you fingers like that to a man!!! IT'S A DEFORMITY DAMN IT!!!" She literally shot part of the vodka tonic she was drinking out of her nose. The conversation went downhill from there. Sadly, around midnight, we dropped her off at her car (she was staying with friends) and we went to our respective rooms. The above fantasy the only loving I got at all that night.

The next day we went to the class. It was very intensive. Almost like discussing law. "Section 2.2 rule 2.2.1.5 states 'Blah blah blah'. Note the use of AND indicating multiple conditions blah blah" The day was VERY long. After class, the whole group met at a barbeque place nearby. Work C and I sat next to both sisters. The conversation was a little more subdued because there were a lot of people from the class we didn't know so well. I don't remember how it started, but the conversation had something to do with "petting". Not petting in the sexual sense per se. But rubbing an arm sort of like you would pet a dog. I think it involved a friend of S who had a guy pet her in this manner in the middle of the night wanting sex. In the context of our discussion, it was creepy. A reached over to the back of my head and started tickling my scalp and neck. It was sort of a joke in the context of the conversation. But she lingered a little longer than a joke would require. Of course, being the comedian, I let my eyes drift out of focus and cross a little bit while I cocked my head to one side taking on a kind of exagerated "dopey" demeaner. The "petting" turned into a neck massage. The whole time I sitting there thinking "ok, now things are interesting".

Unfortunately, that's as juicy as it got. Work C and I rode with A to dinner. Around 8ish A announced "Well boys, it's time for me to turn in". We had no choice but to leave with her. The next day was a miserable day. We started back in class for almost 3 hours. THEN we drove across town for a field exercise of sorts. It was raining and cold. Fortunately, the rain stopped just as we pulled up and resumed just as we were leaving. But something about a grey, cold, humid day just saps the joy right out of you.

And then we left. Work C, A, S, and I are supposed to get together this Friday to discuss our final exam. I didn't quite realize what the class would entail both in knowledge, but responsibilities afterwards. There is a final exam you have to submit. It is open book. But because any given subject can be subject of multiple rules from different aspects, a) you have to include all pertinent rules and explanations b) you can only include those pertinent to the situation presented on the test. In other words, if an aspect of a related rule doesn't apply to a given scenario, you will lose points by bringing up irrelevant info. It will be very easy to forget or use too much related information. Additionally, the test specifically asks questions where you have to make sure you account for every "and" and "or". It's very easy to glimpse at the text and miss little details like that. To top it off, the final is a one shot deal. If you don't pass, you don't get to retake it. You must have 85% to pass. So we're all going to do a once over on the test, then get together and discuss making sure we are all aware of nuances or easy to miss details, then submit.

When I first signed up for the class, I thought "Hey I'll learn a lot and I'll be able to help out locally". I didn't realize it was an actual certification and as such, your services, while not required, are "greatly appreciated" for events far away as there are evidently few people actually certified. I'm learning new ramifications of this class almost daily since I've been back.

An interesting side note to all of this, I gave S my cell # so she could call me with details about Friday. She's one of those type who have a set of "boy" rules. I.e., you don't give them your number, you get theirs and you contact them. I presume for self defense. So I gave her my number and didn't get hers. I expected to hear from her later this week about Fri. I figured she'd call everyone who is going. So yesterday, out of the blue, I get a call from S. "Hey! I got information about xxx and yyy. Be sure to tell Work C". We chatted for a few minutes then hung up. She has both of our numbers. Hmmm... Also, one of the guys in the class, who also happens to be a regional director for all of this, has started including Work C and myself in planning e-mails. As in, we're in his "circle". Which I'm stoked about for several reasons. But, while exchanging e-mails, S has started sending e-mails only to me. I had to look closely because, at first I thought she replied to the group, but she didn't. Hmmm... Perhaps my mischief meter is slightly above 0.

New new new new!! It's ALL NEW!!

What the hell is up with blogrolling?!?! I used to ignore the nifty little notify feature for when blogs were updated. I decided to give it a shot a couple of weeks ago and what happens?!? It goes apeshit! Sigh.. fucking geeks!! :)

Last night either fell far short of, or met my expectations depending on which version of my expectations you choose to view. If you take the "siren song of T turning into major episodes of salacious material"... then they fell far short. On the other hand, if you subscribed to my "porno playing in my head is 99% overstated and unrealistic", then you would be pretty much spot on.

I did in fact pick up my new toy from the fedex office. I decided to prolong the anticipation and go hang out with the pool team rather than run around the house naked playing with the new aquisition (much to my neighbor's relief I might add). Of course T was there. Almost as soon as she walked in, it was obvious to me I stood absolutely NO chance. That girl was all OVER Work C. Every time I looked their way, she had a hand on his back, or was rubbing his shoulders, or had a hand resting on his thigh. I did amuse myself a little bit by giving him a dose of his own medicine. I cock blocked him every chance I could. Usually in these situations I'm happy just to sit back and move on to some other form of amusement. But considering how many times he's not only cock blocked ME, but also legitimate suitors, and even our own friends who actually were dating the subject of Work C's plyings. So as long as they were hanging out, I was hanging out. Whenever she had her hands on him, I made a point of asking something or talking to him. At the end of the night, they both hung out on the sidewalk presumably waiting for me to go to my vehicle. I hung out and chatted incessantly. Finally when they started to leave, she gave him a hug. I said "Hey! What about me?!" When she stepped back to give me a hug I said (mockingly) "Not you!?! THIS big stud" and feigned a hug/leg hump on him. Sometimes I'm just an evil fucker!

I want to say it was just after midnight when I left. I know I was home before 1am. Then, I finally allowed myself to crack open my new toy. I have to say, at the moment, I'm dissapointed. I've been waiting for about 5 years to have an opportunity to get one of these. It didn't cost a lot of money. It's more what it represents both generally and specifically to me. The fit and finish leave a LOT to be desired. All of the important parts actually exceed my expectations. The cosmetic aspects are, frankly, repulsive. Kinda like someone taking a '69 Camaro and using massive amounts of bondo and leaving it primer grey to "restore" it. Nothing you can't fix. Ultimately, the car could be something you would be proud to drive. But at the moment you have to fight the urge to cry every time you see it. I have already taken steps to fix the biggest objection I have. Ultimately, it will be something I will be very proud to own. I just had to get over my initial dissapointment and look to what it WILL be like. At least I finally have it in hand.

Anyway, I leave tommorrow afternoon for my class in mid-state-city. I will reset my expectations. I'm back to envisioning one (or hell if we're daydreaming both) of the sisters knocking on my hotel room door at midnight. Through the peephole I see S standing in the hallway in her pajamas. I open the door. Without a word she steps inside, closes the door behind her, walks to the bed, drops her PJs on the floor, and climbs in. A fella can dream can't he? Sigh...

What to do... what to do...

As it is Wed night, the night I usually have to myself, I had great plans for mischief. I woke up this morning thinking of T and hanging out with the pool team. Perhaps spending more than an hour with them this time. Usually when these types of thoughts run through my head first thing in the morning, they are colored by that age old male issue of morningus woodus. So in my mind I'm picturing T in a tube top bending over a pool table seductively. Flipping her hair over her shoulder as she glances in my direction locking eyes right before she takes her shot. I imagine the team disappearing one by one until... Oh my... it looks like it's just us. "Shall we continue this conversation.... [dramatic pause of course.. one eyebrow raised].. elsewhere? Shall I call you or nudge you nyaa haa haa!" You get the picture. My mind has a whole, entirely implausable script ready to play out.

Then I find out, a shipment I've been expecting, hoping, pacing to the door like a 10 year old expecting his first pair of x-ray glasses, is HERE! Unfortunately, it's at the fedex office. It requires my signature. As I don't have the leeway with the boss to hang out at my house waiting for delivery like I used to thanks to Work C, I am opting to actually pick it up.

So here's my dilema, pick up the delivery, then go to hang out with the pool team hoping for a bit of mischief which has, admittedly, a slimmer chance of happening than K-Fed getting a Grammy? It could happen! Or do I go home, tear into the package and run through the house playing with my new aquisition? Decisions... decisions...

Elsewhere, Work C and I talked to one of the sisters, S. Once she heard we were going to mid-state-city for the class on Friday night, she decided to go up Friday night too. Hmmm...

Wait, there's goes that dialog again. This time with music. bwow chicka bwow bwoww!!!

I'm an idiot

I really REAALLY dislike the fact the new blogger is tied to google accounts. I read from other bloggers how annoying it is for those of us who already have google accounts. But I figured it was a necessary evil and forged ahead. Of course, the reality of that dilema slammed me in an "Oh Shit" moment when posting a comment on another blogger's site. My mind has replayed the incident in slow motion. I can picture a closeup of the mouse. My finger descending to the left button. The sound of a vault door (or perhaps barred doors of a cell) in lieu of the benign little click you normally hear as the deed is done with absolute finality. A tiny bit of microdust flies from the mouse and desk caught in the glow of a lamp in the wee hours of morning representing my comment bursting forth from the secret crevices in which I hide to glare of public scrutiny. Cut to the slow motion play of expressions on my face going from a smug look of cleverness at my own wit to one of panic and horror as I realized a split second too late I wasn't logged in as my blogger persona but as my real self.

Thus far my attempt to come out of my blogging shell has met with the very thing I fear most. The loss of my anonymity. Perhaps, hopefully, I PRAAAY, no one gave it a second thought.

Aside from moments of panic, my weekend was pretty good. We all went out Friday night to celebrate a co-workers birthday. For some reason my inner filter turned off and pretty much every thought I had came out. Fortunately, most of my thoughts in situations like that are free association comedic quips. There were no "Boss, let me tell you what I REAALLY think about you!!" I didn't get hammered and remember everything that was said. I spent a fair amount of time hanging out with the birthday boy's wife. She's pretty entertaining. I've talked about her before but don't have the energy to find and link to the posts. Quick recap. I have a gut feeling if circumstances were right, and it wouldn't take much, those two would be swingers. Having said that, I don't think I'd really go near her. The more I hear from her husband about her the more I get the feeling she would be one of those overanalyzing types and would suck the fun right out of it.

I had high hopes for mischief for this coming weekend. This weekend will be the class in mid-state-city. The sisters will be there. I helped the local guy in charge (I'll call him MD) move some stuff out of his house yesterday. One of the sisters was there helping too. She won't be there until Saturday. I'm not clear whether or not the other sister will be there Friday night or not. But I'm seeing opportunity vanish. Eh well...

Perpective on prospectives

I went out Wed. night for the first time in a couple of months to hang out with the "work" pool team. They have completely restructured. Evidently, Work C made a unilateral decision to "punish" the team for being slackasses and turned down their playoff bid. On one hand, a few players were really causing problems. Their attendance dropped below 50%. In the format they play, it makes it impossible to shoot when you are down 2 or even 3 players. So I can see his frustration. On the other hand, the people who were showing up carried not only the burden to get the team to the playoffs, but also the dedication to fight through the handicap the other players placed on them. It was completely wrong to punish them. Obviously there was a lot of turnover afterwards. The team is now about 50% people from work and 50% "recruits" from other teams. One of the more interesting recruits, at least to me, is a girl I'll call T. T used to date one of the ex-teammates a year or two ago. She has a definite wild streak to her and is a big shit talker. In fact, it caused some problems within both the work team and the pool team when Work C, per his usual mode of operation, ran his mouth upstaging the guy she was dating (see this post for the full story). I would give T a solid 8 on my fuckable scale. She's cute in an exotic kinda way. If you were to nitpick you could say her eyes are too small and her cheeks too broad. But something about the way her features are put together is cute as hell. She has a decent body. Nothing spectacular a la HF. The topper is her attitude. I have a feeling she would be an absolute blast in bed. When we hung out back when she was dating X, we had to be real careful where the conversation went. Without X in the picture, I would personally take it as far as she wanted to go... But she was pretty eager to... jump in and go with things. Considering X's track record with women, we all decided (that is except Work C who clearly hasn't a clue about these things) not to run our mouths to keep X in the running. However, now that X isn't seeing her... and he's not on the team... I say it's all fair game. Unfortunately, I think she has it bad for Work C. And as much as he talks shit, I think when it comes right down to it, he would say no. But I think I'll hang out around the team more and see where things go.

While I hung out with that team, I got a text message from HF. Our communications have been sporadic at best since she changed jobs. Understandably. Around 9ish or so, I bailed on the one team and went all the way over to the next town where HF and her team play to hang out with her a little bit. I got there while she was in the middle of her match. Afterwards, we chatted for a little bit. Turns out she has a new/old man in her life. I won't go into great detail because the situation is pretty salacious. Which I'm usually all about. But in this case, the details pretty much give me an indication I will stand a better chance of getting elected President than to ever get with HF again. Since it isn't always about me though, other aspects of the situation leave me conflicted as a friend. I'd like to say I'm happy for her, but I can't 100% say that. So I'll stick with being "supportive" in this case. Of course I'm personally bummed. But I guess as long as she's happy. I'm cool with just hanging out with her too. It just means I'll have to find other mischief. I wonder if HF has any friends? Maybe she could help... :)

So... the final verdict for anything interesting at the moment... nothin... nada... zip... the thin thread of hope for something juicy dried up... T is at best a long shot... I'm going out of town next weekend to a class. I believe both sisters will be there as well. I didn't hear the whole conversation, but S told Work C recently she wanted a threesome with him and me. I certainly would never do one with him, but there is the tee tiniest amount of potential there. I'm not gonna hold my breath though. The thought has crossed my mind to place an ad in Craigslist for that town. What do you think?

Desparate travelling married guy looking for playmate. For the love of God let's get together!! Please... purdy please?

This whole karate thing is starting to interfere with my sex life. And at the moment, I have one. I don't know what is in the water, but Mrs and I have had sex three, countem' one.. two.. THREE nights in a row!

It was nothing spectacular. It all started as Mrs lay in bed. I walked around the room doing my get ready for bed routine. Which mostly consists of me peeling off my shirt, then flipping it at Mrs... followed by the pants. Also flipping at Mrs but with that clever little toe hook deal guys seem to develop when they are about 5. I.e. you slide the pants down.. step out of one leg and with your other foot, fling the article of clothing. At my age, I have developed a real talent for judging the weight, wind resistance, the affects of different style of garment (i.e. pants are long and require extra leg 'hike' vs. underwear), aim and trajectory to be able to consistently land each piece on her head. It really should develop into an international sport. "Men's clothes flipping". You could set up hampers, wives, pets in various locations on "stages". Points could be awarded for difficulty. I.e. flipping a pair of overalls over the back of the couch to land on a sleeping spouse. Easily a difficulty level of 7. I'm thinking 10 would be flipping your pants up some stairs into a waiting hamper. You'd have to have the pissed off spouse attempting to block them. Perhaps a dummy swinging back and forth in front of the hamper. But I digress.

While flitting about the room flinging articles of clothing at Mrs while humming the Blue Danube "Daaa daaa da da daaaa ... drop. stand.... and. FLIP". Mrs pouted "I'm FREEEZING!! Get in here and warm me up!!!" I sauntered over to the bed. With a grand flourish I threw back the covers. This illicited a squealed "DAMNIT!!! I'm FREEEZING!!! GIVE ME BACK THE COVERS!!!". Maybe it was more of a screech. In one swift move I slid into bed assuming a sort of kneeling position across Mrs legs, my head just a hair above pussy level, her legs pinned between mine, all while yanking the covers back over Mrs and me. This lead to a whole comedy routine (I was fucking HILLARIOUS I tell you!!) involving breathing on her trying to warm up parts... which lead to kissing.. which lead to petting.. etc. etc. until Mrs pulled me on top into the signature, pluffland mount position.

In the midst of the love making, I pushed myself up to a sort of push up position so just my cock was touching Mrs sliding in and out. After about 5 seconds... I flashed back to the horrible drills we did in Karate not 2 hours earlier. I felt my arms start to shake. My legs, what little they were doing, started to burn. I actually thought, "Damnit... I'm not sure I can finish!!" I stopped and rolled Mrs over to where she was on all fours. I slid my cock in from behind. We continued the enthusiastic fucking. Again... I felt the familiar burn of muscle fatigue in my legs each time I thrust my cock. I was so focused on pacing myself for endurance that I missed Mrs cumming. Hearing her snapped me back to the moment and I felt my own orgasm build. Finally, blessedly, I came.

Afterwards, I lay there panting, limbs shaking, weighing sex versus karate. On one hand I'm getting laid. On the other I'm getting in shape. But then getting in shape is clearly having a negative impact on getting laid... but I don't always get laid... so getting in shape is a good thing... but damnit I'm fucking tired... At the moment, the issue is decidedly unresolved.

Whatever is in the water pumping up our sex drive is also pumping up the sex dream factor as well. I had this bizarre dream I was going to a beach house with Uma Thurmond, and my good friend's wife. Uma Thurmond?!? I mean, she's smoking hot and definitely on my celebrity do in a heartbeat list. But what the hell made her pop up in my dream?!? I guess I get the friend's wife part. She was doable at one point. Her family also has a rental property so it fit the theme of the dream (though their house is in the mountains and not the beach). Anyway, initially, the trip to a beach house was platonic. Though, there was a lot of sexual tension between Uma and myself... surely a manifestation of how much she really wants me... I can tell... I totally felt it the last time I watched Be Cool. Anyway, the three of us started down the highway to the beach. I realized, I hadn't packed. So Uma turned the car around and took me to my house to throw some clothes in a bag. Initially, I ran around grabbing anything I could get my hands on shoving them into a duffle bag. For a brief moment, I had that whole, inability to do a mundane task thing you often get in dreams. I.e., I couldn't make my fleece pullover fit in the bag. I tried and tried but it wouldn't go. Then I looked up and saw Uma leaning against the doorway to my bedroom. My friend's wife (we'll call her L) was sitting on the bed to my right close to the headboard. She was facing the door. Uma walked over. I was bent over the foot of the bed still trying to fit my pullover into the bag. In this position, Uma would be to my right. She walked over to me, reached her right hand to the left side of my face pulling me away from the bag towards her. While holding my face, she backed around the foot of the bed to the right side where L was sitting. She backed until she sat next to L all the while holding my face. I realized I was naked. Both Uma and L wore silk robes. Uma leaned back.. still holding my face. Her robe fell open. As I followed, I naturally bent so that my face was next to her stomach. L turned towards us. Her robe fell open as well. I began to kiss Uma's belly. L slid her leg across Uma's left leg. Their bodies sort of melded into one. One second I was kissing Uma's belly. L grabbed my hand and slid it to her hip. My mouth followed. L's ass was perfect. Her skin smooth and cool to my lips. I had this weird moment where I realized how absurd the dream was. When I first met L, she had what I would call the perfect "onion". Borderline too big. But for anyone who was an "ass" man, it would be perfect. Since then, she has developed a decidedly pear shape. She's not huge by any stretch. But unfortunate genetic programming means she will always have a pretty big ass on a tiny petite frame. As my hands ran over her ass, I realized it was way too small for the L I know now. Before I could become really concerned, I realized we were in MY bedroom... which is by far the messiest part of the house. Suddenly, I felt a strong desire to get the women out before they were truly mortified at the state of things (like they wouldn't have already noticed). I suggested we continue at the beach house and for them to wait in the car while I finished packing. Of course I still had a raging boner. I decided I could quickly rub one out. In my mind, I had the whole "Something About Mary" conversation playing in my head. The one where you're supposed to beat off before a date so you'd be relaxed. Or in my case, slowed down for rounds two through ten. Which brings us to the all familiar part of the dream where you are so... close... but... can't... quite... get... there... And then I woke up.

At the moment I feel like a teenager again. Sex every night (I wish I had that problem when I was a teenager), erotic dreams every night. I feel like any stimulation at any moment will give me a raging boner. Ah what to do with all this energy...

I walked towards the front door flipping through the mail. Bill... bill... sales flyer... flyer... then I see a name on an innocent piece of paper. Suddenly, a an image from a dream I had not more than 2 nights ago popped onto the internal video screen of my brain. I've been divorced for close to 10 years now. How is it, a) junk mailers have managed to yet again offend the current Mrs by sending trash addressed to the EX Mrs not only after we've moved, but for baby stuff when the only product of my loins is via the CURRENT Mrs, and b) do so with such uncanny timing.. a la the dream I had the other night.


The details are a little vague now. It seems I was in a house. I don't remember much about it except that a) it was mine b) features of both my current house and houses I've seen on TV were melded together in such a way that I knew this was some house of my choosing. I don't remember why the ex-Mrs was there. I had the distinct impression she wasn't a part of my life normally. It felt naughty, as if we weren't supposed to be together. But I can't say whether or not I was still married in the dream. An odd little snippet, something the ex-Mrs told me while we were in our "work it out or not" phase of separation, was in the back of my mind and most likely the cause of the direction the dream went. You see, the ex-Mrs in real life sat me down on what once was our couch and very seriously said "I want to be VERY adventurous sexually". She went on to tell me she wanted to use a whip someone gave us as a gag gift. A friend gave her a vibrator and she LIKED it. Things I was all for. But we never did. I'm not sure why. When she told me these things we weren't having sex at all. In my dream, we were naked in a bedroom clearly about to have carnal knowledge. She said "I don't want just sex. You need to put this on (handing me an object that looked like a clear silicone version of a throw toy used to teach dogs to fetch like this). I want to be stretched" The doggie dildo thingy she handed me slid over my cock. I watched in amazement as she lowered herself, each segment of the toy popping as is slid inside. I remember thinking to myself "Well ok, if this is what she wants.. but what the hell does this do for ME". Yet I felt as if I were on the edge of cumming. Typical of dreams. So close... and yet... not.... quite... DAMNIT!

I can honestly say, of all the things I would be willing to try, I can't say stretching a woman is anything on the radar. I'm not sure what in the hell possesed me to dream of that. I guess maybe my psyche was rationalizing her need for more than what I gave her by coming up with some outlandish fetish for her to practice. I know in the dream, I was more turned on by the fact we were having sex at all... the whole forbidden fruit kind of thing. Not only someone I know to be remarried but someone who would never have sex with me ever again in real life.

Mostly I'm surprised by the coincedence of dream to junk mail. Could the universe be trying to tell me something? The weird thing is, in the overall scheme of women in my life, the ex-Mrs only accounts for 4 or 5 years of my life total. Mrs and I have been married now for 5, dated for 2 before that, and knew each other for 3 before we dated. I guess it's the whole "first" thing.

I spent a good part of Saturday participating in one of my sports of the reddus neckus variety. I have become somewhat of an unofficial official at these matches. I spend a good portion of the time keeping score, running sheets to the statistician, tearing down afterwards etc. This starts around 9am and goes until 3 or 4ish. I'm on my feet non-stop and even skip lunch. I know. Waah!

Work C and I were standing around debating fast food. I decided to check in with Mrs before I committed to see if she had any plans for me. She answered the phone in this really sultry voice "Hello".
I asked "What are you doing?"
"Nothing" a tiny bit more breathlessly.
"Ooooh.... you up to something!"
"Well... I am laying down" she replied.
"Oh yeah... brrrrzrzrzrzzzrrrrzzzzz"
She giggled.

So Work C and I went out and grabbed some lunch. I got home about an hour later. Mrs was flitting about the house cleaning etc. I went about my usual business of putting stuff up after a match. We both finished our tasks at the same time and plopped down on the couch together.

I asked Mrs "What are we doing tonight?"
"I don't know. What do you want to do?"
I said "Well... you evidently already took care of business..."
"And?" she replied.
"Well where does that leave me?"
She didn't respond.

After a few minutes she said, "Meet me in the bedroom... and prepare yourself".
Prepare yourself? WTF?!? So I went into the bedroom, peeled off my clothes, and plopped down on the bed facedown. Mrs came in a few moments later. She locked the door (pesky kids!!) and disappeared into the bathroom. She reappeared a few moments later with a bottle of lotion.

She started with my back and shoulders. Normally, Mrs couldn't give a massage if she had a gun to her head. She's not intuitive at all. She'll press too hard with her thumbs.. she has this uncanny ability to press with her thumb so that your skin sticks and then she twists causing excrutiating pain. If you say something, she switches to no pressure at all rather than backing off or simply using lotion or oil. It's like she has no feel for it at all. However, Saturday at least, she was doing a damn fine job.

Her hands kneaded and rolled their way across my shoulders and back. She worked her way down to my ass. I tensed briefly thinking of her normal technique. My hip flexors have really been bothering me since I started taking karate. For a split second I imagined the tendons and muscles separating from bone. Instead, she ran her hands across my butt down to my thigh. Her hands glided across each cheek occasionally sliding towards my inner thigh. I felt my cock stir each time her fingers brushed against my balls as they roamed. She moved onto my thighs and calves finally massaging my feet.

"Roll over" she commanded. I flopped on over to my back. I felt the lotion drip onto my stomach. "Odd place to start" I thought... but not for long. She quickly spread the lotion from my stomach to my groin. Her fingers roamed to my balls, her hands moving together in continous contact. With my eyes closed, it felt as if there were several pairs of hands rubbing, squeezing gently, roaming.

She shifted to my cock. Her hands were constantly in motion. Massaging, squeezing, sliding the length of my shaft, slowly but with an indescribable intensity. One hand made circles around the the tip while the other roamed around the shaft. My cock felt electrified as both hands had every nerve ending firing simultaneously. Occasionaly she would use just the fingertips to trace the sensitive underside of my cock. Other times she would grasp it firmly. Her hands were in constant motion. She began to squeeze her hands one after the other from the tip to the base. She started slowly at first, then she began to go faster and faster. It felt as though I were sliding deeper and deeper. I came so hard and fast I never felt the usual buildup. Mrs continued to slide her hands mixing my cum with the lotion. The sensations quickly became too intense and for the first time in my life I finally had to stop her.

Elsewhere in pluffland, the growing pains with blogger continue. I chose to "moderate" comments thinking it would allow me to get rid of any offensive comments if ever they were to pop up. Instead, I found out, it held all comments until I approved them (duh). I apologize to SemSex for allowing her comment to languish all weekend. I've changed them to unmoderated for now. We'll have to see how it goes. Thus far, all commenters in pluffland have always been "within bounds" so to speak. I don't expect that will ever need to change.

I finally got off my ass and converted to the non-beta beta Blogger. Please bear with me as I convert my template etc. to take advantage of new features. I will also convert the comments from haloscan to the built-in commenting via blogger. I'm not sure yet but I think this will mean all old comments will be lost. To those who have commented in the past, I apologize and hope this will not prevent commenting in the future.

{Rant on}

My Mom has been with us all week. She is in town working with a client. I love my Mom, but she can drive me insane. For years I've been trying to find the right words to describe my Mom. She has that whole... aggressive insecurity thing going. As in, she's insecure about a lot of things, so she lashes out and attacks to establish her dominance rather than shy away. Most conversations with her are about how she "showed so and so who was boss by writing a letter saying 'You don't treat ME like this. I KNOW how insurance (or whatever it is she's disputing) works and I will NOT be pushed around'". Sometimes I want to shake her and scream "YOU KNOW... IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!!!" Oh.. and she likes to name drop. As in "I was talking with the head of XXX at Duke University, our friends so and so know them and we were all at a part together. And HE (dramatic pause) agreed with ME (more pause) that blah blah blah".

Anyway, it has been well established on this blog I'm a geek. I've been in the field for 20 years. I started when I was 12. For the first 9 years of my professional life, I did a lot of application level support (i.e. dealt with users). I switched to a more technical role and only deal with users after they've been through several levels. Most of my day is spent blissfully working on projects (yeah right!! or posting!). Occassionally I get a user problem. I do take a 24/7 on-call primarily for system support (i.e. sick machines) but about 25% of the time on-call handles end users.

This is relevant in that my Mom took a job for a software company last year. She travels about 99% of the time training offices how to use their system. I imagine she's very knowledgeable. My Mom has worked in the field the software supports all of my life. For at least 15 years she was in the family business with my Grandfather and made him a lot of money. Having said that, her new job and experiences (i.e. how SHE showed someone she was right and they were wrong) is all she fucking talks about!! Last night, I was trying to watch the Sugar Bowl, she went on and on about how this piece of equipment didn't work and she told the user they needed to talk to technical support because she was only their to train and how they got snippy and she had to remind them of the contract. Which wouldn't be so bad, except that she would tell it once... then later we would hit a lull in conversation... then she'd start over again but from a different angle... and on... and on. Poor Mrs... I started walking away and finding other things to do than sit around and listen. Mrs is a saint. She works with people... old..er..ish people who have all sorts of personality quirks day in and day out. She has learned the fine art of listening, then guiding a conversation until she gets whatever it is she wants/needs from these people. She sat and nodded her head and listened very attentively. Finally, she said "Whew... I'm exhausted. I think I'm going to bed"... around 9pm.

I wanted to scream... "GET OVER IT!! LET IT GO!! I HAD ONE PERSON YELL AT ME BECAUSE THEY FELL FOR A PHISHING SCAM AND, IN SPITE OF THE WARNING FROM OUR SPAM SOFTWARE, THEY FELL FOR IT ANYWAY. THEN ANOTHER YELLED AT ME BECAUSE I BLOCKED WHAT LOOKED LIKE PHISHING AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE REAL MAIL WITH TAX INFO FOR 2006 AND ONLY ABOUT 25% OF THE 10,000 EMPLOYEES HERE GOT THE MAIL... OH... AND THE BEST WAS THE MISROUTED SUPPORT CALL WHERE THE GUY WHO ROUTED IT WOULDN'T BELIEVE I WASN'T THE RIGHT GUY, YELLED AT ME, THEN HUNG UP ON ME AS IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING! THIS KIND OF SHIT HAS HAPPENED DAILY FOR 15 FUCKING YEARS!! BUT DO YOU HEAR ME DRONING ON AND ON ABOUT IT?!?! NO!! BECAUSE I LET... IT... GO!!!"

I have to wonder, how much of her time is spent wallowing in incident after incident. I know she does this because she wants validation from the rest of us that she is the almighty slayer of stupid people. But does she really mull each and every incident over and over in her mind? How exhausting must that be.

{Rant off}

I had every intention of coming up with a list of New Year's resolutions. Last year was the first year I ever actually wrote some down. And I believe I have accomplished them all. I'll have to go back and check. Ok... a quick glance at my archives have revealed my resolutions were in fact only 1. But I did accomplish it. It was for me to get in better shape by taking up karate again. It took me several months of financial hell... but eventually I did it. I wanted to be down to 185... I'm still at 196. But I'm in way better shape and happy with myself.

I started to come up with some for this year... but I just couldn't seem to think of anything of substance. Then I thought, hey... why not improve pluffland... and by pluffland, I mean this site. But not in the usual Change the template... post some pictures kinda way. I really mean my standing and relationship with the blogosphere. Over the past year, the audience has grown. Not to staggering numbers. But way beyond anything I ever imagined when I started. I have made tee-tiny little connections with a couple of fellow bloggers. A comment here or there. But I look at other sites who I admire and see their connections to other bloggers. They have a little community going. I want to work my way to being more of a part of that. It's a challenge for me. I'm really a pretty shy guy in real life and in cyberworld as well. I don't chat because I'm too worried about coming across as a creepy old guy type. I rarely comment because I always feel like someone else has already said whatever I would've... But damnit... I'm gonna reach out anyway. I think it would make Pluff Mud Musings much more enjoyable for me and via transference.. more interesting for others to read.

Along those lines, I'm going to do a little housecleaning. My blogroll is seriously out of date. One of the casualties of change and time was my first ever linker. Naughty Secrets. They have disappeared. I know they had a child and I'm sure that has changed everything as it did for me. But as my first ever linker, I have a fond little place in my heart for them and wish them well. Hopefully I'll get the blog roll cleaned up over the next few days.

Happy New Year!!

Woohoo and stuff. Christmas in Pluff Land was... nice. We started Christmas morning with just the three of us (Mrs, C, and I). C was a hoot. She was very much into each toy. We had to prod her to keep looking at all the OTHER things Santa brought her. She got a lot of stuff this year.

I got everything I wanted too. I didn't want much. Just a new radio for my truck. The old radio would only work for maybe 30 seconds at a time. The new radio is essentially the same model as the old, except it will take an aux in which will allow me to use my mp3 player instead of lugging CDs everywhere.

The day after Christmas we travelled to see my Mom. Almost as soon as we reached her city, we all packed up and went to our hometown a couple of hours further away to a family Christmas party there. The party was actually my step-Father's family. I met some of them before. But haven't seen them in somewhere around 10 years. Nothing really juicy about the party. Though, his family tends to be on the free wheeling side. So you never know. We didn't get back to my Mom's house until after 1am. Exhausted, we spent the next day recuperating.

After a few days lounging around my Mom's house, she talked us into taking a ski trip. I think the last time I skied I was around 22 or 23 (about 15 years ago). I made 1 run down the beginner slope and immediately went straight to the top run they had. As this is the east coast, and the weather was marginal for snow, it was nothing to brag about. But, for the first time in 15 years, it was enough. It's funny how some things you never seem to lose. Like riding a bike. You can go 20 years without sitting on a bike. But when you finally do again, it's like you've always been riding. For me at least, skiing was the same way. While you won't see me shoosing down the slopes with my ski boots touching each other, I managed to shoosh well enough and fast enough to get a whistle from the ski patrol as I approached a merge (the nerve... I was totally in control and watching for traffic!! Hmph!!). I did wipe out 1 time. Ah I wish I lived a little closer. We're about 5 hours from the mountains. My hometown was about 2. I miss the good old days of the family piling in my Grandfather's RV for a weekend at one of the resorts. Sigh..

New Years eve was uneventful. Mrs and I were pretty tired from the drive back. We just sat around, watched TV. I'm amazed at how... uneventful the coverage seemed to be. Almost as if the networks thought... New Years... blah blah blah... I suppose we'll wheel out Dick Clark and prop him up... even the crowds seemed almost over the whole thing. I mean, Times Square was packed as usual. But the second the ball dropped it was almost like the energy just sucked right out of the celebration. And poor Dick Clark. It was as if they almost propped him up in his chair and said "Just read the teleprompt".

I actually met him once. I was in Cincinnatti for training several years ago with a coworker (who, at the time ranked at the top of my fuckable scale.. though it never came to be). One night we went to the American Bandstand Cafe. While waiting for our meal, we noticed an unusual number of camera flashes. We thought maybe someone was having a birthday party. After 10 minutes or so, I looked up from the table and saw, standing 3 or 4 booths down from ours, Dick Clark and his wife chatting with the people at the booth. Sure enough, he worked his way from booth to booth until he got to ours. He asked us how our meal was. I think we stammered some kind of response. Then he quipped "I don't know if I could do anything about it if something was wrong!" He looked just as good in person as he does on TV. But there is some kind of weird optical illusion going on with him. As he was standing talking to us, he looked maybe 40. When he leaned in to shake my hand, suddenly, he looked 70. It was the damndest thing! Anyway, after just a couple of seconds of chit chat, someone, I guess the manager, came and guided him to a chair near the front door. A few minutes later I glanced over to the where he went and saw a line going out the door of fans getting his autograph. I wish I had the presence of mind to ask for one when he was at our table. Oh well. Such was my one brush with a celebrity.

Anyway, Mrs and I watched the celebration with... I guess it's best described as indifference. Eh.. another year gone.. another coming. Then we went to bed.

Oh yeah... and had sex for the first time in 2007.

So far, my New Year is mixed. Had sex with Mrs... but I'm at work. A combination of a) the "conversion" I've been talking about from my old employer to new and the fact that we have no accrued paid time off and they won't allow us to go negative even for today b) a sick computer and c) a slack ass co-worker who ignored said sick computer until I went on-call today. Damnit!!

I have new goals and resolutions for 2007. But I've rambled enough. I'll discuss tommorrow.